Almost outed myself, but an unexpected good ending

[TheHiddenMe]

So, don't do what I did.

I was using Messenger on Facebook to swap messages with a GG friend of mine (who knows the Dee side of me). I texted her a picture of me dressed, and wanted to add some text.

So I clicked on the suggested link to "add to your story".

Bad move.

It actually send out the picture to all of my Facebook friends (around 100). I didn't realize that until I got a response back from a friend that I hadn't meant to send the message to.

Panic time. Try to delete message. Find link on Facebook where you can limit who gets posts. Frantically go through list clicking boxes of friends to exclude message. Hope for the best, but sleep very little that night (this all happened around midnight).

Woke up next morning, and no additional FB messages. My outlook on life improves. I figure out how to delete the picture.

It's been a week, and still nothing more. I think I dodged the bullet.

The one person who DID see the picture? She sent a reply with a gif of a woman in a flowing gown dancing down a set of stairs. She was a former girlfriend/FWB who helped me dress a couple of times about 30 years ago. We were friends on FB but I had not communicated with her that I still dress. Given the picture I sent, she realized I still did.

We ended up swapping a number of messages, and talked on the phone. I texted her a number of my pictures dressed, and emailed the stories from this board of my first time out locally and my train trip to Chicago. She was complimentary of my look, and my style of dressing. She even said that 30 years ago she thought I looked better in her clothes than she did.

So it appears I only outed myself to someone who already knew I was a CD. I got lucky.

So don't use the share a story feature on Facebook unless you really, really, want to.

[Beverley Sims]

I don't share nuttin' on Facebook, always seems too risky for me.

Pleased you had a good outcome tho'

[Fran-K]

A long time ago, on a network way in the deep and misty memories of old computer nerds... The rule of thumb was “don’t email(*) it if you don’t want it to show up on the front page of The New York Times the next day”...
anyway, sounds like all’s well that ends well... glad for that!

And who knows, maybe you’ve recreated a bit of a friendship with someone who “knows” and have a new confidante?

Fran


(*) this was pre Google/Facebook/Twitter/web/... email was it back then:-)

[alwayshave]

I rarely post on facebook and really check everything before I do. Facebook and google already know way more about me than they should.

[Tracy Irving]

I didn't even know they had that feature. Now I need to make sure not to look for it.

[Patience]

The number of FB friends that know I dress is growing, but I never post images related to my dressing and keep a tight control over the images of me dressed. I'd hate for someone to tag me en femme using my real name.

Glad your mistake had so little fallout. I’m sure you’ll be more cautious in future.

[CONSUELO]

There are so many traps on modern media that will reveal private things. You have to be very careful
A friend took a photo of me on his IPhone and then showed it to me. It was small so I touched the screen to enlarge it and instead a picture showed up that was labelled as being one year ago to the day. It was of his wife and she was nude and in a very suggestive pose. I kept my face still, got out of that page and found the picture of me, made a comment and passed the iPhone back to him. Luckily there was no indication of the picture from a year earlier and I have not mentioned it to friends or family.
I only mention it here in an anonymous way to tell people that there are a host of traps on our electronic devices that you can stumble into. Beware!

[ToniG]

Unless you are a full-time TG & Everybody knows abt you already--- Never Ever put ANY fem stuff on FB!! You Will be outed! Do yr msg here, or do pvt email-- but Not FB msgr!! Unless you don't care. Important lesson!! Toni G..

[Fran-K]

Stuff like iPhones are particularly bad because they are built/designed for sharing.
Pictures taken on them can often be uploaded to “the cloud” and possibly shared - you might have set up some share a long time ago, but it’s still there ... if a private selfie shows up in that shared album ...

I’ve taken some pictures of myself
I use a real dslr (no WiFi/etc) or an old iPhone that I’ve signed out of all my accounts/etc on AND has its networking turned off (actually, it’s no longer on my cell plan - so that backdoor is relatively shut)

Don’t know about google phones - I would assume things are similar.

