Is cross dressing really just sexual gratification?

[Bobbi46]

I don't think so maybe for some as they start out on their journey of discovery but for the most part it is an inner feeling of want and need to be as feminine as possible and to be happy doing that. sexual gratification never came into the equation for me, for me it was a case of "The Eagle has landed" I found where I was meant to be.

[GretchenM]

I am very well versed in the technical literature regarding transgenderism and transexualism, but I am no expert. According to the literature (peer reviewed papers in journals) it is fairly common in the early years of the development of a transgender behavior, personality and identity for sexual gratification from crossdressing being a part of it. However, this is not true of everyone. As the person matures that usually declines to zero or nearly so. It appears that crossdressing can stimulate the sex drive part of the brain stem as well as other sex related structures that are associated with those portions of our brain that creates our sense of identity and gender. That can be sexually exciting. The taboo factor also plays into this psychology. For a few it continues and usually in those who do not actually fit the transgender profile. In spite of the general pattern found in the population, that pattern is composed of a wide range of behaviors. The general pattern is an average of a highly variable, individualized population. Averages are most meaningful when combined with the variance in the population from which the average is derived. Low variance can produce the same average as high variance. Thus the diversity in the population is obscured by the use of only the average.

I think the responses here tend to reflect what the science has found. Transvestite really only means dressing in the clothes of the opposite gender, but the social interpretations was what got the traction. Calling a crossdresser or transgender person who dresses a transvestite is socially about the same as calling a transwoman a tranny. It is usually viewed as a derogatory expression. Not polite, offensive and disrespectful. But the main point is that the responses here pretty closely reflect what the science has found to be the reality - it varies with the individual, but the sexual element is not unusual or worrisome unless it becomes an addiction.

[Teresa]

Mermaiden,
Transvetsite is just the act of crossdressing they are the same thing , it just means literally to cross clothes of the opposite gender. No mention of a sexual component . The act of crossdressing could be motivated by sexual needs , as it was in my case but in the early days there was no thought or connections with the transgender issue . There is no connection in a sexual way . A TG more likely has a degree of GD but that is not related to sexual needs but to gender alignment .

All of of us the TG spectrum are crossdressers , because it's the simple act of wearing items of clothing from the opposite gender . The line is then drawn when someone transitions , they are then wearing clothes of their reassigned gender .

I must admit now I dress and go out full time it doesn't feel like crossdressing , as Eddie Izzard said , "they are my clothes !"

Going back the podcast it's again the case of the misuse of labels , I agree the person concerned because of their history should have known better

[Ressie]

I'm a transvestite. I might as well just admit that I dress primarily for sexual reasons. But I seem to be in the minority here.

I think the OP should have given the name of the person in the podcast or some reference to the podcast. There are different types of psychology and much has changed in the last 50 years. Without a reference this is just hearsay.

[Kas]

Transvetsite is just the act of crossdressing they are the same thing , it just means literally to cross clothes of the opposite gender.

Teresa,

This is wrong. Transvestisism is different than crossdressing.

"Magnus Hirschfeld coined the word transvestite in 1910 (from Latin trans-, "across, over" and vestitus, "dressed") to refer to the sexual interest in cross-dressing."

[Lacey New]

I think the answer depends completely upon the person answering. For some, yes, cross dressing leads to sexual gratification. I confess, that’s how I started many years ago and it still provides that pleasure from time to time. For others, it may be more of a comfortable identity as opposed to being sexual or erotic. All depends in the person.

[Helen_Highwater]

Elana,

The text you quote;

We should accept that the adult cross-dresser is no different. He too wants to inhabit the experiences of a group of people he is keen on. He seeks to know what it would be like to cross his legs in a tight cocktail dress, to walk across a marble floor in a pair of heels, to feel a grey cotton bra strap encasing his back, to put a little silver bracelet around his wrist, to feel the breeze on his bare waxed arms and to stroke his smooth long legs in the bath. He might extend to imagining what it would be like to kiss a man as a woman, to feel bristles that are normally his on lips as soft as those of the lovers he has known. Admiring himself in the mirror in a pair of black tights, the cross dresser samples the intense, fascinating satisfaction of being simultaneously himself and the object of his desire.

