The new order

[sometimes_miss]

I have had some homosexual sex act desires, but it's not due to being attracted to men; it's a conditioned response to being lonely and starved of affection, which was only resolved when I was with the older male who treated me like his girlfriend, way back when I was a boy; having sex with him was pretty much the only time anyone ever touched me without hitting me. While I have the desire to be penetrated, it doesn't actually feel good, and I don't enjoy it when it's happening; and I find the scent of a men's locker room, rift with male pheromones, both nauseating and repulsive. I'm sure the psychologists would have a field day with all the maybe's and what if's, but I've been through all of that already. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

If you're not sure who you're attracted to, just go down to the beach. When a hot guy is coming from one direction, and a hot girl is coming from the other direction, which way did you find yourself looking? It's a rare person indeed, who's head will be twitching back and forth like a metronome.

[alwayshave]

Patti, I think what you are seeing is the majority of members here are older straight CDers who have wives who think all CDers are gay. They are not saying you can't be who you are, they are saying they are who they are.

[Connie D50]

I not sure I would call it a new order. It has always been here crossdressers that are not heterosexual. I have seen on this site many of times (post) that ask the questions on or question crossdressers being heterosexual. Many members jump right on that and a sure everyone I'm 100% heterosexual, which is fine but we should not jump all over anyone who is not. I agree with Tracii
"You do know gender and sexuality are two different things right?" that statement needs to be heard from both sides of this discussion.

[Ressie]

I believe that young TG types that cross dress and are bi or gay, are just more visible to everyone thru media sources. There are still young, heterosexual closeted CDs that have no reason to come out of the closet. There are no photos or videos of them anywhere on the internet, so who knows how many there are?

Moreover, I don't think anyone ever thought that 99% of crossdressers were hetero. 90% might be more accurate, but my guess is that the number is even lower. Still, the majority are heterosexual to this day.

[Lygophilia]

I don't think this is anything new. I do find it hard to believe, however, that most crossdressers are straight though, until I came to this forum. I never met a straight crossdresser before in person, but either way, do what you want.

[patti1569]

So are you saying that people here who are gay/bi must to keep it to themselves in case someone's wife sees it? Seems selfish to me..... Perhapse if people tell women about their habbit before marrying them, there wouldn't be so much confusion.

Thx! Was just about to say something to this effect.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

We don't need this? Really? What do you mean by we, all the good upstanding straight members here? That's what it sounds like. In fact what it actually sounds like is possibly the single most homo-phobic sentence I've ever read on this forum. I was going to add 'and this from a straight crossdresser' but I won't because, you know what, my or anyone elses sexuality is no-ones elses business.

Agreed! I felt the same way when I read this.

[LeslieSD]

Patti, it is cool that you are a bisexual crossdresser, just as cool as a heterosexual crossdresser.

The sexual orientation (who you want to have sex with) and gender identity (which gender you are) seems to be two separate things. So there are gay/lesbian/bi/straight transgendered, just like there are gay/lesbian/bi/straight non-transgendered. Adding on top of sexual orientation / gender identification, there is also gender expression (what you like to present as). So there should be at least 8 different combinations (assuming a binary gender / sex world). Bi adds just another level of complexity. And gender fluidity between the binary poles make this a continuum rainbow.

Human is complicated.

[patti1569]

Thx everyone for the responses! Just a few points of clarification and observation. Yes I know gender and sexuality are two separate things. I meant that younger crossdresser are blurring the lines of both gender and sexuality. I base this on the fact that I have been active on other sources of social media where younger crossdressers are expressing themselves. Those outlets (reddit, Flickr, kik, FetLife etc...) are different from this one in that there is not as much dialogue or discussion about any one thought or topic. That’s what makes this site great! I was hoping that some younger crossdressers would speak up here and affirm my thought on the topic. What I found, and suspected, was that the majority of responses were from self described part of the “old guard”. And to be honest, I’m part of that group myself. I joined this forum MANY years ago as a confused younger crossdresser. What I would like for everyone to consider, is that the younger generation of crossdressers are different than the representative population of this site. There have been multiple references to “labels” and a dislike for them. I get that. But this very site is called “crossdressers” forum. That’s a HUGE label. I also feel that the new generation, in my observation, is shifting towards “transgender” as a descriptive word instead. It’s more of an umbrella term. Also, not at all trying to force anyone here into accepting these ideals for themselves. I know that there are heterosexual crossdressers. Just opening the dialogue that I feel that the newer generation may not be as black and white on gender OR sexuality. Thx of you read this far!! Haha.

[DaisyLawrence]

Very well summed up patti. Couldn't agree more.

[Charlotte7]

I also feel that the new generation, in my observation, is shifting towards “transgender” as a disceiptive word instead. It’s more of an umbrella term.

Yes, Patti, I've picked up on that too, and more than picked up on it, it's a phrase that I now use to describe myself. I prefer it as it describes me as me, and not what I do.

[Janine cd]

I'm 79 and still have the curiosity of what it would be like to being loved by a man when I'm dressed as a woman. This is probably a feeling that will never go away, but I have never tried to make it a reality.

[Felicia M]

I think Micki Finn really nailed it:

I think it’s just becoming more acceptable in society and therefore more visible, and as more of us come out of the woodwork we’re just seeing the glorious spectrum that has been there all along.