Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 55

Thread: Could it be that my wife is more observant and discerning than I imagined?

  1. #1
    Junior Member Shawna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    41

    Could it be that my wife is more observant and discerning than I imagined?

    As I've briefly shared, my wife doesn't know about the "Shawna" persona inside me. Or at least that's what I believed. Recently, (because of my drastic weight-loss over the past year as I work to really feminize my look) I was complaining about how my sweat pants were uncomfortably big and that I hated the draw-string variety anyway. She responded by giving me a pair of her workout pants saying, "I don't wear these anymore - why don't you take them?" I responded: "Aren't they women's pants?" To which she replied, "Does it matter? They're black and no one will be able to tell the difference!"

    SCORE! They DO fit different with no pockets and no draw string - and I love them!

    Next (and I posted this in another topic) - a couple of weeks ago, she advised me to start using a specific body butter for dry skin and overall skin care. Coincidence? Perhaps. Discerning that I have a softer side than most know about? More probable. After more than 20-years of marriage, it seems impossible that she hasn't picked up on a few tell-tale signs. We'll see where this leads, but I'm encouraged and hope that in the near future (although slow and steady) I can finally share all of me with her.
    "Be the kind of woman that makes other women want to be you." -Topaz

  2. #2
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    7,527
    Shawna, I would not read to much into it. The workout pants and body butter are not a dress or a teddy.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  3. #3
    Junior Member Shawna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    41
    Jamie, you're right of course...perhaps just wishful thinking on my part...but time will tell - and if nothing else - it leads me to see that perhaps I can deliberately begin to drop certain hints of my true nature.
    "Be the kind of woman that makes other women want to be you." -Topaz

  4. #4
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Location
    United States, East Coast
    Posts
    3,212
    I find that our loved ones don't know us as well as think, but usually better than we'd imagine!

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    10,840
    It is remarkable to me that so many husbands think their wives are oblivious to what they do. Not saying she knows, but.............

  6. #6
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    The lingerie dept.
    Posts
    1,834
    You're on safe ground for now. Advance carefully. They set traps you know.
    I used to have a short attention spa

  7. #7
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    5,310
    wifes always know more than you may think. Some will let you know right away, others will keep it to themself and a very rare few will openly accept. Time will tell, but don;t be too suprised or over think it.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Almost the Great White North...
    Posts
    20,488
    Like others have said, don't read too much into it.It would be great if she was being coy, and simply giving you discrete encouragement. Even though she likely is more observant than you think, but those comments are pretty meaningless.

    A more important question is how will she react/respond if and when she discovers Shawna. Are you willing to leave that to chance?

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  9. #9
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    Greater Houston
    Posts
    2,168
    Do not drop hints to "see how it goes". If she does not know now, she will eventually figure it out. That she comes to know about your nature may go badly, but it will be worse if she discovers your deception on her own. It will be worse still the longer that deception continues. But you know her better than anyone here. It may be that she is understanding and accepting. Let us hope so.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Posts
    36,659
    Hi Shawna , Go easy and be sure to read line #4 in my signature. >Orchid ..oo..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  11. #11
    dress to feel the energy Shely's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    NE
    Posts
    974
    sounds like a cat and mouse game to me. Wives always know more that we think they know, and seldom let on that they know more. IMHO!
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/

  12. #12
    Member KatrinaK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    443
    Shawna,

    You probably don’t want to hear this, but:

    1) she will find out. It’s a given
    2) how she finds out will likely dictate the course of the rest of your marriage. You can either have that conversation eventually as a forthcoming honest husband or from a defensive position where you’ll need to address both this issue and 20 years of deception in tandem.

    Tread carefully.

  13. #13
    Junior Member Shawna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    41
    Thank you and hugs to all my sisters for your advice. There is certainly a lot for me to think about, and I'm not taking any of it lightly.
    "Be the kind of woman that makes other women want to be you." -Topaz

  14. #14
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,417
    Unless there is a specific reason for her to suspect, then she most likely doesn't... in my opinion she will only find out if you choose to tell her or make a mistake.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  15. #15
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    1,423
    I agree with KatrinaK. If your wife does not now know (or suspect) she is likely to figure it out sooner than later. My thoughts come from my experience of thinking I was the most careful person in hiding my dressing passion. Of coursee I was no where near as careful as I believed. I was just lucky to have a wife who after she found out made the effort to be understanding. For me having my wife know turned into a blessing. Best wsihes to you and your wife.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  16. #16
    Junior Member Shawna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    41
    OK - so I'm really beginning to wonder...my wife just returned from shopping and bought me 3 pairs of workout pants just like the pair she gave me and 3 workout tops (one a very pretty coral color)...all from the ladies department...I really need to think about this...
    "Be the kind of woman that makes other women want to be you." -Topaz

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,355
    I think your wife has an idea about you or likes seeing you in neat workout clothes, just wear what you are given and see what transpires.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  18. #18
    Junior Member Shawna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    41
    I think that's exactly what I'm going to do, Beverly...excited to see where this all leads...
    "Be the kind of woman that makes other women want to be you." -Topaz

  19. #19
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    20,953
    I don't know your wife, Shawna. So, I don't have a clue.

