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Thread: Which conference for first timer and wife?

  1. #1
    Member Lea's Avatar
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    Which conference for first timer and wife?

    My wife mentioned now that we are empty nesters that maybe we could go to a crossdressers conference.

    We have never done anything like this before so we would both be nervous, myself probably more so than her. Except for Halloween I have never ventured outside.

    I think a conference that in addition to seminars also has other activities or events not specifically related to crossdressing. Visits to local sites, shopping and other things so she is not overwhelmed by everything revolving just around dressing.

    In addition, a conference where spouses are made to feel welcomed.

    Any suggestions? Location is not really an issue.

  2. #2
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    https://www.espritconf.com/

    The Espree Gala sounds like the best for you and your spouse as it is not all about the trans person.

    There is a usually a separate "spouse track" with lots of talks, support, and activists just for spouses at Espree.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 11-07-2018 at 11:04 AM.

  3. #3
    Junior Member vplshowoff's Avatar
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    Your profile shows location of southeast. Port Angeles, WA may be too far for you to travel. You might want to check out Southern Comfort. https://sccfla.org/news/2018/10/26/s...g-is-under-way

  4. #4
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    again geography may make the Keystone Conference in Harrisburg Pa. out of reach but it is the best of many trans conferences my wife and i have attended.

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member RachelPortugal's Avatar
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    Transliving have weekend events that welcome wives and family, their next one is in Bournemouth (more SW) at the end of the month and then there one in Eastbourne (SE) next March. Check out https://www.transliving.co.uk/events.html.
    Rachel,

    As a crossdresser my personality has several facets. Therefore, I suppose I can be forgiven for being facetious.

  6. #6
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I can recommend the DIVA Las Vegas T girl week. It will be in April in 2019. Many first timers and spouses attend it!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
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    I don't have a suggestion for a conference. I last went to Southern Comfort when it was still in Atlanta.

    However; I did want to through a note of caution in to your plans.

    Your first conference can be a whirlwind of experiences and conflicting emotions. It can be even more so for your wife. I would suggest being very attuned to her comfort level. I might even go so far as to recommend having a bailout plan. If it gets to be too much for her she needs to be able to get away from it all and that may include Lea! (Yes, I saw a first time couple have this exact problem)

    Since you've never been out before, except for Halloween, you might want to look at the smaller, shorter conferences. Is there a support group in your area? You could visit them, possibly join, and get their input directly.

    Planning ahead of time is the way to go. You've already started and just fire away with the questions if anything else comes up.

  8. #8
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    I heard so much great things about Esprit in Port Angeles from 2 friends that enjoyed it immensely

  9. #9
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I agree with Linda. Unless they have some "spouses only" activities, you can expect a bus load of trans people with and with out their SO's. You could try a local trans support group that may have special events around the holidays or other special events where it is a one activity only situation. Good luck.

  10. #10
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    Check out the Southern Comfort Conference.
    https://sccfla.org/about-1/

  11. #11
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    Don't know where you live in the Southeast, but there is a TRI_ESS group that meets in Atlanta each month. I've been there a couple of times and found it really fun. Not many SO's, but there are a few. Do a search for TRI-ESS Atlanta and they will contact you.

  12. #12
    Madam Ambassador Heidi Stevens's Avatar
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    Ok, Lea, I’ve been to several conferences and what you are seeking is available at Keystone next March. It’s an easy drive up I-81 from most of the south eastern US. Harrisburg is a great place to go, lots to do and Hershey is but 10 minutes away.
    The conference has classes on Thursday and Friday for everyone under the LGBT umbrella. There are interesting speakers everyday at Lunch. Dinner trips each night and of course the big gala on Saturday night. The whole hotel is filled it’s nothing but ladies and gentlemen like you. Your wife has a full program to pick from as well.

    I can not stress how much fun and information is crammed into one long weekend. I have returned every year since going for the first time in 2016. Here is the link to all the info you need: http://keystone-conference.org/.
    Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!

  13. #13
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Confucius View Post
    Check out the Southern Comfort Conference.
    https://sccfla.org/about-1/
    I was told by someone involved with SCC in Florida that it's finished!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
    between worlds... steftoday's Avatar
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    Keystone, for certain. Heidi nailed it.
    When the answers escape us when we start to fade
    Remember who loved you and the ones who have stayed
    Cause my body will fail, but my soul will go on
    So don't you get lonely I'm right where you are

  15. #15
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heidi Stevens View Post
    Ok, Lea, I’ve been to several conferences and what you are seeking is available at Keystone next March. It’s an easy drive up I-81 from most of the south eastern US. Harrisburg is a great place to go, lots to do and Hershey is but 10 minutes away.
    The conference has classes on Thursday and Friday for everyone under the LGBT umbrella. There are interesting speakers everyday at Lunch. Dinner trips each night and of course the big gala on Saturday night. The whole hotel is filled it’s nothing but ladies and gentlemen like you. Your wife has a full program to pick from as well.

