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Thread: Is MIAD as a term too all embracing

  1. #1
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Is MIAD as a term too all embracing

    Reading the other thread about dressing to pass vs MIADS prompted me to post a long thought view. I am not trying to be controversial either..

    I think we need a new term MIAD is too wide a definition... We need a term for a MIAD who wants to look like a man in a dress ie Intentional .. IMIAD and then one for the people who think they can never pass and refer to themselves as MIADS. Many of these people probably are not MIADS they just don't think they look femm enough and most are probably wrong, or have not tried dressing fully yet. So maybe we need a better term

    BTW Im not being frivolous there is a huge difference IMO between wanna be MIADS and wanna be more passable but have not tried yet or don't think they are...
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  2. #2
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
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    I think the term MAID is fine. Maybe because I know what it refers to. I don't see yet another label or sub-label helping anything, or anyone. Even though, to your average everyday muggle, we are all MAIDs, I don't put myself in that box. For the record, I don't see you in there either, Becky. I think the whole MAID thing is pretty cut and dry. I don't dress female but present male. When I dress female, I do everything I can to present my female side, as in wig/makeup. So, I see myself in no way a MAID. But that's just the way I see it.

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    OWPIDS.

    Obsession With Passing Is Downright Silly.

    The key word being OBSESSION.

    However it is OK to be obsessed abut it, IF one can read minds.

    I have numerous threads in the past..

    People will never agree to just one term/phrase/acronym that fits them, although there are many ACROS that many will like. The possibilities are endless

    Trouble with this Forum is that numerous members "do not like" anything less than a 100% effort and are quick to point that out every chance they get.

    An opinion that HELPS no one.

    I think MOHADD fits me best, not just in how I choose to attire myself (except when going to work) but in most aspects of my life.

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    Sounds as if to create a scale of gradations for judging a genetic male wearing women's clothing. On one extreme is the genetic male all dolled up en femme with proper makeup and hair and also emulating the gestures and walk of a woman. On the other end is a genetic male who is totally unshaven, maybe bald, and just wearing women's clothing. All I can image is the bearded lady at a carnival side show. I think the issue is coming down to "intent."

    Unfortunately many men are "blessed" with male features that are genetically produced. My face can be clean shaven with no beard shine for most of the day. No hair on the legs or underarms. Born that way. Basically genetically hairless for purposes of cross dressing with the motivation to appear as a woman. Can I use the word deceive? I would not be comfortable declaring myself as a man wearing female clothing. My inner thoughts and motivations are more than that. When I wear the clothing of a woman it is not to deceive the public. There is a 'feeling' that overcomes me and encourages some inner motivation to announce herself. I cannot explain it to others because it seems so foreign to those not afflicted by it.

    I have to assume a "Man in a Dress" is wearing the female garments for some other reason than wanting to appear as a woman. A bearded face with unshaven visible body skin strutting down the mall in heels. No makeup perhaps. Bald perhaps. Uncaring to public stares or ridicule?

    Over the years of reading threads and posts on this forum there is a problem. Many are totally consumed by some image in their minds as to what a woman is suppose to look like. Yes, there are few hirsute women out there. There are many wonderful women who do not fall on the judging scale at a ten. Maybe they are are a zero, Or a five. Overweight? Too skinny? Flat chested? Too short? Too tall? Not the perfect face, whatever that may be. So, how many of us are consumed by the idea of being a ten?

    I am six foot which is down from six foot two. I am 202 pounds this morning. Big bones. I an afflicted with male pattern genes. Women have always thought I was great looking. Ask my wife. When Stephanie appears...bursts forth for reasons known or unknown... she does not think of herself as a man in a dress. Unfortunately I do not make a womanly ten. I don't do the makeup. Most women don't do the makeup every day. So, unable to shed my male genetic physical profile I do look like a MIAD, but, my motivations and how I feel when wearing women's clothing is more than liking the fabric or colors or style.

    So, what is your motivation for wearing the clothes society deems should be wore by a woman? Is the MIAD with a beard in some way denying his inner woman because his ideal woman cannot be achieved? In need of therapy? Stuck on the unachievable image of a ten?
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 10-29-2018 at 10:44 AM. Reason: spelling

  5. #5
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I've often thot this, Becky. There r a few T's that r quite satisfied to throw on a dress and walk out the door. No; wig, makeup, heels, forms, etc., etc. They r INTENTIONAL MIADS.

