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Thread: I gotta admit i’m a little scared

  1. #26
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Well I wish I could see into the future also.

    Whatever will be will be, as Doris Day sang.....

    You are not likely to lose an interest in women and maybe one day you will want to be one.

    Don't worry, be happy.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  2. #27
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    There isnt some kind of league table you have to climb.Crossdressers aren't in the relegation spot,you won't move up the table and become something else,unless you want to.Just enjoy being you.

    Sophie
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

    ========================================

    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
    A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
    Facebook:Sophie Johnson

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member OCCarly's Avatar
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    I’ve been on hormones for 2.5 years, and high doses of estrogen for 18 months and I’m still interested in women.
    Carries a spray bottle of "pink fog" around with her in her purse at all times.

  4. #29
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    My interest in women has not changed over the years. While dressed it even increases.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  5. #30
    A Sweet Girl Roxanne Lanyon's Avatar
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    Oh my! Sometimes I want to say "I am normal". But then, what is normal, especially to gurls like us? There are times, (too many, I suppose) where I am caught wondering about the lay of the land on the other side of the river. Maybe I should take swimming lessons?

    Roxanne, a bit of Sweet Philosophy
    As Sweet As I Can Ever Be

  6. #31
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Crossdressing will not turn you gay any more than swimming will turn you into a fish.

    Maybe dressing is opening your mind to possibilities you hadn’t considered before. Whether you choose to act on them, that’s another story.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  7. #32
    dress to feel the energy Shely's Avatar
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    Well you never know for sure I guess. But as far as losing interest in woman, NO it won't as far as I can see. Will you want to make a sexual change, probably not, I sure as hell don't, but who knows.
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/

  8. #33
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Most of the crossdressers here will tell you that crossdressing won't do any of those things. They are, to one extent or another, happy with their sexuality. Note first that sexual preference is something quite apart from gender. Then note that there are gay and bisexual crossdressers here. I can't speak for them, but I had considered myself a crossdresser for most of my life (just recently completed six decades worth) and have never felt any sexual interest in men. That has not changed, despite a serious change in my gender identity.

    I recently realized (with professional help) that I am TS. I also realized that crossdressing did not "make me want to become a woman". I am a woman, have always been a woman. No, not outwardly, most of the time, but with guidance and no small amount of reflection, I realized that the signs were there all along. The dressing was just a way to cope with what I now understand as gender dysphoria. Oh, don't get me wrong. When I was younger, ok... much younger there was often (though not always) an erotic component to crossdressing, but then a lot of things are erotic at that age. Whether or not that is so for you is nothing to worry about. Again, lots of straight crossdressers here whose drive is primarily fetishistic.

    The best advice I can give is to accept who you are, now and always. It is unlikely in the extreme that you could stop crossdressing, even if you wanted to, so make peace with that. In the most unlikely event that other changes come, accept those as well. They will be as much a part of your nature as the color of your hair or eyes. Love yourself enough to accept and embrace them.

    Hugs,


    Kelly
    Last edited by Aunt Kelly; 10-29-2018 at 06:35 AM.

  9. #34
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TolerantCD View Post
    That my cross dressing hobby will become a problem. I’m heterosexual but if I keep cross dressing will my sexual interest in women disappear? Will only cross dressing turn me on? And can it one day make me want to become a woman?
    What no one seems to have touched on is that you're implying crossdressing turns you on. DocRobbySherry admits that it turns him/her on too. And it's turned me on ever since I can remember. Women also turn me on the same as they always did and men turn me on somewhat in other ways.

    Of course the answer is don't be afraid of whatever happens, because it's you. Which I believe has already been brought up by others. We all have been afraid of all kinds of things. But unreasonable fear tends to hold us back. Life is a journey right?
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  10. #35
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    I know this has been said 10 million times before, so I will make it 10 million and 1 gender and sex are unrelated. Your crossdressing may MAY develop further and you may become somewhat more on the Transgender spectrum. BUT putting on woman's clothing no matter how often you do will not change your underlying sexuality. If you find yourself attracted to guys when wearing a dress I cant see how changing that dress into guys pants and shirt would remove the attraction... if the act of dressing up turns you on, then its the fact that your turned on is the relevance... being turned on itself has zero impact on sexuality
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  11. #36
    Senior Member 5150 Girl's Avatar
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    As you become more comfortable admitting to yourself that you're a CDer, you may begin to accept things about your personality that you always knew were there, but you repressed.
    So will it "make you" do something else? No. However, it could be a key to unlock the gate to some repressed feelings.
    If you talk to people who have transitioned, they will most likely tell you they have always known that there was "something not right" you know?