    U know her better than any of us. So, if u don't know what's going on, why not ask her!?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member Eemz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    896
    We all see other people's relationships through a filter of our own past experiences, and I always acknowledge in these threads that mine was bad, but that said...

    I think you should talk now before this thing gets too big in your head and you lose the plot. It doesn't have to be a big drama, just acknowledge that you've noticed she's buying you these things and that you appreciate it (she knows you do or she wouldn't have bought more, regardless of whether she suspects about Shawna or not). And see where it goes from there.

    You said yourself you're "feminizing your look". She's not blind... it doesn't mean she knows about Shawna necessarily, but she knows *something* is going on and she loves you and wants to know what's happening in your head & heart. If you don't communicate she'll start to get hurt and angry, you'll start to get paranoid and that combination ain't going anywhere good. I think she is offering you a chance to talk and you should take it. I don't think it's a cat and mouse game yet, but it will turn into one if she starts to feel that you're hiding something and this is the only way she can find out what it is. Is it another woman? Are you on drugs? What's so awful that you can't tell me?

    YMMV. My experience is that everyone gets paranoid if someone else is behaving oddly and won't say why.
    Last edited by Eemz; 11-04-2018 at 08:24 PM.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    844
    Quote Originally Posted by Shawna View Post
    OK - so I'm really beginning to wonder...my wife just returned from shopping and bought me 3 pairs of workout pants just like the pair she gave me and 3 workout tops (one a very pretty coral color)...all from the ladies department...I really need to think about this...
    If it were me I'd say "thanks sweetheart". Enjoy wearing them in front of her. Without necessarily needing to think about it. I would let nature takes its course. Your wife knows you are wearing garments from the ladies department. If she likes you in them she'll let you know. If she asks do you like wearing what I bought you I'd say yes, very much. And see what develops. The idea of 'hint', hint turns me off. Besides, that leaves you in the weaker position.

    Good luck,
    Ineke

  22. #22
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    1,493
    Is there a specific reason you are keeping this secret from her? Do you believe that dropping “hints” will help your cause? Do you want her to figure you out on her own? Not sure why you are asking strangers on a forum rather than having a frank conversation with your wife.

    From what you have shared in this post, it sounds like she cares about you a lot. Just my opinion, it would be the respectful thing to do to tell her what is going on. You know your wife best. Not sure how hurt she would be if you continue this charade and she finds out later.

  23. #23
    Member KatrinaK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    443
    I think she already knows and is giving you an opportunity to be forthcoming. The pants are one thing because they fit you and you like them, but the tops from the women’s department feel like she’s giving you a big, open, opportunity to come clean in a safe environment. I agree with Char that there’s a lot of love there. You have to follow your gut about when the right time is, but it feels like you’re being given an opportunity here.

  24. #24
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Location
    Fantasy Island
    Posts
    1,613
    Quote Originally Posted by char GG View Post
    Is there a specific reason you are keeping this secret from her? Do you believe that dropping “hints” will help your cause? Do you want her to figure you out on her own? Not sure why you are asking strangers on a forum rather than having a frank conversation with your wife.

    From what you have shared in this post, it sounds like she cares about you a lot. Just my opinion, it would be the respectful thing to do to tell her what is going on. You know your wife best. Not sure how hurt she would be if you continue this charade and she finds out later.
    That's your answer right there.

  25. #25
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Location
    United States, East Coast
    Posts
    3,212
    As a guess … I'd say by now your wife is signaling to you her knowledge of your crossdressing, giving tacit approval, yet graciously allowing you to maintain plausible deniability in deference to your feelings and out of concern that the topic might be difficult for you to openly discuss with her.

    Might be time to open up to her directly and praise her sensitivity as you do. Clearly she cares about you a lot, whatever she knows or doesn't know. I say go for it. It might help her express any lingering questions she may have and also open up a new world for the both of you!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State