    While I spend over an hour prepping every time before going out. I wear everything fem u could possibly put on to look as pretty and fem. Yet, no matter what I do because I never pass, (except on Halloween), I'm a MIAD!

    Maybe: Intentional MIAD, and unintentional MIAD?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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    Yeah, we need yet another label and subgroup to further fracture our community.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    Yes, there is a difference between MIADS who have given up on passing but would like to and those who don't care about passing. Just like other classifications, we have different motivations and goals. I don't know if I see it important enough to coin a new term, but I could be wrong.

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    Aspiring Member RachelPortugal's Avatar
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    MIAD is not really all embracing, what about those that present as MISS, man in short skirt, after all they are not wearing dresses. We could make up lots of acronymic titles for ourselves, but surely as we are all wearing clothes designed for the opposite gender, we are all crossdressers, just like it says at the top of the page.
    Rachel,

    As a crossdresser my personality has several facets. Therefore, I suppose I can be forgiven for being facetious.

  9. #9
    Happy Member Fran in skirts's Avatar
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    MIAD and MIAS are what? They are labels and they actually do nothing but cause what labels most labels do and that is create havoc among the people. They create hate and cause harm to people. I try not to use labels (but I sometimes do) they are for cans and bottles not for humans.

    We are humans and I think we should act like nice humans at that. We should all try to get along with each other and not add to the hate and animosity that is already out there. We all have opinions and they are ours, they may not be someone else's. We should all try to understand each other and behave accordingly. My opinions are MINE and you may agree or not, your opinions are YOURS and I may agree or not. BUT we should all agree to get along with each other.

    Just my

    Fran

  10. #10
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    I am a crossdresser. Plain and simple. Enough said...

  11. #11
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    Becky,
    I have to admit I'm really torn on this issue , I feel MIAD is sufficient to cover the people in that group .

    I was going to post my thoughts on this whole subject , while I agree with Wildaboutheels on the passing comment I personally could never go out as a MIAD . To me it still gives off so many confusing issues not only to the public but also to other members of the TG community . I must admit I find it hard the respect them possibly because I'm confused and don't understand where they are coming from . I'm not saying it's wrong but to be perfectly honest I wouldn't walk down the street with one or socialise with them apart from in a social group situation , I would still try and understand them but in the back of my mind they are expecting me to respect them for their appearance but not showing the same respect for me or CDers who put so much effort into their presentation on occasions .

    Many of us have been through hell and back to be able to walk out the door and look presentable as a woman , many of us are or maybe still on a journey, to be tagged a MIAD maybe soul destroying to some people . Again personally I have gone through a separation to achieve what I have so far , the comments and insults are still going round my head from my wife , I have proved her wrong by integrating in society as Teresa but I certainly wouldn't have done as a MIAD .
    Last edited by Teresa; 10-28-2018 at 05:40 PM.

  12. #12
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    I'm with Tracy,I'm a plain old Crossdresser,yes I do everything look as femme as I can,but I'm under no illusions I know i dont pass ,but I still don't feel MIAD is a description for me in any way at all.but fair play to those that feel its apt for them.We shouldn't get hung up on any labels anyway let's all just enjoy what we do

    Sophie
    Last edited by t-girlxsophie; 10-28-2018 at 05:48 PM.
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    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Becky, unless you are a MIAD or IMIAD or whatever, why not let them decide if they need more detailed defined labels. They have to live with the label that they choose, not you or us who do not define ourselves that way. I do know that many here might say that they may look like a "man in a dress). However, the MIAD acronym used in posts has been used almost exclusively by those that go out in a dress with short man hair and no wig and maybe even a beard like Phili does.

    Would you consider suggesting a new acronym for a TS who doesn't have bottom surgery because it helps you to better understand them or categorize them for your own benefit ant not the TS's benefit?

  14. #14
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I think we should let the term evolve, it will find it's own level of acceptance just as other labels have.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  15. #15
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    I've seen too much negative stuff said, too many times, early in common usage of the label (about the time I came back around here this past spring), and mostly have tuned out of and stayed away from any OP dealing with it.

