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Thread: My HRT journal

  1. #1
    Member Kas's Avatar
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    My HRT journal

    I am creating this online journal to document my HRT journey, so that others members who may be considering or starting HRT themselves, can get an idea of what may be in store and so I can look back on my own journey when the time comes. Now of course every bodies journey will be different, but I think this could be helpful/insightful none-the-less.

    This is going to be a continually updated post where I will describe any mental or physical changes, along with any other feelings or concerns I may have or had. I will be happy to answer any general questions which you may have, but will not get into detailed discussion or arguments because that is not the point of what I’m trying to achieve. I also am very aware of the negative effects which HRT can induce so please, do not try to doctor me on any effects of HRT or that I’m going too fast, have I thought it through bla bla bla, because I don’t care and I don’t want to hear it. I’ve heard enough of that already...

    I will be updating this whenever I see fit, but I will TRY too update at least once a month. So without further ado, let’s get started.

    HRT start date: 17/10/2018, 1 day before my 29th birthday.
    Medication: Estrogen and T-blocker - low dose (Can’t go into more detail I’m sorry.)

    Entry 1. 28/10/2018

    Time on HRT: 1 week 5 days

    Physical changes: Barely anything, if anything at all as expected. Sometimes I think my legs and butt look more feminine but it could just be the choice of clothes. The skin on my face and the hair on my head seems smoother/softer too, but that might be unrelated. No noticeable breast development yet though sometimes my “boobs” tingle.

    Mental changes: I have notice several mental/emotional changes in the short time I’ve been on HRT, but these could possibly be placebo effects. I also found that simply the act of starting HRT itself had a huge impact on me, which I suppose was due to the fact that I had now accepted myself as trans and had actually started to do something about it.

    Good changes.

    I have lost interest in playing online games for some reason. I literally played 5hrs+ a day but since I started HRT, haven’t touched them once.
    I haven’t seemed to road-rage as hard as I usually do.
    It made me pierce my ears and start laser hair removal which I never really thought much about before.
    I don’t think I would care if I was outed now, where I used to be very scared of the idea.
    I have lost MOST of the sexual aspect of dressing up and now find myself wearing “normal” GG clothes, not the ****ty/sexy stuff I used to wear.
    I quit my job as it was too laboursome and am looking for something which would better suit a lady :P
    Starting HRT also inspired me to lose weight and I have already lost a good amount.

    Bad changes.

    I had crazy anxiety the first few days coming to grips with the fact I had started HRT but that has now disappeared.
    I feel really weird wearing guy clothes now, even though I present as a guy. I certainly don’t feel like a “man” anymore and feel very out of place around other men which was never an issue before. The problem for me at the moment is that because I am still presenting as male, I feel out of place around women too, kind of like I’m stuck half way. I’m sure this will get better as the hormones take effect and I start presenting as a woman more frequently, so I just have to deal with it for now.
    I’m having a bit of a hard time when I’m around my friends which I’ve known since school because I know one day soon, I am going to have to tell them what’s going on and even though I’m sure they will be supportive, it’s hard to act natural with it constantly on my mind.
    I cry a little more easily too, but I have always been very emotional so it’s not a big deal.

    Anyway that’s all I can think of for now. Will update when I can.

    Love, Kas.
    Last edited by Kas; 10-28-2018 at 07:21 AM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Kas, I find reading what you have to say is quite absorbing, it is about what I experienced when I was twenty, the first thing I noticed was a change in what I wanted to wear and what I was comfortable wearing. My mental outlook was emotional and I think because I was preoccupied with waiting for budding breasts my interests waned in other areas.

    Certainly male oriented thinking went out the door and I did have a battle when something was discussed and I would take feminine view.

    The budding breasts and aureolas came about three months into my course.

    I await your next submission, and all the best on your journey.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  3. #3
    Member Dorit's Avatar
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    Kas, this is a wonderful ideal! I would encourage you if you have not already done so to have some sort of "hard copy" or backup to your journal so you will not be completely dependent on this site. It might make interesting reading twenty years from now.

  4. #4
    Member Carolina's Avatar
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    Thank you Kas for sharing your experience through a journal the way you feel like doing. Iíll be waiting and eager for your next installments whenever and however you feel to post them.

    As you said, your personal experience may be different than that of others, but for those of us considering whether HRT is the way to go, your experience and comments are hugely appreciated.

    Thanks and good luck in your journey!!

  5. #5
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    Kas,

    I agree it would be good to have a copy of your journal in another place, and probably one that you update more frequently than monthly. I've found it to be good to sit and just think about things on a regular basis. Putting them in words, on a page, forces a bit more examination and organization. I'm not far in front of you on the hormone track but have been writing for a longer time and it's a good thing.

    I've been maintaining a journal of sorts for about 3 years now, but I'm not quite 2 months on hormones now. The changes for me have been decreased anxiety now that I've finally made the decision to continue down this path a little farther. The anxiety I have is over different things, and those are mostly things I have some control over in one way or another. Before I was stressing about stuff out of my pay grade. I'm mentioned before that before I started HT my journal entries were several paragraphs long every day. I just noticed I went about 4 days without an entry and it was fairly short. So even if there are no direct mental effects from the hormones themselves, the choice to take them has had an impact on my thinking. I haven't felt much in the way of emotional swings or emotions that are out of character from what I felt before. It turns out my E levels prior to getting my Rx were quite high already, so maybe the new E isn't that much of a change there.

    I was wearing comfortable and pretty much age appropriate clothes before, so not much of a change in style. I'm not out to everyone yet. I've set times for benchmarks at 3 and 6 months to see how everything is going before I take the next steps there. I think having a plan like that helps reduce the stress. As such I bounce back and forth from male to female clothing and I'm mostly comfortable either way these days. It's nice to feel a little liberated from having to meet some ideal presentation to match my self-image. I'm in between now and dress how I want, that may change one of these days, but for now I have the flexibility and will use it.

    Physically, I'm old and overweight and will probably remain like that unless my arthritis goes away and I forget how to cook. I do have tenderness in my breasts and think I'm getting a little more tissue there, but that could just as easily be my imagination and wishful thinking as actual physical development. Skin is a little dry, now that I think about it.

    Keep writing, be patient and brave. You are your best champion.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  6. #6
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    Hi Kas,
    Good luck on your journey. I started my journal too but I found myself not updating it since 5+ months into transition (i am few weeks shy of 1year) as I couldn't find any new info to add. Everything was kind the same. Yeah, brest still sensitiv, still growing but that about it. I think I am just bad and journaling - was never my thing.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Good idea, Kas! Will be reading whatever you wish to share on this! I have a journal from counseling in a notebook that is very helpful for me! I probably will keep one when I start HT as well! Best wishes on your journey! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  8. #8
    Senior Member Vanessa Grandy's Avatar
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    Hi Kas,
    Interesting thread.
    I'm in my sixth month with similarities with your experience so far.
    Of course is good to keep record of the changes with pics.
    Can I ask the way of your HRT? Pills, patches for estrogen, injections?...
    It's me, Vanessa, in the core just a sensitive woman with a strong male appearance...

    https://www.facebook.com/vanessa.grandy.161

    kisses...

  9. #9
    Member Kas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vanessa Grandy View Post
    Can I ask the way of your HRT? Pills, patches for estrogen, injections?...
    I am using pills. I know they're not the most efficient, but they are easy.

    I have always hated the idea of injectables, so will try to steer clear of that route, but who knows...

    I have heard patches can be a pain to use and theyre more expensive.

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