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience View Post
    Crossdressing will not turn you gay any more than swimming will turn you into a fish.
    I think that sums it up in a nutshell
    Thanks Patience!

    Fran

  13. #38
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    Wearing women’s clothes will not make you anything that aren’t already. If you are heterosexual, so you shall remain. If you’re a deeply repressed gay or bi person, then so you shall remain, regardless of the clothing you wear.

    Those who who profess otherwise were without a doubt practicing denial...something human beings are remarkably talented at doing.
    If you wore a pair of cowboy boots would that give you the desire to ride a rank bull for 8 seconds? This would only happen if you wanted to become a rodeo cowboy! That being said, watch yourself next time you are wearing a big a$$ belt buckle! lol
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  14. #39
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    Tolerant, you will not become anything you weren't already, as others have said. Only you can find out for yourself, but I doubt your need to wear feminine clothes is a "hobby". It usually isn't.

    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    AGP is a condition where CD's can become sexually addicted to their female character. The result is they may lose interest in female partners. Past, present, or future.
    "Autogynephilia" is a myth invented by creepy old men* to claim that transwomen are either creepy old men or supergays trying to trap unknowing straight men. It's a pseudo-scientific gloss on hateful stereotypes, nothing more.

    And guess what? Despite being attracted to women, I have no interest in being the partner of anyone who expects male sexuality from me. That's not addiction, that's knowing what I want and need from a relationship and having standards. Others' needs will be different; act accordingly. And yes, I've had what I'm after before and will have it again.

    *This is not an attack on anyone who, though wrongly in my view, identifies with AGP. It absolutely is an attack on Blanchard, Bailey, useful idiot Lawrence, and the rest of that coterie. And because someone is practically guaranteed to try to rip my words out of context, I didn't call Lawrence a "creepy old man" -- she didn't invent the myth, just tagged along for some reason.
    Quote Originally Posted by MissDanielle View Post
    If there's one thing I hate more than anything in the world: it's living a lie. And clowns.

  15. #40
    Member Carolina's Avatar
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    Well I certainly believe that sexulaity and gender are different and may explain some of our confusion, at least mine. I’m attracted to women. I don’t think I’m attracted to men, but if Carolina is more and more present and some attraction does take place I would think it would be a suppressed part of me that is coming out, not that any dress or makeup would turn me bisexual.

    On the gender issue, I have to figure out where I am on the spectrum. I believe to be finding out I’m closer to the female side, suppressed for the longest time, but I still need to figure it out.

    So my 2 cents is that sexuality is defined probably at birth but in some cases it may be suppressed. Similarly gender is there at birth, most have it clear from the beginning, for others we start questioning where we are in the gender spectrum.

  16. #41
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Talk about "taking things out of context", Sabrina? I mention AGP, which if it's an imaginary disorder or not, I have it! I mentioned nothing else to do with Blanchard's discarded thesis. And, thank u for calling all of us T's who enjoy sex when dressed, "dirty old men"!

    Quote Originally Posted by SabrinaEmily View Post
    Tolerant, you will not become anything you weren't already, as others have said. Only you can find out for yourself, but I doubt your need to wear feminine clothes is a "hobby". It usually isn't.



    "Autogynephilia" is a myth invented by creepy old men* to claim that transwomen are either creepy old men or supergays trying to trap unknowing straight men. It's a pseudo-scientific gloss on hateful stereotypes, nothing more.

    And guess what? Despite being attracted to women, I have no interest in being the partner of anyone who expects male sexuality from me. That's not addiction, that's knowing what I want and need from a relationship and having standards. Others' needs will be different; act accordingly. And yes, I've had what I'm after before and will have it again.

    *This is not an attack on anyone who, though wrongly in my view, identifies with AGP. It absolutely is an attack on Blanchard, Bailey, useful idiot Lawrence, and the rest of that coterie. And because someone is practically guaranteed to try to rip my words out of context, I didn't call Lawrence a "creepy old man" -- she didn't invent the myth, just tagged along for some reason.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  17. #42
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    I have been cross dressing now for 50 years, I am totally at peace with my cross dressing and love to dress, I still very much adore my female partner and women in general and I have never felt the urge to be a woman full time

    As I say, I absolutely love to cross dress and I am lucky enough to be able to indulge my passion way more nowadays than I used to when I was young, cross dressing does not turn me on sexually, it makes me feel very happy and content but there is not a hint on sexual need comes from dressing

    We are all very different people with very different needs and my need is to dress in and enjoy lovely female clothes, the rest of my life goes on around that need, cross dressing is as much a part of me as breathing, I embrace that part of who I am

    Hope that helps

  18. #43
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    There are members of the forum who dress full time and it can be argued that they're not crossdressing, they're wearing their clothes of choice. They've chosen to live life presenting in a way which suits them.