    So, I must be way behind; isn't it describing any guy dressing in a dress (or anything similar.....I mean come on, do we need to have a version for skirt too?) with no other attempt to present as female?
    Uhhh, you know, kinda something like...……...a man in a dress?

    A beard and mustache, tennis shoes, body hair...………….a human male wearing a dress. Simple.

    And I know I must be wrong, because I have indeed seen people here using the term to 'describe' or to put it another way, ridicule people for not looking passable enough when fully dressed. Which begs the obvious question, is it not 'just' a man in a dress, not trying to look anything like a woman (passable or not) or is it a use as you want term that can be used as an insult?.....or ahem, to provide critical feedback.

    I'm gonna leave it there because i'm about to pop the cork on my rant about just how dumb the term crossdresser is in comparison.

    Cass

  16. #16
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    When I first suggested "MIAD" it was to describe myself, to distinguished me from most members here who go to great lengths to present themselves as women and trying to lose masculine appearance altogether.

    The term seems to have gained a general acceptance with a variety of interpretations as to what it means.

    My interpretation: I enjoy wearing items normally associated with women but I have no desire to present as a woman. What I wear daily I do not consider women's clothes, they are mine and I spend all my time in them. When I must go out I change my skirt for trousers but underwear stays the same, I have no feminine traits, mannerisms etc.

    I dress for myself bur would not mind meeting with others if I knew them to be like me.

    I know there are others here who call themselves MIADs but use heels, bras, wigs etc. What you use or not use is up to you and if you want to call yourself a MIAD then go ahead and do it and pay no attention to others criticising you.
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  17. #17
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    I want to see fewer labels, not more. Ultimately, I just want to be known by just my name, which is a male name because I'm not trying to be, or pass as, a woman. I dont want this conversation "Hi, Z, how's the crossdresser game?". I want "Hi, Z, nice dress" and then on to the next subject.

  18. #18
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
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    I use the term MIAD generously as the positive all-inclusive term for anyone who is not trying to look like a female when wearing feminine clothes or using makeup, etc. As has been said, to be seen as a MIAD is also held up as a negative experience by those who don't want to see traces of their maleness.

    As Salerba and Wild, and others have said, it is perfectly possible for a male as well not to feel or want to feel anything feminine, and just devote oneself to enjoying selected aspects of culturally assigned 'feminine' grooming.

    I feel compassion for anyone who feels they are expected to really try to look like a woman to be allowed to wear dresses and feel feminine.

    I feel happy for anyone who just loves to look like a woman. I look like a type of woman - to myself. I am sad that no one else can see that. But I feel every womanly thing with respect to social role, emotional freedom/labor, feminine side of relationship, sexuality, and seeing myself beautiful whether anyone else agrees or not.

    I feel sad that Teresa and so many others would not walk down the street with me when GGs have no issue with it. I am fun to be with! And I am sure that no one will think less of you- quite the opposite. In fact, you would probably be seen as the expert beautiful friend of the ugly duckling. But then again, since I am not embarrassed, they might just think- "What a pair. You go, girls! "
    We are all beautiful...!

  19. #19
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    I'm fine with the term MIAD, and regardless however cross dressers may arrive at being a MIAD, even by many varied routes, in my book, that doesn't make them different things. Actually. I'm probably as much with those who say that we don't need any more labels than cross dresser as that is the one thing which defines us all.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    ...I must admit I find it hard the respect them possibly because I'm confused and don't understand where they are coming from . I'm not saying it's wrong but to be perfectly honest I wouldn't walk down the street with one or socialise with them apart from in a social group situation , I would still try and understand them but in the back of my mind they are expecting me to respect them for their appearance but not showing the same respect for me or CDers who put so much effort into their presentation on occasions.
    This reply though stuck out to me as being a different reply and I have to say that it may be a little sad. Sad, because it seems to demonstrate a lack of acceptance of the diversity in and among cross dressers. For we are a very diverse group, but have one thing in common, we wear ladies clothes.

