Could it be that my wife is more observant and discerning than I imagined?

[KatrinaK]

100% agree with Cathreen. I've said it before and I'll say it again...

The ONLY position of integrity is to be honest and forthcoming with your spouse/SO in all aspects of your life, particularly this one.

[nancymo4242]

It could all be a coincidence. She might have just wanted you to have her spare pants, since pants like these are mostly unisex anyway, and she could have wanted you to have smoother skin. Sounds legit, right?
However...
I can bet money that she at least has had a couple of hints all over those 20 years, that you're dressing.
I do believe that women can spy and find things out about you better than the FBI or the CIA.
For real though, she must know something. But you shouldn't confront her about it just yet. Wait to see if she drops more clues, or just tells you to go dress up because you'll both go shopping for bikinis!
Just let it come naturally...

[Jenn A116]

I'm with the folks here that say its time to discuss this openly with your wife. There should be free communication between spouses on all subjects.

[nikkiwindsor]

My life has been much better since completely opening up to my wife about my feminine side...but it's not easy...that's for sure

[AKADonna]

I agree with Char GG! When my wife of 28 years caught me in panties, she had a real come-apart. At first, she thought I was gay, then that I had another lover, etc, etc. When she finally settled down (weeks later), we had the discussion about me wanting to explore my feminine side and she pretty much understood that. It turns out that she was far more upset about me keeping this from her for many years and not feeling comfortable enough with her to openly discuss it sooner.

I think that you need to find a way to open up a similar discussion, perhaps using the new workout pants and tops as a launching point, and be prepared to apologize to her for delaying bringing it up to her for so long. Handle that upfront! I think that doing this will give you the best possibility of success!