Very sorry to hear Julie. Sounds like this has brought about the need for a much deeper discussion and I hope you can work through it together with a counselor.
Very sorry to hear Julie. Sounds like this has brought about the need for a much deeper discussion and I hope you can work through it together with a counselor.
I have been circling for a thousand years,
and I still don?t know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
or a great song.
Rainer Maria Rilke
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Just a though is she trying to drive you out of her life, pushing you to make the first move so that she can say it was not me that upped and went? just a thought, I know it is a difficult time for you and I have been down the rocky road of marriage difficulties except both of mine ended in divorce.
I wish you well and hope you find a way out of this that is good for you.
I started life a lost man now I am a found woman
I know her. The last thing she wants is us divorced. She fears upsetting the status quo more than anything. So that is the basis for much of her concern. Bottom line is she thinks it's very weird and I am some kind of freak. Though she won't come out and say it. She claims to be liberal and accepting of others and their orientations. Just not mine.
Julie, have you explained the medical background to her as to why we are this way? Have you in fact explained to her that it has been medicaly accepted that things go slightly wrong at the time of conception and then 9 months later out pos either a lesbia or gay to be or whatever in between, which means that we are each born to be the way we are. I can back this up by the fact I have a very eminent French Dr friend who lectures at the Faculty of Medecine at the University Hospital here in Limoges, he has a gay son and he told me that it all happens before we are born, it is not a given choice for us to decide. You can quote me or your wife can message me I can give you my email address so that she can have an independant totally unbiased view of our various make ups.
That being said I hope you find a happy medium out of this slight upset in your life.
I started life a lost man now I am a found woman
Thanks, Bobbi, and to all of you ladies for your support. She does not understand or even want to hear any justification or reason. Not sure where this will lead me, but not sure I can live with this. The hypocrisy, controlling, and judging over this little part of me tells me she doesn't love or accept me. Maybe never did, maybe never will.
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Several loooong discussions today. She admitted this was her problem in that she couldn't accept my orientation. She even suggested I go to the conference, a day later.. Too late for that, and she apologized for pretending she could accept it and support my attendance. Off to see a counselor tomorrow. Confident in who I am and what I do.
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Saw therapist today. He was balanced and fair. Wife has a long road ahead to acceptance but she said she felt confident she would get there. I see light ahead. Thank you to all of you who have helped along the way so far. I sang your praises in the session.
Julie;
It sounds like both of you are seeking to control the situation and its just spiraling. One of you has to be able to deescalate in order to have a conversation. Try to put your thoughts in a letter without using buzz words like hypocrisy. I think you can work this out, be available. We all have disappointments from time to time. Is there a compromise event that you can addend? You have come a long way, just be patient
It sounds like progress to me, Julie. Of course, there will be ups and downs, but loooong conversations are much better than prolonged silences. Keep the conversation going. And don’t feel the need to justify or reason. Just listen and empathize with her feelings. Let her know she has your support.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Since you see light after the therapist that gives me a great relief.
I was concerned . Please make sure she keeps going and tell her what you told us - how it made you feel.....If she even thinks of stopping . Best Wishes.
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Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️
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Di, Kim, yes I feel better than ever about my CD and our relationship. Kelly I was just venting, though it was truthful.
Last edited by Julie MA; 10-15-2018 at 08:05 PM.
I understand Julie; I posted before your last post. I think you two will work it out. It's just going to take time.
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