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Thread: About to start my journey

  1. #1
    Member Katie Louise's Avatar
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    About to start my journey

    Well, I've had enough of denying it, pushing her back in. My alarm bell has finally gone off. I'm gonna do it!
    When I started this journey I thought I was a crossdresser and picked out the name Siobhan. Turns out she's a 46 year old woman called Kathleen (Katie)
    I've got in my hand a referral to an endo.

    But. I have a few issues and I'm going to have to eventually address them. I have 4 kids who live with their mother and I see at a very irregular interval. 16, 12, 11, 10. They come from a bit of a redneck, intolerant family. Someone (another Transwoman) suggested that for the day a month I can probably crossdress back so I don't traumatise them any more, because my being in the closet made me a horrible man and I've spent 8 years rebuilding those relationships. I'm bald as a badger and will need a wig anyway so with a binder ansd minsfulness this may be possible.

    Then there's the coming out at work. I work for a church based not for profit and while LGBTI folk are protected creatures under legislation in my country, they are still a church, so I may have a few ducks to line up and a resume to write for Katie.

    So its a scary but exciting time and I'm really going to need your support and advice and it will be very much appreciated.

    Thanks for reading
    Katie xx

  2. #2
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    There is generally a lot of support and advice here! You came to the right place! Do you have a counselor/therapist? You might want to consider one if you don't! They can help with some of your issues as well! Wishing you the best! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
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  3. #3
    Member Katie Louise's Avatar
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    Thanks Lana, I neglected that. My doctor is researching one

  4. #4
    Member Dorit's Avatar
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    I cross dressed a couple of times during my transition over the last year to satisfy two of my adult children's request to be with them and my some of my grandchildren. I learned two things. First, it was not at all satisfying to me personally, I felt so phoney and uncomfortable being with them that I did not enjoy the time together. Second, it did not advance my children's acceptance of me, it actually caused an escalation in their requests for me to come as "a man" just for the family event. When I told them clearly that I was living my life full time and as a woman and that coming to a family gathering in a costume was no longer an option it actually brought them all closer to accepting me! While there is still some work to be done, I am very close to having them accept me as I am.

  5. #5
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    Hi Katie,
    I appreciate you have a considerable challenge to deal with the redneck situation. I think in the end truth and being only loving the kids will see everyone for who they are - remind them for example that love is the basis of their beliefs, not prejudice. I think they do need to see the real you, but perhaps you can pace this over visits, gradually being more womanly so they get used to it in phases, not one big shock.

    We cannot discuss religion in open forum, but i have good ways of dealing with such folk, so PM me if you wish.

    very best of luck
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  6. #6
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Welcome to the Transsexual Forums, Katie Louise!

    It seems evident to me that you are putting your children's well being high on your list of priorities.

    In the very early days of my transition, I did cross dress as a man for one weekend and managed to survive it, but I would not have been able to do it on a regular basis. At some stage, you will need to prepare your children for the fact that you are no longer pretending to be who you are not (a man). Otherwise, if they discover the fact by another means, it will not only come as a much greater shock, but may also cause them to feel betrayed.

    Without discussing religion, I don't know the stance of your employers on trans rights, but it might still be worth discussing it with them. We can only hope.
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

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  7. #7
    Member Katie Louise's Avatar
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    My greatest concern is getting through this without hurting people. I believe the majority of people around me are fairly progressive and as an organisation one of the vales is to model unconditional love (although this will be proof of whether they actually put their money where their mouth is so to speak). The wild card is my ex and her family. I've spent over $80k just to have the kids in my life and really would prefer not to go back to court again.
    Sigh.

  8. #8
    Member KymberlyOct's Avatar
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    Hi Katie (my daughter's name btw :-)
    Your situation is challenging and you alone can walk this path. My best advice is to weigh the advice of others a little bit and then weigh your own heart and head even more.

    My two cents.... Is complete honesty. Tell your kids - I wasn't perfect - here were my struggles- I love you - now I am trying to love myself.
    I would ease into dressing as your trueself at first, but explain to them it is coming. Give them time to adjust. That's what I did and it is what my daughter said she needed. But follow through.

    As for work. UGH. I have no patience for work as an excuse. No matter what you do there are always other places to work and people that want you. Worry about you and your kids the most. The rest will work itself out.

    Congratulations and best wishes. There will be rough patches but you got this !!!

  9. #9
    Member Katie Louise's Avatar
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    Thanks Kymberly,

    Updates. I went through my concerns with my GP today. He's referred me to a counsellor to work the issues through. Cleaned up the resume - I plan to apply as Katie probably middle of the new year after I sound the HR manager out.
    As for the kidlets, I'm thinking head for androgenous dressing first and go from there.

    As always. Advice welcomed.

  10. #10
    Member KymberlyOct's Avatar
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    I did the androgynous thing as far as dressing. I eased into it. Kids need a sense of stability - but honesty as well. A gradual change - regardless of their age is easier to handle rather than an overnight abrupt one. Not a psychologist - just my opinion. But don't let gradual turn into stagnation.

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