Is cross dressing really just sexual gratification?

[Mermaiden]

I was listening to a podcast by a transgender scientist (who was herself transgender) on the topic of vocabulary to avoid. “Transvestite” was admonished because it diminishes transgender identity to being only about sexual gratification. I was flabbergasted. Of course transgender is not synonomous with transvestism, but as a straight, male identity cross dresser, I don’t think I crossdress solely for sexual gratification. I’m not totally sure why I crossdress, but this scientist doesn’t understand me at all. Am I wrong about this?

[beckypanties]

You're not wrong. I don't dress from sexual gratification either. During my teenage years it was sexual, but then as a teen male just about everything was sexual Those days are long gone. I dress because it makes me happy, nothing more, nothing less.

[Tracy Irving]

I can't even count the number of times I have not received sexual gratification from crossdressing.

[Tracii G]

Remember not all people that call themselves scientists are scientists.
Some just take research poles or survey a few hundred trans people and publish their findings because they received a grant from the federal government.(people too lazy to get a job and earn an honest living and just soak the government)
They may have a website with a fancy name or stationary with their name on it.Maybe even an office with their name on the window.LOLOL
In the end all they are publishing is their opinion and nothing of any value.

Any person that makes a statement in very black and white way has no idea what they are talking about.
We all know how diverse and how wide the gender spectrum is and know there are no absolutes when it comes to gender expression.
I never have dressed for sexual reasons so that throws their study out the window.
Don't listen to people like that because they don't know what they are talking about.

[Beverley Sims]

Not necessarily. for some it is the art of dressing up and passing yourself off as a woman.

There are many facets of dressing, some do it for a political statement because they probably don't h ve a car to post stickers on and advertise that way, others may have a wardrobe full of womens clothing they don't want to see go to waste.. :-)

My motto, wear it out first. :-)

[DIANEF]

The world is full of so called 'experts', a quick browse of the internet can arm you with 'knowledge' very quickly. As every crossdreser is different I wouldn't read too much into what you have seen. On a personal level sex had nothing to do with my dressing from my mid teens.

[Sami Brown]

I don't crossdress for that reason. I'm sure some do, but there are several here who have said they don't.

I think words like "always" or "only" are red flags. I think life is a lot more nuanced.

Sami

[ElianaFrozenflame]

Perhaps, not a direct answer to the question, but ferrets out deeper discussion:

But in truth, cross-dressing is grounded in a highly logical and universal desire: the wish to be, for a time, the gender one admires, is excited by – and perhaps loves. Dressing like a woman is merely a dramatic, yet essentially reasonable, way of getting closer to the experiences of the sex one is profoundly curious about – and yet has been (somewhat arbitrarily) barred from. We know cross-dressing well enough in other areas of life and there think nothing of it. A five-year-old boy living in a suburb of Copenhagen who develops an interest in the lifestyle and attitudes of the cow herders of the Arizona plains would be heartily encouraged to dress up in a hat, jeans and waistcoat and aim his pistol at an imaginary Indian chief – so as to assuage his desire to get a little closer to the subject of his fascination.

We should accept that the adult cross-dresser is no different. He too wants to inhabit the experiences of a group of people he is keen on. He seeks to know what it would be like to cross his legs in a tight cocktail dress, to walk across a marble floor in a pair of heels, to feel a grey cotton bra strap encasing his back, to put a little silver bracelet around his wrist, to feel the breeze on his bare waxed arms and to stroke his smooth long legs in the bath. He might extend to imagining what it would be like to kiss a man as a woman, to feel bristles that are normally his on lips as soft as those of the lovers he has known. Admiring himself in the mirror in a pair of black tights, the cross dresser samples the intense, fascinating satisfaction of being simultaneously himself and the object of his desire.

From "The Book of Life" https://www.theschooloflife.com/theb...ross-dressing/

Personally, I think "The Book of Life" is over-sexed, but the observations here made about crossdressing, I found to be rather profound.

[Michaelasfun]

You're not wrong. I don't dress from sexual gratification either. During my teenage years it was sexual, but then as a teen male just about everything was sexual Those days are long gone. I dress because it makes me happy, nothing more, nothing less.

Me too. I have exuberance start to finish whenever I dress.

[Chelsea B]

I’m not sure what issue is being taken with this person. The use of the word Transvestite does indeed historically imply a sexual motive, which is why they are cautioning against its use, correctly implying that many or most of us don’t have a sexual motive for our dressing.
What am I missing. Sounds like this got misinterpreted.

