Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 51 to 57 of 57

Thread: I gotta admit i’m a little scared

  1. #51
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    near Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,275
    I consider myself to be heterosexual, but to be honest, if I see an attractive woman these days, I'm more interested in what she is wearing and how, potentially her outfit might look on me. In other words, I would probably rather "be" her than "do" her.

    Then again, age and stage of life might have something to do with this as well. I grew up in an era when women still routinely wore skirts, dresses, heels, and pantyhose etc., took pride in their appearance, and seemed to revel in their femininity. I see nothing remotely appealing in the sloppy, grungy manner in which most women dress these days and in their trying to emulate "the boys" in their often promiscuous, hard-drinking, pick-up truck driving, body-piercing, and tattoo-enhanced behavior and presentations.

    Maybe mine is an out-dated notion of femininity and maybe in some ways I am objectifying women in saying this. If so, guilty as charged, but it's the way I am both wired and was socialized as, and I make no apologies for that.

    All of us have a "type" that we look for when it comes to being attracted to the opposite sex - especially from a visual standpoint, which is generally the first point of contact/awareness. Some people have a preference for blondes, some would not consider as a love interest a short person or one who has a prominent nose, and others are turned off by people who are excessively heavy etc., etc. My type happens to be the traditionally feminine woman, which is a species that is rapidly disappearing.

    All that said, if a label needs to be attached to me aside from "crossdresser" it would likely be "asexual" at this point in my life (I am a card-carrying "Boomer"). Wasn't always that way, but as my awareness (and comfort level) with my non-conventional gender identity/orientation evolved over the years, my purely carnal interest in today's women declined proportionally.

  2. #52
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    14,303
    Based upon my own personal experience your desire to wear women's clothing will not change you from being a heterosexual to a homosexual. I do agree there may be some degree of fantasy, but, fantasy is not reality. I think there are transgender women who have not yet realized who they are and may wear women's clothing before making the realization of who they need to be.

    I do think it is possible to find oneself totally consumed by cross dressing to the exclusion of social interaction. But, that is no different than a guy sitting on a couch 24/7 playing some video game. How many wives and girlfriends complain about their men ignoring them because they are consumed with their hobbies and toys? If you become totally absorbed in anything it can lead to lack of interest in other things.

    My personal experience with cross dressing is the opposite. It stroked my desire to engage with a wonderful woman, even though she is not a fan of my desire to wear women's clothing.

  3. #53
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Northern Georgia
    Posts
    515
    Good question. I wish we all knew what the future holds for us.

    Currently you crossdress because crossdressing makes you happy. It doesn't mean you will transform your sexual orientation to gay. It doesn't mean your crossdressing will transform your gender identification to transsexual. It doesn't mean that you won't be able to continue to enjoy sexual intimacy with females without crossdressing. However any of that is possible. If it happened once, it doesn't mean it will happen to you.

    Life is a journey and no one goes through life without ever changing. Your life will experience changes, but you will always be you. Accept yourself as a wonderful and beautiful person, and always be true to yourself.

  4. #54
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Madison AL
    Posts
    3,854
    I have yet to desire to be a woman. I have wonderd what sex feels like as a woman but I know that there can NEVER be a way that I can totally feel what that is like just like I can never feel child birth like a born woman woman dose. So I am happy to just wear the clothes etc.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    Remember this:
    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
    _________________________

  5. #55
    Aspiring Member WandaRae2009's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    662
    Been crossdressing for over 40 years. Still only interested sexually in women and no desire to transition to a woman full time. I do crossdress a lot more now than years ago.

  6. #56
    Struggler with CDing Pixie_94's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Costa Rica
    Posts
    203
    First: No, it doesn't have anything to do with your sexual orientation.
    Second: Do you do it just with "those" purposes and if then, compulsively?
    Lastly: Not exactly, even though, some people here say otherwise, I know their backgrounds were different.

  7. #57
    armchair philosopher ElianaFrozenflame's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    78
    I think the best advice I can offer to you, is to begin treating your desire to crossdress separately from your sexual turn on. If you only crossdress for the sexual turn on, and are concerned about how frequently you do it, then it is completely valid to consider you may be suffering from sex addiction. As Reine and docrobbysherry have pointed out, sexual "self-attraction" can lead to other things, that may inhibit your ability to be intimate with a SO. It might be worth seeking out a therapist who specializes in sex addiction.

    This is something I have wrestled with a lot in the past. And to be perfectly honest, something I still wrestle with, today ("Hello, my name is Eliana, I am a recovering sex addict"). But by separating crossdressing from my "sexual-addiction", I have found other joys in crossdressing that don't involve being turned on at all. This has actually enhanced my ability to crossdress. Feminine grooming, for instance, had not been something I spent much time on in the past, because crossdressing was all about the sexual turn on. Go to the other room, get all dolled up, rub one out, and the desire to crossdress diminishes, go back to drab mode, try and deal with feelings of guilt and addiction afterward. This had always made crossdressing to me something to be loathed. Don't get into self-loathing, deal with the addiction. Then Crossdressing, if you still have the desire for it, will become something more enjoyable, because you will feel more in control.

    -Eliana

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State