Do your kids know?

[Michelle Vinova]

Hi Ladies,
I have two young kids (both under 3, one boy one girl). My wife & I initially agreed I wouldn’t dress in front of them, but I’m starting to second guess that agreement.

If I keep it a secret from them, at some point they’ll either come across my things or I’ll to have “the talk” with them when they’re older which would likely be a big shock to them after hiding it for so long (same thing happened to my wife when I came out to her after years of marriage; could do another post on just that part).

Anyway, my question is: have you came out to your kids? When did you do it/how did i it go? Do you wish you had done things differently?

Thanks! 🙏🏻

[Macey]

At there ages I don't think any talk is needed. If you just wear what you want to wear around the house whenever, they'll understand it. Your wife would have to be totally on board with that, though!

[Richelle423]

My “kids” are dogs and cats and so they accept me.

[AmandaRaquel]

Hi Michelle

I am virtually on the same boat as you. My advice - if you normalize it in front of them they will notreact differently when you dress up in front of them.

However, at some point, you cannot expect them to keep it a secret. My wife and I agreed and acknowledged that my 3 year old will one day say - my daddy has high heels like that (or something similar). It will probably happen when we have a number of guests or something like that. At least there is going to be something to talk about Lol.

So it is up to you how comfortable you are with a scenario like that.

I will send you a PM with a longer reply.

[banzini]

I have two girls, one 7 and the other 5. I've been dressing around them for the past 2 years and I should have started earlier. The seven year old still thinks its a little odd, but the five year old doesn't think anything of it; its completely normal for her to see her dad in ladies clothing.

My opinion is if you're going to come out to your kids, the sooner the better; before they have the chance to form opinions on what is gender appropriate.

[Tracii G]

Mine are adults and I think they have pretty much figured me out.

[Charlotte7]

It's pretty much the standard advice for this situation. Think about the worst thing that can happen, and, if you're happy/content with that, then nothing else matters, because you won't be unprepared when it does.

[kimdl93]

Yes they do. With my sons it’s a DADT thing that they’ve known for 20 plus years. My step daughters know but are a bit more tolerant. Not a huge loss of stature for a step dad no longer in a relationship with their mom.

[Carolina]

My kids don’t know about Carolina. They are at college and, as empty nester now, Carolina is coming out more and more, but I’m not ready for the kids. There have been some close calls, but I doubt they have any idea. On a recent visit from college my daughter shouted “OMG dad has painted nails” (we told her it was a bet).

My wife knows and buys Carolina clothes despite our DADT situation and our closet is full of Carolina’s clothes. Once our daughter borrowed one of my skirts (asking permission from my wife, thinking it was hers despite the huge sizing difference). Kids tend to be in their own world.

As of now I’d rather keep Carolina from the kids. If and when I’m ready to take the step to come out to the world, theirs would be one of the most difficult discussions for me to have.

[DIANEF]

It's fine telling your kids, just be prepared for them to tell everyone else.

[o2bcindy]

I have a son and I didn't tell him until he was 19. With the help of my wife we all sat down and I told him and let him ask any questin he wanted to. He was amazing about it. We did have talks when he was growing up about how to keep secrets relating to the family. He has been ok with it ever since the talk.

[Chelsea B]

My “kids” are dogs and cats and so they accept me.

Are you sure the cat does?

[jacques]

hello Michelle,
My 6 year old granddaughter likes putting make up on me and I don't resist!
luv J

[Beverley Sims]

I think they sorted it out years ago.

[Leonora]

I don't think so but not so sure.

[Rayleen]

No, not to my knowledge . I keep this private .

[Lana Mae]

I came aware of all of this a little late,so.. My kids were in their thirties! I told them straight out, I was dressed male both times! I told my daughter first as she lives with me! My son, I told in the front yard one day when he was visiting! Both are accepting! My daughter has seen me dressed quite often and will help me adjust things and will take pictures as well! My son lives an hour away and has seen pictures but not actually seen me dressed up close! When he saw the pictures he said that he would have passed me on the street and not realized it was me! I think you have to know your kids to determine when and how they will respond! And yes I am blessed! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[HollyGreene]

My two sons don't know, and I have no plans to tell them.
I'm sure they will find out eventually though. Not sure how I'll handle that, but we'll work it out. I'm guessing they'll be ok with it. They'll probably think it a bit weird, but they're usually pretty accepting of anybody who's a bit different.

[Rachelakld]

Girls aged
18
16
15
13
(blended family)

Girls understand why being a girl is so much better than being a boy.
I did wait until they understood why people keep secrets.
Now my clothes, make up etc are deemed "shared" property and I have to ask everyone where my jeans, mascara, skirt, blouse etc are.

[DaisyLawrence]

I like Rachels reply (not just because it is funny). The key point is, if you want to be able to keep it a secret from some, you have to wait until the kids can understand why and how secrets are kept. Simple as that. If you are happy to be out to everyone then there is no need to delay.

[faltenrock]

M sons know. I had a talk with the younger son a month ago and it went fine. I still need to talk to the older son (23), but he has some pschological issues, so I wait a little more to explain it to him.

[kayegirl]

Although both of my kids, and my step daughter, know of my dressing, I made a promise to my late wife many years ago, that I would not be dressed in front of them. I have kept this promise and extended it to include my step daughter and all of our grandchildren.

[bridget thronton]

I told my kids (son and daughter) and their spouses when they were college aged (hAha e not told the grand daughters aged 1 and 4)

[Bobbi46]

My grown up kids do not have a clue I wish there was a way to tell them but I do not want to lose them for other reasons.

[JocelynJames]

Nope . Not sure they ever will