[Darling Micki]

I was listening to a podcast by a transgender scientist (who was herself transgender) on the topic of vocabulary to avoid. “Transvestite” was admonished because it diminishes transgender identity to being only about sexual gratification.

The word "Transvestite" tends to have a negative SOCIETAL definition of "a sexual deviant male that wears women's clothing."

It doesn't actually mean that of course. Just how many in society have viewed the term.

How many in society think the wrong things if I said I was feeling gay, sitting next to a fire watching a faggot burn.*GASP*

I actually really do enjoy watching a bundle of twigs burn. Very calming and soothing, especially in anticipation of marshmallows.

While technically transvestite means the same thing as crossdresser. Crossdresser seems to be more socially acceptable.

I noticed that the podcast scientist chastised about using the word "Transvestite", but every single thread reply used the word crossdresser.

Leaves one to think that even here some view transvestite unfavorably.

I am a crossdresser. I started with some of my mother's exercise wear when I was a toung teenager. Yes the taboo nature of the act did give me a sexual thrill. But I have long since out grown that. Most of the time I identify as a heterosexual male. I enjoy the comfort of a lot of different pieces of what society deems to be women's clothing. I also enjoy the illusion of femininity I can present.

With all things, like you, I have specific personal reasons for why I do the things I do. Seldom are those reasons for "Sexual Gratification", unless they include a cisgender female sharing a bed with me.

Understanding things the way I do. I would prefer to be identified as a crossdresser, instead of a transvestite. Bowing to the whims of society.

[cd_hope]

Re: the title, not for me. It's more of an escape from daily life like others get from going to the movies, but also it's a huge challenge. Anyone can go put on a skirt, but really looking the part to me is the real prize.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Marmaid

For myself no, I guess for a fetishist it would be.

Who was the scientist ?

[Queen Bridget]

Everyone has their own reasons I suppose.

[Kiwi Primrose]

I have crossdressed in some form or other for over 70 years and I know that for me it is not for sexual gratification. I never needed cross-dressing to bring on the sexual urge and now that the sexual urges have diminished my love of crossdressing hasn't.

[Maria in heels]

I also agree that many of us "used" to dress for sexual gratification to some extent in the earlier parts of our lives. I dress as Maria, because as I explain to my wife, is part of my persona and being...she plays an integral part of my personality, and is the person to thank for the warmness, kind hearted and happy person that I have become over the years. Now its just being Maria ....

[Jaymees22]

You're not wrong. I don't dress from sexual gratification either. During my teenage years it was sexual, but then as a teen male just about everything was sexual Those days are long gone. I dress because it makes me happy, nothing more, nothing less.

Just what I wanted to say.

[Robertacd]

There have been many times that I wished it was just a sexual gratification thing...

[docrobbysherry]

Awesome post, Eliana. That I identify with completely!

Dressing has always been about sex for me. It was when I began 20+ years ago and it still is now at age 75!

However, in the last 10 years it's become SO MUCH MORE!

[IleneD]

yes. next question?

[HollyGreene]

I've called myself a transvestite for years. Crossdresser is a much more recent addition to my vocabulary. Nothing to do with sexual gratification. Just about wearing the clothes that I want to look like like a woman.

[Charlotte7]

I've said before that there are probably as many reasons as to why people cross dress as there are people who cross dress. For some sexual gratification will play a part, for others, not at all. As was said at #4:

...Any person that makes a statement in very black and white way has no idea what they are talking about...Don't listen to people like that because they don't know what they are talking about.

Wise words indeed.

[Andrea2656]

Remember not all people that call themselves scientists are scientists.
Some just take research poles or survey a few hundred trans people and publish their findings because they received a grant from the federal government.(people too lazy to get a job and earn an honest living and just soak the government)
.

I am a senior physician scientist and I want to take strong objection to you characterization of scientists as people too lazy to get a job so they get a Federal grant.

Most scientists who get Ferderal grants have about 12 years of training after college (completing PhDs and post-doctoral fellowship). They are in general whip smart. Even with that, the typical pay line for Federal grants is 7-9%. That means 91-93% of all grants submitted for funding are rejected from some of the smartest people in the United States. Being a scientist today is a difficult and grueling undertaking. Most scientists can earn more and work less if they worked for industry. Scientists who depend on Federal grants to fund there research are the people who have created new life saving medicines, the new knowledge to help us live better. Please do not disparage scientists as lazy loafers living off the government. It is inappropriate.

Andrea

[Bruce64]

This is an interesting discussion, so I shaved my legs is that for sexual gratification also for mr personally it's a feeling of gratification and not just for sex. Strangely the Scientist is a Trans.

[LaurenS]

Well said, Andrea!