    I can not stress how much fun and information is crammed into one long weekend. I have returned every year since going for the first time in 2016. Here is the link to all the info you need: http://keystone-conference.org/.
    I've been to Keystone 7 years running. Each year it's gotten bigger and bigger, but many of the events there are much smaller. Like go out with about 30 girls to a local restaurant. There used to be 4 restaurants to pick from, and now there are about 10 to accommodate everyone who wants to go out.

    They do have a spouse's track and a spouse's retreat, so your wife could get out of the noise for a while. My wife wouldn't go with me in a million years, so I don't know how good the spouse's track is.

    But, don't forget, she may meet all kinds of girls there: crossdressers, couples, transexuals, wannabees, etc., so make sure that she can handle the full spectrum of girls without freaking out.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 11-09-2018 at 10:59 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  16. #16
    Silver Member DanaR's Avatar
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    I think if you check, most of the conferences, you'll find there is programs for spouses as well. I've been to 3 or 4 IFGE conventions and to Esprit 10+ times. If I was interested in a spouses program, check out each convention and ask questions.

    My wife has gone with me to most of the conventions.
    Dana Ryan

  17. #17
    Silver Member IleneD's Avatar
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    Fantasy Fest. Key West
    There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
    She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
    I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I have to say Keystone as well, seems like a good time to be had by all.

    If necessary you can get lost in the crowd or pick out a group that will be friendly.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  19. #19
    Member Lea's Avatar
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    Thank you all your responses.
    I will check into the conferences listed.
    I was thinking of arriving a few days early to the area and vacationing while not dressed with my wife. A few days at the conference and then a few more days on vacation while not dressed. I think that may be easier on both of us.
    The times we have been out on Halloween my wife has been encouraging. She told me we were going out on the dance floor and that I was not going to stay hidden at the table all night. I think I will be more nervous that she is.
    She is used to seeing Lea so seeing me dressed for a few days in a row is nothing new. I had more vacation time than she did so twice a year I would dress for a week at a time. However I will make sure she knows she can call this off at anytime. I have had plans to dress and she suggested we go fishing instead and we have done that. So she knows that I will put her first over Lea. As a side note on bad weather days she has suggested I dress.
    The reason for her not wanting me to go out is that we live in a small town and it would not be easy on us if caught. On the Halloween parties we attended they were to parties 75 miles away from home. Besides that she is very supportive. She has bought me clothing, make up, flowers and before we got married she bought a wedding ring for Lea.
    Travel in the US is not a problem. I am retired and she works part time. Her employer is very generous with giving her time off. Plus for long distance I have plenty of frequent flyer miles.

  20. #20
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    Lea, As Doc Sherry said, Diva Las Vegas would be fantastic for you two. I did it this year and it was a WOW for me. Go to my late April postings and read about my adventures. Many spouses do attend, too!

  21. #21
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    Lea, let me suggest another approach to your first time out.

    There are several things that can be scary/exciting about your first time out in public.

    A conference can involve a lot of people, dressing standards, and scheduling issues. Issues that can be stressful under any circumstances. If you are going to go out for the first time, you will have enough stress that you don't really need to add that into the mix. And, while your wife will not have the same stresses that you have, she will certainly have her own.

    I suggest taking a baby step first, before going to a conference environment. Perhaps a public experience in a very safe and accommodating, but fully exposed arena.


    For example, my first time being seen by anyone fully dressed was at the Rainbow Resort in the Poconos of PA. during their CD/TG weekend event. The thing that sticks out the most in my mind, even above the fear and trepidation of my first steps outside, was standing in the lobby of the resort chatting with the desk clerk. I kept thinking how amazing it was to be standing there in full female presentation, being, not only accepted, but fully welcomed. Later, While eating alone in the restaurant, I was observed by a group of people at a 3 table setting, and invited to join them for dessert. That was the last meal I ate alone for the entire weekend.

    This was a resort that was 100% CD/TG friendly. Just as importantly, the non-crosssdressed guests were just as friendly and engaging.

    My point: This was an opportunity to experience, and work through, my own anxieties about being seen enfem in an environment where the entire resort didn't bat an eye.

    One other thing that helped. Since I have no delusions about being able to pass, it was comforting to see many others who were never going to pass mixed in with others who had many years of skill and experience for whom passing was an everyday thing.

    I returned again for the Fall event, and experienced the same incredible atmosphere. Without the initial first time jitters.

    It was just a thought, but, I hope this helps.

    Good luck.


    p.s. Do you have any idea how many of us are jealous of your relationship with your wife?


    p.p.s. BTW, I have no financial interest in this resort whatsoever. However, places like this are hard to come by, so, I would like to see them flourish and continue to support our community.
    Last edited by VtVicky; 11-08-2018 at 10:19 PM.

  22. #22
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    It really depends what stage you're at in your relationship with the dressing. Viva Las Vegas is certainly a fun party so to speak. It's not much of a conference just a bunch of gals getting together with a common goal to have fun. If that's what you want to be out and have fun go for it. If you're looking for something more private geared around a hotel and maybe some educational seminars there are many other conferences that are actual conferences. coming up in a few months is first event in MA. Lots of seminars lots of good people. It's really comes down to what type of event you are looking for and what do you want your wife to gain from the experience as well as yourself

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