I think there's much to be said for those words as observations. many do dream and aspire to experience those things. I think the comparison;

A five-year-old boy living in a suburb of Copenhagen who develops an interest in the lifestyle and attitudes of the cow herders of the Arizona plains would be heartily encouraged to dress up in a hat, jeans and waistcoat and aim his pistol at an imaginary Indian chief – so as to assuage his desire to get a little closer to the subject of his fascination.

fails to consider the imaginings of a child being equal to the emotions of more mature individuals.

Where I differ from the author is in the conclusions. One big difference from that is many achieve those desires unlike the schoolboy with a toy pistol. One is a world of pure imagination. The other can be a deeply felt desire to express feelings that have been with them for years, even from the time when they played with toy pistols. That said, I will admit there's a certain resonance to the sentence; "the cross dresser samples the intense, fascinating satisfaction of being simultaneously himself and the object of his desire.

[Taylor186]

Anyone have a link to the podcast?

[Stacy Darling]

Crossdressing and sexual gratification are more at one than many see!

I'm pleasing myself by Dressing! , Yet not doing it for the sexual pleasure! ; The sexual pleasure may then arise though?

Stacy!

[Teresa]

Mermaiden,
Transvetsite is just the act of crossdressing they are the same thing , it just means literally to cross clothes of the opposite gender. No mention of a sexual component . The act of crossdressing could be motivated by sexual needs , as it was in my case but in the early days there was no thought or connections with the transgender issue . There is no connection in a sexual way . A TG more likely has a degree of GD but that is not related to sexual needs but to gender alignment .

All of of us the TG spectrum are crossdressers , because it's the simple act of wearing items of clothing from the opposite gender . The line is then drawn when someone transitions , they are then wearing clothes of their reassigned gender .

I must admit now I dress and go out full time it doesn't feel like crossdressing , as Eddie Izzard said , "they are my clothes !"

Going back the podcast it's again the case of the misuse of labels , I agree the person concerned because of their history should have known better

[Micki_Finn]

I’m not sure what issue is being taken with this person. The use of the word Transvestite does indeed historically imply a sexual motive, which is why they are cautioning against its use, correctly implying that many or most of us don’t have a sexual motive for our dressing.
What am I missing. Sounds like this got misinterpreted.

This. The person seemed to be agreeing with you. What’s the problem? Unless you use the term Transvestite and feel that her definition doesn’t apply to you?

[ElianaFrozenflame]

Hi Helen,

I think there's much to be said for those words as observations. many do dream and aspire to experience those things. I think the comparison;

A five-year-old boy living in a suburb of Copenhagen who develops an interest in the lifestyle and attitudes of the cow herders of the Arizona plains would be heartily encouraged to dress up in a hat, jeans and waistcoat and aim his pistol at an imaginary Indian chief – so as to assuage his desire to get a little closer to the subject of his fascination.

fails to consider the imaginings of a child being equal to the emotions of more mature individuals.

Yes it does, but it resonates with me. The first time I crossdressed, was when I was 4 (or maybe even at 3). I was never sexually abused, nor was the crossdressing something compulsed upon me. There was a neighbor boy, pretty close to my age, who had many older sisters. There was a cardboard box full of frilly dresses in his basement, and I went over to play dressup with the neighbor boy and his sisters. It had felt so I right, I snuck in my parent's bedroom and snatched one of my mother's dresses. I was hooked.

Only after hitting puberty did I (accidently) find sexual pleasure wearing the clothes. I am sure that played a role in reinforcing my earlier fascination with crossdressing at later ages. How much, seems really difficult, if not impossible to say.

