Reaching and Overcoming Barriers in One's Presentation

[Patience]

Hi, Y'all.

I believe most (if not all) of us dream of pursuing our feminine presentation to its maximum potential and are working towards that goal to the best of our abilities with various degrees of success. Sometimes, due to internal or external factors, we are temporarily hindered from actively working towards that ideal and must compromise or accept things as they are.

After all that, my question is: When did the law of diminishing returns start kicking in for you? What, if anything, did you do to rise above that plateau?

Speaking for myself, my next challenge is mastering makeup and getting myself some hips to balance out my upper body. It's my project for next year.

Thank you for your replies.

[Micki_Finn]

I’m not sure how you’d define “diminishing returns” in this context?

[Patience]

When progress stops and one feels the need to try something else?

[Micki_Finn]

Well, one you master the 4 basics you’re good to go. The 4 basics being makeup, hair, shaping, and wardrobe. There are obvious physical obstacles that can’t be overcome without surgery or hormones.

I guess I just don’t see the process as open ended as your question implies. At a certain point you achieve a proper presentation and trying to make yourself “more womanly” would just cross the line into caricature.

[KimberlyJean]

Patience, I think you missed "understanding" barriers in your question. For me its not about gains, its about being a woman and knowing the things they know. Like the little things you learn from a lifetime of putting on makeup. Also what you think are your barriers might not be, I obsess over my shoulders and the way I move, but in reality women have broader shoulders than I do and some of the walk more manly than I do. So I constantly ask myself, "what are my tells."

[Tracii G]

I would add that projecting your opinions on the group and making assumptions isn't a good way to look at things.
We are all different in our goals and what we need to overcome in our dressing and daily lives.
Your goal is your goal so don't assume too much.
Diminished returns sounds like you have a defeatist outlook.
Dressing to me will always be something I do no matter what turns my life takes because I am trans and not a person who dresses as a hobby or for sexual gratification.

Spending your time wondering why and delving deep into you reasons for why you dress will only create more issues and doubt in your mind and more questions that have no answer. Just let it be and enjoy who you are.

[Lana Mae]

There are a few things you must realize! One: there are a lot of women out there who are not perfect! Two: Very few have an hourglass shape! Three: there are women whose hips are narrower than their shoulders! In addition: not all have perfect long hair and not all have large breasts! In other words, they are not perfect and neither are we! Just be you and remember "everyone" can have an off day and it is alright! Hugs Lana Mae

[Tracii G]

Lana Mae I think Patience is too focused on trying to be perfect which we all know no one is perfect.
Kind of setting herself up for a letdown when she goes out and things aren't perfect.
Years ago when I dressed it had to be perfect and if one thing didn't measure up I took it all off and just stayed home.
Once I figured out everything didn't have to be perfect going out was so easy.

[Majella St Gerard]

I would like to pull off a decent female voice, other than that I think I improve each time I dress, I learn from trial and error.

[Tracii G]

I agree the more you do something the better you get at it.

[Maid_Marion]

Yes, the proper word is "presentable," not perfection. That said, I'm busy hemming my clothes to fit better. Now, if only I could find the purple thread I just bought so I could hem my new PJs...

[Helen_Highwater]

Patience,

I think I know where you're coming from but I'd not describe it as the law of diminishing returns. Makeup is one of those things that requires practice. Get it right and the gains are invaluable. The addition of hip padding returns significant gains.

I'd replace plateau with steps. Okay sometimes the steps, the improvements are small. They are however improvements. Just keep plugging away, working to achieve ever better results and it will happen. As I say each step increase may get progressively smaller but that's no reason not to try!

[alwayshave]

Still on the left side of the bell curve, so I am not even considering diminishing returns.

[Jaymees22]

My limitations are that I'm not a woman and I'm pretty old. So I try to do the best I can with what I have. For me there is no plateau I just want to keep doing it!

[Patience]

Thank you, Jaymees22. That was sort of the answer I was expecting. Or dear, I seem to have been less clear than I thought.

Basically, the question is:

Do you have an obstacle?
What is it?
How did it get there?
Can you get over it? How?

Maybe "obstacle" is not the right word. Maybe "opportunity"?

BTW, I have no idea where this side-talk about "perfection" is coming from. I never used the word. Someone else here did.

Please do not project your opinions or make assumptions about me. Thank you.

And, of course, thank you to all those who replied so far.

[GracieRose]

Still on the left side of the bell curve, so I am not even considering diminishing returns.

Jamie, you underestimate yourself. If your picture is any indication, you are on your way up the steep part of the curve if you are still on the left side.

My limitations are that I'm not a woman and I'm pretty old. So I try to do the best I can with what I have. For me there is no plateau I just want to keep doing it!

Jaymee, we all do the best that we can with what we have to work with. Keep on keeping on, you're doing fine.

[Tracii G]

Patience you said maximum potential which would imply perfection to a degree would it not?
I'm not going to argue with you but just do the best with what you have has always been a more realistic approach.

[Beverley Sims]

I had a law of diminishing returns when I started a family, when that all passed things got back to normal.