    In my early days CD'ing yes there was the turn on element to it. Dressing was new, risque, a taste of forbidden fruit. As years passed I grew ever more comfortable with being dressed. It became second nature. Now it just feels the natural thing to do. It hasn't made me gay and I don't see it doing so anytime soon.

    As for what the future holds for you, no-one knows and the only way you'll find out is to go with the flow and see where it takes you. Further down the line you may discover you're one of those for whom going full time is what you want. It's just as likely you'll be one of us who dress either as the opportunity arises or anytime you feel like it depending upon your personal circumstance at the time.

    Don't fret it. Go along for the ride. Look at all the fun we have.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  19. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    And, thank u for calling all of us T's who enjoy sex when dressed, "dirty old men"!
    That would be awfully hateful and self-hating of me, if I had said that. But I didn't. I said it was what Bailey et al believe, and that it was wrong.
    Quote Originally Posted by MissDanielle View Post
    If there's one thing I hate more than anything in the world: it's living a lie. And clowns.

  20. #45
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    It really depends on how long you crossdress. If you crossdress into your 90's, your interest in women probably won't diminish, but your ability to do anything about it probably will.

  21. #46
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    When my oldest son was a young teenager, I saw evidence that he was looking at porn online. This wasn't just regular playboy type stuff, but I saw that he had quite a browsing history of orgy-type situations, BDSM, other fetish-type sex. I didn't mind his curiosity about sex (he was 14), but I explained to him that if he began to form a sexual preference or attraction, if you will, to situations that he was unlikely to encounter when he would eventually start having sex with teenage girls, he might be setting himself up to be disappointed. The porn would set him up to have unrealistic expectations of women if he got used to gratifying himself over situations he was unlikely to encounter in real life.

    Likewise, there was a massive study done in Italy some years back. The study was done to try to explain why there were so many young men who had difficulty performing with women during sex, when in the past men didn't begin experiencing erectile dysfunction until at least middle age. The study had about 2,000 subjects. The cause was the proliferation of porn since the advent of high speed streaming sites. There were tons of guys who had wired themselves to enjoy levels of sheer variety and artificial stimulation that no single female can replicate.

    You need to understand that sexual habits can and do form. Not orientation, but habits that can make it difficult for you to perform well with your wife in the future. When you experience pleasurable sensations, your brain releases dopamine which functions as the motivation or reward for the behavior. The more you engage in the behavior, the more your brain wires itself to respond to that specific behavior.

    I'm not saying anything against porn or crossdressing for self-gratification. But, I do suggest always maintaining a balance - be sure to continue having mutually enjoyable sex with your partner, to prevent the other things from embedding themselves too deeply in your psyche. I've read far too many stories here over the years from members who ultimately did prefer self-gratification with their fantasies over having sex with their wives.

    EDIT -
    You also mention the possibility of wanting to become a woman in the future (if you're not a woman now, then you won't "become" one in the future). If, however, you mean a possibility of wanting to have sex with men, yes it can happen. You may come to think this is what you want.

    If you are wondering about the possibility now, I'll venture to guess that some of your current fantasies involve you as an attractive woman to men? This is quite common here. But, there's a difference between having the man-in-your-fantasies enhance your sexual fantasy of being a woman, and an actual sexual attraction to the man. It might be something you'll want to experiment with. If the thought of having sex with a man is a turn-off right now though, it's an indication that you're not into men sexually, other than perhaps using them to enhance your fantasies.

    Sorry for so many "ifs". I don't know any of your details.
    Last edited by ReineD; 10-29-2018 at 02:32 AM.
    Reine

  22. #47
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    While I've fantasised about being a sexy sl*t for 40 years, the thought of touching another mans private part is still a total turn off.
    Maybe one day I will feel differently or maybe not.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  23. #48
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    You know what makes you gay? Being gay.

  24. #49
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    There are some very good replies to this post. All I can say is that indeed your cross dressing may become a problem but with friends family and lovers but not so much with yourself.
    Dressing will not change your sexual orientation but if you don't have a balanced sexual life and make a strong link between cross dressing and sexual pleasure then perhaps it will become the major sexual motivator.
    If you decide you want to undergo a sex change it is unlikely that cross dressing is the root cause. Deeper, stronger and more complex feelings need to be there first and you should be feeling those now.

    Don't worry. You will probably be like most people here and just cross dress for the shear enjoyment.

  25. #50
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    I have been cross-dressing for over 50 years and I still go GAGA over women and have no desire to become one.
    I've had at least four times when guys who knew I dressed who wanted to do me but I passed.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

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