Like I had mentioned before, I think "The Book of Life" from where the original quote came from is over-sexed (there is another page in that book that compares masturbation with art). So I didn't care for nearly half of the text on crossdressing. If that page drew any conclusions at all, they flew by me, the part I quoted is the only part that caught my attention.

- Eliana

[t-girlxsophie]

When they eye up the grant offered,everyone suddenly becomes an expert.

Sophie

[Tracii G]

Andrea what I stated you may have missed "not all people that call themselves scientists ARE scientists".
I was not calling ALL scientists lazy Federal grant money grabbing people.
You have to admit the Federal government has some grant money that goes to some really sketchy studies.
One close friend of mine that is a climatologist and he gets offers all the time which he doesn't feel are worthy and more often than not the dept wanting the statistics says his findings need to match their model. So what does that tell you?
He works for an energy company BTW and is a real scientist.

[Gillian Gigs]

People evolve over the years, hopefully in character, as well as in growing old. For myself, I started out in the sexual gratification mode and it has evolved into something different today. That was good for me. One of the many problems with people is that they tend to put people into boxes and never let them out of that box. People change and when someone leaves someone in "the box", they never see the changes that happen to the person. If we as a particular group have a difficult time letting people get out of their boxes, then what hope is there for society as a whole? Another problem is that people tend to think that everyone is thinking just like they do. I have a hard enough time trying to understand me, let alone others. Why do I crossdress now, well I am still figuring that one out. It would make great sense to not to do it from community acceptance point of view, but why should I conform to something I am not sure I necessarily believe in. Conformity isn't all that it is cracked up to be. If I have a difficult time understanding me, then how can you expect me to understand someone who wants to go the whole nine yards. But that is not the point! I accept you, so please accept me. Where ever you started out is one thing, where you end up may be another. Self acceptance and acceptance from within this group should be the goal, whether it happens within society is another question.

[Stephanie47]

What the heck is a "transgender scientist?" And a linguist too boot! I don't know the age of this scientist. I've started my eighth decade on this planet. Back in the day (1950's and 1960's) the only term I heard describing a male who wore women's clothing was 'transvestite.' A male who transformed surgically to a female was a 'transsexual.' Christine Jorgensen comes to mind. I do not recall ever hearing the word 'transgender' back then or into the 1970's or 1980's. I do not recall anything at all back then ascribing sexual gratification to the word 'transvestite.' I do not hear 'transvestite' being thrown around these days. The word seems to have fallen out of favor for describing men who wear women's clothing. 'Cross dresser' seems to be the descriptive word. Not having heard the pod cast I guess the 'scientist' may have elaborated on choice of words.

Anyway, yes, in my teen years there was some degree of self pleasing done wearing women's clothing. And, there was a lot more self gratification not wearing women's clothing. From what I have read on the issue of male self gratification men still indulgence in self gratification even if they have a sexual partner. Of course I had to "Google" the subject and did find an internet article indicating a MtF cross dresser can hide his 'junk' more easily after he masturbates. Duh!

Anyway, personally my innate desire to emulate a woman has nothing to do with sexual gratification. I also think the 'scientist' possibly arrived at her conclusions using faulty methodology. Who did she ask to arrive at such a conclusion?

[Anne E]

I haven’t cross dressed in a week or so because I’ve been feeling under the weather and I just didn’t feel pretty. But today I just wanted to. Oh, this feels so good. I look like ick, with bags under my eyes and stubble on my boobs, but I’m wearing my heels and my little black dress and it feels right. It feels right to be tucked away and filling out my clothes. Sliding on my pantyhose over my smooth legs feels right and the tug of my bra straps feels right and it feels right to smile with lipstick on. I’m not going anywhere in this dress and I don’t feel sexual at all, but I feel better and when I look in the mirror I see what I look like when somebody is being kind to me. I see me and I see kindness.

Anne

[Patience]

No.

I wanted my answer to be a plain "no", but this forum's software requires a minimum of 8 characters, so here we are. Sorry to have forced you to read this.

[GracieRose]

Interesting discussion.