    I would put, at the pinnacle of MIADDOM, (see I've coined yet another new word ), Conchita Wurst from Austria ( https://eurovision.tv/participant/conchita-wurst ) and I would say that in every aspect of their presentation Conchita is stunning. In case you don't look at the link or it doesn't work for you Conchita's motto is "Be the best version of yourself rather than a bad copy of someone else!" Now, personally I wouldn't present as Conchita in public but I'm very happy that they do and I would be proud to walk down the street and to socialise which Conchita and all those who Conchita inspires and empowers. If Conchita confuses people by pushing the boundaries, by acting in ways that don't conform, then that's all the better, because in doing so it makes it easier for others to follow. To not respect something because you don't understand it, is to demonstrate a mindset that is closed to being challenged. To say that a MIAD does not respect other cross dressers who fully transform is, well, it's to say something which can't be said because, none of us can ever know what is going on in someone else's head.

    I've said it a few times on these boards, that in seeking acceptance from society as a whole, how can we begin to get that, if we can't accept the diversity of cross dressers that we have here? And you know, I think that if society can accept people like Conchita and Phili and all the other MIADs on these boards, then, that actually makes it much easier for those who pass and those who blend.

    So, to sum up, yes, if you're a MIAD be proud, and if you not a MIAD then be proud for the MIADs among us, and as for new labels and sub-teams, no we don't really need any more of them, let's all just get along however we are, happy in our dresses.
    Last edited by Charlotte7; 10-29-2018 at 04:03 AM.

  20. #20
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    Charlotte,
    As I said it is my pesonal view , I also pointed out how much has gone into achieving what I have so far . In the back of mind was the comment made by a MIAD about the reaction a good friend acting as a wingman saw , it wasn't good . The point I can't understand is why put yourself through that , there is no end game with dressing in that way . I realise I'm looking at it from more of a transition point of view . I also realise I got into a heated debate about it not being about the clothes , I accept they are only part of the equation but to me a totally necessary one .

    The other point is you are reading my comments from the situation of not being totally out , it does change the perspective when you do so . Finding the balance to integrate and not get a reaction ( I'm still not going to use the word PASS !) is a learning curve .

    Phili ,
    I do apologise to you , it's nothing personal , as you say I might eat my words after meeting you but at the moment going full time is working out much better than I expected and perhaps I'm being slightly guarded over defending something that has been so hard fought for .

    I also realise you have some personal battles going on and I hope you can resolve them sometime soon , I still have it in the back of my mind that given the chance to fully dress and losing the facial hair so you can see the full effect of makeup you would totally embrace it and not look back . I respect your reasons given in the past for not doing so .
    Last edited by Teresa; 10-29-2018 at 05:26 AM.

  21. #21
    A Sweet Girl Roxanne Lanyon's Avatar
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    What is "MIAD"? Is this another of the many, many terms floating around today to confuse us? Me? I am a girl. I love being a girl! It feels so good. I want to be treated, loved, as a girl. Now, what does that make me? Is there a "name" for me? I am Roxanne Lanyon
    As Sweet As I Can Ever Be

  22. #22
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
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    "HUGO"

    My appearance could be seen in a thousand different ways in one day only, and the interpretations could be much more numerous.

    JUST SAYING! Some of us slide the Gender scale as well as the Passability Scale at any one given time!

    label non required!

    Stacy!
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  23. #23
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    Either way we are All men in dresses

  24. #24
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    Teresa, do you not accept that there is a whole gender spectrum out there and we're all trying to find a place where we are happy? You've found a place where you're happy, Conchita Wurst has found a place where they are happy, even me, yes I've found a place where I'm happy. What we have to do in this world, and you're a very good example of this, is find our own corner of the planet, our own place where we can be who we really are and who we really want to be. And the important thing in this, is what matters to us as individuals, not others, but ourselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    I'm not saying it's wrong but to be perfectly honest I wouldn't walk down the street with one or socialise with them apart from in a social group situation
    Now bearing in mind what I've said above, can you see that your statement above might be seen in a negative light by those who are happy to wander the streets in dresses and sporting a beard? Do you not think that it shows just a tiny bit of prejudice and lack of acceptance? Live and let live.

    As others have said, what's important is that we all like to put on a dress, let's celebrate that.
    Last edited by Charlotte7; 10-29-2018 at 09:37 AM.

  25. #25
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    Charlotte,
    I've given this some thought and instead of hijacking Becky's thread I'll start a newe one to explain the point yopu make .

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