Mykell, I noticed u referred to your friend as a "fem lesbian". Does she refer to u as a "male lesbian"? If so, you've just hedged on what u posted!
U must see Aunt Kelly's point? U and your friend can call you anything u like.
But, u can't expect everyone else to understand and/or agree!.gif "Big Roll Eyes")
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I'm not sure anyone here is fully qualified to speak for "the lesbian community (generally speaking)", but if your assertion is based on people you know, I fear you are courting the acquaintance of some bitter, nasty, and mean-spirited lesbians. Laughing at another person's legitimate questions concerning sexuality? Really?Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly
I'm beginning to get a sense of where you are going wrong. The notion that I need to go to a lesbian bar to have my lesbian credentials validated is disingenuous. You seem be under the impression that lesbians are only attracted to other lesbians when that's obviously not the case. Lesbians, Aunt Kelly, are attracted to Women. Whether the women they are attracted to are lesbian or not is totally beside the point.
I can't speak for other CDers, of course, but if I am presenting myself as a female, with the clothes, the makeup, the accessories and all that goes with it, it just stands to reason that my natural attraction to females (which does not change when I'm dressed) must also be re-framed from a feminine perspective. So, to emphasize the fact I am presenting as a female but am attracted to women, "Lesbian" is the most apt descriptor.
Transwoman? Moi?
Last edited by Patience; 10-18-2018 at 11:47 PM. Reason: Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
When haters hate, I celebrate!
Yet again, no. A lesbian is, by definition, a woman who is attracted to women. By your own description, you are heterosexual male. Being a crossdresser does not change that. Again, I invite you to test out your (at best) naive assertion with real lesbians.
BTW, most of the lesbians whom I can count among personal acquaintances are not mean spirited, nasty or bitter, but I will wager that even they would scoff at yet another crossdresser trying call himself a lesbian.
Sherry, I do not think there is a defination for you. You are so far ahead of the rest of us in presentation and ideas. You set a standard that no one else has even come close to. And for one - I love it. There is no defining you
I can’t ever recall the “lesbian in a man’s body” statement ever being said or received with seriousness. Seems to be used lightheartedly for some giggles and laughs.
It's more honest than stating that you're a lesbian if you are a male, and more accurate than stating that you're a lesbian when you're actually a MTF TS who is, and perhaps always has been strictly attracted to GG females. Lesbians are GG females who are attracted to Females. Most people still don't think of MTF TS post op females, as the same as female at birth, GG females. Perhaps the whole identification issue comes down to growing up male, and thinking that 'a hole is a hole is a hole', and they're all the same, because to a lot of men, sex is defined to them as intercourse, and in that alone, perhaps there is not enough difference in their minds.
Perhaps think of it this way: You can take a Corvette and change all the bodywork including the interior to make it look just like a Ferrari Daytona, and without having an actual Ferrari Daytona to compare it to, you just might be able to fool people into thinking it's the genuine article; but under all the externals, where no one can see without getting really, really close and 'looking underneath the hood', it's still a Chevy.
In my younger days, I used to joke that I must be buysexual; that I must be so unnattractive to women, that I'd always have to buy it.I was Trisexual for a while,try anything (at least once)
Sophie
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 10-19-2018 at 10:01 PM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
First let me say that I don't care if anyone wants to use the male lesbian term or not. I have no skin in that game.
So, if you are a man, you can not be a lesbian.
If you are a man who thinks he is a woman, you can not be a lesbian
If you are a man who wants to be a woman, you can not be a lesbian
If you are a man living as a woman, fully integrated in your community, you can not be a lesbian.
Only a biological woman can be a lesbian.
Gender is irrelevant.
If men can't be lesbians and women can be lesbians then men can't be (or become) women. They can only pretend to be women.
Good luck trying to convince some of the members of that!
Getting back to the term “Transbian” I had an epiphany on the perfect use for the term. General consensus seems to be its questionable to use for “crossdressers attracted to women”. I say the term Transbian is perfect for describing crossdressers who are attracted to other crossdressers.
But, is it true if a frog had wings, he would not bump his ass every time he came iin for a landing? Wearing a skirt, of course!
Roxanne
As Sweet As I Can Ever Be
First there was the “Gay Community.”
Then it slowly morphed into LGB.
Slowly added the T.
Then somehow “Queer” turned from a 1980s insult hurled by grade school kids into the Q on LGBTQ.
Then we added the Intersexed and Androgynous.
I honestly don’t know what the + in LGBTQIA+ stands for.
So in spite of adding all of these labels, somehow the term “transbian” is offensive?
I get it—everyone is entitled to their own opinions and identities. So if someone wants to apply the label “transbian” to themselves, why should that bother me or anyone else? Just like some people used to use the term “queer” in a derogatory way, others today embrace it to describe themselves.
So stipulated, providing that we define "man" as one who identifies as male.
Now you are completely off the rails. To define us by our genetics, and nothing else, is absurd. It certainly flies in the face of virtually everything we have learned about gender identity. If you want to take such a position, logic would make your above-quoted statements true. Unfortunately, reality can be rather nuanced from time to time, and the reality is that the consensus of those most learned in the field renders your premise inaccurate, and thereby, your conclusion incorrect.If you are a man who thinks he is a woman, you can not be a lesbian
If you are a man who wants to be a woman, you can not be a lesbian
If you are a man living as a woman, fully integrated in your community, you can not be a lesbian.
Only a biological woman can be a lesbian.
Gender is irrelevant.
If men can't be lesbians and women can be lesbians then men can't be (or become) women. They can only pretend to be women.
Good luck trying to convince some of the members of that!
Your quote, not mine. All I did was present a logical continuation of YOUR view. A view I do not agree with.
When you ignored gender you insulted many members here.
Thank you for admitting your premise is inaccurate and your conclusion incorrect.
I want everyone to find the happiness they seek. I don't want to fight or argue with anyone but I will always speak up for and defend those who are told they can't.
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