I never thought that the term 'transgender' referenced a component of sexual gratification. I always thought of the literal translation from Latin.
As far as the question in the OP headline. At 5 years old, when I first realized that I wanted to do the things that girls got to do, including, and especially, wearing the pretty things, I had no clue about sex, much less gratification.

Ellanna,
Your quote in post 8 is certainly interesting. Some food for thought. My first reaction is that I started this journey wanting to do the things that girls did, not just wearing the clothes. But that could be interpreted as wanting to "to inhabit the experiences of a group of people he is keen on." Maybe there is something there. However, that doesn't explain why it just feels right when I am dressed and doesn't feel right when I'm in drab. Or why when I look in the mirror in drab, I feel that I'm looking at someone else, but when I'm dressed, I see a match to how I feel inside. I'll have to think about this a little more. That's enough self-psychoanalysis for now.

[Rachel05]

Definitely nothing to do with sexual gratification for me, when I was in my early teens I tried to convince myself that was what it was all about because I was confused by who I was and sadly there was no forums back in them days, but it has never been about that

I still don't understand what I crossdress but neither do I need to, I accepted long ago it was a part of who I am and I love cross dressing, I love my nice female clothes and how they make me feel

I am perfectly happy being the me that I am, which is a very different me to the me when I started cross dressing 50 years ago, although back in them days I hadn't even heard the phrase cross dressing

[Devi SM]

Today, after 6 months on HRT, to dress has nothing to do with sexuality but not always was in that way.
Now I understand that in my case, the search for a femenine identity, to dress wasn't enough and sexual was a huge component, no just own sexual gratification but wit men.
Now in transition, my gender has no relation with my sexual activity.
I wonder how many crossdressers could live the same experience as me.
It can't be a rule because the different colors in a rainbow represent very well the variety of human beings in sexual preferences and gender identities.

[stephNE]

For me it has nothing to do with sexual gratification. I first dressed when I was about 5. It has always been about an inner feeling that as a male, things weren't right. But as a woman, I have a feeling of inner peace, relaxed, and less stress. One of you mentioned dressing as an escape. Yes, I feel that too. I know that if I had been born a woman, I would be a happier person. My wife would agree. She recently told me that she wasn't surprised that so many others accept me as a woman, but that she is surprise how comfortable I am when we are out and about.

[Confucius]

To say crossdressing is just about sexual gratification is the same as calling it a fetish.
I know there are sexual elements in crossdressing. However, I was crossdressing as a 3 yr old, and thought it was only fun. It had nothing to do with sexual arousal then. Crossdressing during puberty was sexually arousing, but I also considered the arousal part as unwanted. Even during puberty I made a conscious effort not to get aroused. I wanted to look like a pretty girl because I thought girls were wonderful, and for a few moments I could imagine being a girl.
As I've grown older crossdressing is simply about reducing stress and being happy.

[Shawna]

Perhaps, not a direct answer to the question, but ferrets out deeper discussion:


From "The Book of Life" https://www.theschooloflife.com/theb...ross-dressing/

Personally, I think "The Book of Life" is over-sexed, but the observations here made about crossdressing, I found to be rather profound.

I can certainly relate to a lot of what was stated here...thank you for sharing!

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

... I’m not going anywhere in this dress and I don’t feel sexual at all, but I feel better and when I look in the mirror I see what I look like when somebody is being kind to me. I see me and I see kindness.

Anne

Beautiful sentiment, Anne!

[Laurie A]

(As I have always thought of it) Crossdressing for sexual gratification is transvestic fetishism. What I don't understand is why this should be considered a psychiatric disorder, or (sometimes) dismissed by others who exist along the lgbtq spectrum. Its just a behavior, that sometimes is a precursor, and sometimes not. Some folks evolve past it and some don't.

For me it was the beginning of a journey. I've moved past it, but with no regrets or shame.

There are no one size fits all labels, which is partly why I think labels they are troubling.

We're all wonderful curious, strange, strong and amazing people let's just breathe, relax and enjoy each other.