Fran

There are so many traps on modern media that will reveal private things. You have to be very careful
A friend took a photo of me on his IPhone and then showed it to me. It was small so I touched the screen to enlarge it and instead a picture showed up that was labelled as being one year ago to the day. It was of his wife and she was nude and in a very suggestive pose. I kept my face still, got out of that page and found the picture of me, made a comment and passed the iPhone back to him. Luckily there was no indication of the picture from a year earlier and I have not mentioned it to friends or family.
I only mention it here in an anonymous way to tell people that there are a host of traps on our electronic devices that you can stumble into. Beware!

[Aunt Kelly]

So don't use the share a story feature on Facebook unless you really, really, want to.

This theme has been discussed a few times recently. Facebook and Google, to name just two, have have created one of the world's largest industries from us allowing them to track what we do and then sharing it with others, often for money, but sometimes (as is the case here) as just another "feature".

Facebook will never know about me until my transition is complete, or when it doesn't matter any more, whichever comes first.

[Stephanie47]

What's "Facebook?"

[Tracii G]

I used to be on a guitar forum years ago and shared a few guitar restorations I had done.
Used my photohosting site and transferred some pics.Little did I know that once I did that the people could view my whole catalog of stored pics and there were 2 of my girl pics in one folder.
Well one person had an issue and thought he was going to be cute and out me so he posted one of my girl pics with a long post about queer CDers and how disgusting they were and how he would beat a fag/CDer up if he ran into one.
He asked is that you fag boy?
I responded with OK so what if that is me and tell me where and when you want to do this ass kicking because I love to fight.
A few people posted blasting him for being an a hole and a homophobic moron.
Apparently a moderator got wind of the situation and locked the thread and banned the guy.
I was deluged with PMs of support so that was nice. I left that site eventually.
I did learn how to lock my photo hosting site so they can view just the pic posted.

[Fran in skirts]

I decided a long time ago that anything I posted on FB would be public no matter what I did to keep it private. SO when I started to wear skirts I put my picture up as my background photo and also as my avatar. So everyone that looks at my FB page will see my skirts. I decided that I am public with my skirt wearing and do not care who sees it.

Fran

This is the picture with two of my best friends. I am the one in the denim skirt. So everyone can see me skirted.
Attachment 297353

[Pumped]

I share very little of my "male" life on Facebook, not going to post the "other" side! I fail to see why people need to see what I ate for lunch everyday. I have a few friends that can't go to the bathroom without posting about it! (Well, maybe not that bad, but darned near!)

[Kandi Robbins]

Thank the good Lord I am the last person on the planet never to go on Facebook and will go to my grave never having been. Mark Zuckerberg is Satan! He stole the idea and then the soul of our society. Oops, sorry for the editorial comment.

[Pumped]

I remember when Orwell's 1984 came out. Everyone was talking about "big brother" watching us. Today we just confess all and post it on the internet!

[GracieRose]

Thank the good Lord I am the last person on the planet never to go on Facebook and will go to my grave never having been. Mark Zuckerberg is Satan! He stole the idea and then the soul of our society. Oops, sorry for the editorial comment.

Kandi, Tell us how you really feel.

[Kandi Robbins]

GracieRose, You made me laugh out loud (please note, I didn't LOL). THAT was funny!

[TheHiddenMe]

I understand the perils of our modern communications, but I like communicating with GG friends I've made and pictures are a part of that.

If I wanted zero risk, I wouldn't go out dressed at all. And I pretty much did that for my first 59 years. But YOLO, and I willing to take those risks, much like there are risks to posting here.

[Becky Blue]

To me its really quite simple to navigate your way through this 'new world' of social media. Unless you are 100% certain you know what clicking on a button or option is going to do, don't click on it... if your not 100% certain then don't.

[Wiccle]

Never go on the stupid website & have been sick of hearing about it for 14 years. Wish it would blow up.

[Davina2833]

Kandi,

Your not the last, Like you I've never been on FB or any other social media...
FYI'''this one does not count.

[ElianaFrozenflame]

I'm on Facebook, but it is quarantined. I only access it on a desktop computer. No phone apps, no messenger apps. It does not follow me around or know where I am at at any given time (except when I go there from my desktop).