When it comes to finding a relationship, what would be the least you could accept

[maya1love]

Hi ladies:

A question for all of you -- when it comes to finding a relationship, what would be the LEAST that would be acceptable for you:

1. a partner who was tolerant of your dressing but did not participate
2. a partner who was accepting of your dressing but did not participate
3. a partner who was accepting of your dressing, and participated, but it did not "do anything" for them. In other words, it was not exciting for them. The fact that it made you happy was enough for them.
4. a partner who was accepting of your dressing, and it was also exciting to them that you dressed.

I'm curious about this -- again, I'm looking for the LEAST you could accept to feel joy in a relationship with a potential partner as a crossdresser. I do wonder for myself whether #2 to #4 could work for me. I don't think #1 could.

[Tracii G]

4 would be great but I don't like living with anyone because I feel cooped up.

[Susan Smokes]

For now, I am not interested in being in a relationship. I am enjoying being single, with the freedom to explore and try new things as a crossdresser. If I ever decide on a relationship, it would be #4.

[Micki_Finn]

Being in an accepting and open relationship, I honestly don’t think I could ever settle for anything less.

[Tracy Irving]

In life, we are forced to tolerate lots of stuff we don't have to accept. Unfortunately, none of the options work for me.

[LeannS]

None would work for me because if this marriage ends for some odd reasons i will stay single and be myself from then on

[Angie G]

before my wife knew I would have hoped for #4. Now that she knows I find my self in the #3 spot
Angie

[Jackiefl]

I think 3 would be the most practical. I would like to dress up whenever I want but it doesn't have to exite my partner. My wife has girlfriends that she goes shopping and lunches with and it is just 2 girls out, there is nothing exiting about it.

[Nikki A.]

At this point in my life, anything less than 3 would be a deal breaker. Yes a 4 would be ideal, but as long as she can accept and sometimes participate I can live with that.

[Bobbi46]

#4 might at a pinch but with two divorces behind me now I don't see another relationship on the horizon anytime soon. I think fiding a partner who is totally accepting of ones lifestyle would be an extremely big ask if not impossible who knows?

[Leslie Langford]

maya, you forgot to add the "0" category to precede all the rest, as in:

"0. a partner who insists on enforcing a DADT status quo as the price of admission to the relationship"

Sadly, too many of us are trapped in this particular purgatory, and we usually found ourselves in it after the fact, with little or no input into the "conditions" imposed upon us. We are the ones (usually of "a certain age") who grew up at a time when crossdressing was a huge social taboo, we were deep in the closet because of that, we were sure that marriage or a similarly committed relationship would "cure" us (NOT!), and so we continued to keep our crossdressing needs to ourselves initially. When the dam eventually burst (whether by design or by accident) and we finally found ourselves outed, it was DADT or the highway as far as our spouses were concerned, and we have languished there ever since.

Knowing what I know now, would I do the same thing all over again? H*ll no!...there would have been full disclosure upfront before marrying, and if my prospective partner couldn't handle my crossdressing proclivities, then the relationship would have ended right then and there. But now, it's too late, the damage is done, and short of getting divorced at this late stage of the game, we both have to live with the consequences of a life-altering non-disclosure decision made many, many years ago.

[Trish]

Number 3, is where I am with my wife.

[sometimes_miss]

Probably 2. I understand why women don't like it. But then, there are things that I don't like, too. There was a quote from the show 'Becker', where he described relationships as, 'Doing things you hate with someone you love'. I disagree, but only a bit. I don't think that most people get lucky enough to meet someone that shares every single value and enjoys every single thing that the other one does. So, we get much of our needs from our SO, and we love them enough so that we understand that they cannot get all of their needs, from us. And we have friends to fulfill the rest.

For example, gardening. I understand why some people like it, but I can't stand it. Spending a day out in the dirt poking plants around, getting up and down with every plant, picking the friggin' fruits of the plant to eat, weeding, etc., I'd truly rather drill screws through my toes. So I let my wife (ex) enjoy her gardening, and I went off to do something else.

I'd be okay with the reverse thing if I felt the need to crossdress; I'd 'do my thing', and she could go out with her friends or shop or visit relatives, etc..

What I wouldn't be able to deal with, would be knowing that she didn't like it, because then I'd simply wind up in the same situation that I was in before, and then wind up in a divorce with someone angry at me for not changing for her, that wants to punish me by suing me for every cent she can get.

In fact, maybe I should say, I simply wouldn't get married again. I don't see the point, unless you're going to have children. At this point in my life, tax wise it's probably better to just live together.

[Rayleen]

It would be # 4 if I was going to be in a new relationship, but also would be the option of being single again .

[docrobbysherry]

#5. Single and too old to change. Besides, I'm already in a committed relationship with Sherry!

[Tracii G]

Some people feel that have to be in a relationship and I always ask them why.
They never seem to come up with an answer other than I don't know you are just supposed to.
Single rules !!

[Shayla]

More complicated than this. If she met most of my other needs but hated the cd-ing, we could still make it work as long as she accepted that it was a legit part of me. What does not work (I know now from experience) is the DADT. Keeping secrets and holding shame are a killer for relationships. If she didn't like the CD-ing but could at least understand it and let me do my thing without shaming then it could probably work, although not ideal.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Maya , MyWife of almost 55yrs is a combination of #1 & #2, We have a very workable DA/DT.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Orchid ..++..

[Bruce64]

These Canadian nights are way too cold to be single, I would like if my partner enjoys me while I cross dress, she doesn't care one way or the other.

[Taylor186]

My current relationship fluctuates between a one and two, and I'm fine with that. I wouldn't knowingly go into a DADT relationship the way we define it around here.

[Alice Torn]

I am now at the point where i n longer have much hope for one. i am used to being a loner, with cats. I am low income, and no GG wants a low income man, let alone one who CDs. I don't need a person to lord it over me, either, and demand material things i can not afford. I am a bit of a minimalist, too. Buy good used things, never had a newer vehicle, drive old vehicles. No GG wants me nor gives me a chance/

[HollyGreene]

I have had relationships ranging from intense dislike of CD (I never told her that I was one), acceptance but with no interest (she wasn't in a position to criticise me because she had previously had a lesbian relationship) to full acceptance in which she used to buy us matching sexy, lacy underwear, which we would wear in bed.

As I am now married in what is little more than a DADT relationship, I have to say that if I was in a position where I was going to start a new relationship, it would have to be the full-on acceptance and participation. If that wasn't forthcoming, I would probably choose to live alone.

[Beverley Sims]

When I was in that situation many years ago I would have accepted......

-1. A partner.... :-)

Later in life I met my new housemates and they would enthusiastically dress me up and I would make the fourth at bridge.

[kimdl93]

Honestly, there are times when a DADT seems better than being alone, but in truth, I’d prefer that any future relationship be a 4. Ive had two long and mostly good marriages. The weakest link was acceptance of who I am....by me and my exes. I don’t want to tread on eggshells or thin ice again

[Charlotte7]

Me, I'm in a #4 and have been for more than 30 years. And having lived life like this, then that's the only way I could carry on. Should the worst happen, should I need to find a new partner, I could not put me back into any type of box.