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Thread: Crossdressing: Choice or Necessity? or "Could You Quit It And Not Miss It?"

  1. #126
    Junior Member JennyLiz's Avatar
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    Nothing is more exciting than Model trains......Maybe Aquariums. Although I have been forbidden from having either of them.

    For me Crossdressing is not a choice it is a necessity. As a man I am embarrassed in my own skin. I have never felt comfortable as a man I tried to compensate with other means but it never felt right. While dressed I am comfortable with who I am, and with how I look. I never felt like that before, and I hate it. I am happy with me the way I am now. I am not 24/7, pretty much I get to be me outside of work, while there I have to be "him". I do were my forms, and underdress 24/7. But I can only wear my real face on the weekends and at night if I am not to tired to change.

    The change also involves a change in the way of thinking. I have a more relaxed mindset while dressed.
    My wife told me she didn't want me to become Liz from AHS Hotel.
    I Promised her that I have never and do not plan on killing anyone.
    I wonder why she wasn't comforted by that?

    (True Story btw)

  2. #127
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    I go through periods were I dont dress but I realize it's always going to be part of my life, I cant imagine not having the option not being able to dress up

  3. #128
    Member JenniferLynn0370's Avatar
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    I have crossdressed all my life; I went through bouts of guilt and purges (MAN I wish I hadn't), and just knew I'd grow out of it or that something like getting married, having kids, a professional career, etc would be all I needed to make me stop...well, it didn't. Every time I tried to stop, the urge, desire, and utter NEED to dress came right back and seemed stronger each time. I eventually realized this is just who I am and embraced it. I have come to appreciate, adore and love my femininity. So, for me, it is not a choice; it is life and I love it!

  4. #129
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    The necessity of it has come and gone over the years. I don't feel a need or compulsion nearly as much as I did when I was much younger. It depends on what is going on in my life, my stress-level, and who is in my life. Can I quit it permanently? I've been around long enough to know that's not a realistic option. I think I would miss it sometimes if it was a choice, but I wouldn't miss it if I could actually quit it. That may not make sense, but controlling it, the past guilt/shame, and such, is all baggage carried around with me. It's lighter than it used to be, but it's still there, and I would love to drop that off for good.

  5. #130
    Aspiring Member Mykaa's Avatar
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    I have quit to a degree for periods of time, but its always in the back of my mind and always comes back to some degree or another. I know this is a part of me and I accepted, I enjoy different things day to day, jeans are a daily and not a second thought to them. I bought satin sheets a few years ago and realized wearing satin helps keep them from slipping off the bed lol
    Mykaa is me! Discovering Peace throughout from the Girl within.
    David Bowie "Don't stay in a sad place Where they don't care how you are..."
    Disturbed The Light "The truth is waiting there for you to find it
    It's not a blight, but a remedy"

  6. #131
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    answer = no, neither do I want to quit cold turkey or quit period.

    I had to stop CD a few years back due to medical issues, but that didn't mean I stopped thinking about it. When my wife and I were just common law, I didn't tell her about my female side at that time, so I made a conscious decision to stop. After a short while that didn't last and Wendy came back even stronger.

  7. #132
    Lexie lou nylon boy's Avatar
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    Once a cross dresser always a cross dresser imo ! It can’t be locked away or stopped it’s a part of you and always will be !

    The desire to femme up will never go away, it’s such an amazing thing to be able to transform in to your female alter ego. I only go out as Stephie once or twice a year but that’s all I need and if I couldn’t do that I’d lose my mind !

    Going out in my new dress heels and silky sheer nylons is a must and the best thing I’ve ever done and I wouldn’t stop it for the world and no Crossdresser ever should x

  8. #133
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    I’m attending a couple of events dressed this weekend. The first one was planned a month in advance, the second one I’m doing because the opportunity presented itself.

    I find that if I do it a lot when I can, I don’t miss it as much during the odd dry spells.

    I remember the first few times I went out, it was such a rush. Now, it’s still a thrill, but being out is no longer enough. I feel I must be doing something while crossdreed, like doing DJ work, visiting a new restaurant or something like that.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  9. #134
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    Hi Patience , I have been in this program for 72years now, It is just who I am and it I just what I do.

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>Orchid ..OO..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  10. #135
    New Member Tiffany_S's Avatar
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    Necessity. I used to think it was choice, as many of us did, but have since come to realize I cannot ‘choose’ to eliminate this part of me. When I did that, I decided to see how far I was willing to take my dressing... and since learned I really want to pass more and more. Too bad my lifestyle doesn’t allow it

  11. #136
    Junior Member Stephanie Lynne's Avatar
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    I accepted who I am years ago. I thoroughly enjoy my girl time. Just never enough of it though.

  12. #137
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylakutts View Post
    I go through periods were I dont dress but I realize it's always going to be part of my life, I cant imagine not having the option not being able to dress up
    I know what you mean. Since accepting this part of me, I don't understand how I could have suppressed it for so long.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  13. #138
    Member Julie Martin's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=KatrinaK;4301748]Do we really need to have this exact same conversation every month?

    Some of us are only on here very infrequently..I am finding reading all these posts very helpful..just FYI

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    [QUOTE=Alexandra Collins;4303762]At 56 years old, I just started dressing 9 months ago.

    I'd be interested to hear what triggered this at age 56...and you look amazing, you must have done your homework!

  14. #139
    Junior Member TolerantCD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience View Post
    Until recently, through the information I have been able to find, I have understood that crossdressers express a feminine side of themselves by taking on a feminine appearance. That made sense to me because I felt that it aptly described my situation. It still does.

    I was also aware that it is not unusual for crossdressers to have a love-hate relationship with their dressing. I've seen folks describing their crossdressing urges as a tapeworm, a source of stress, grounds for separation and divorce, and...a choice/hobby? The latter description came as a bit of a surprise.

    Now, I'm not disputing the fact that crossdressing can be a lot of fun and that some people choose to crossdress occasionally for comical effect, but I didn't imagine that those types would feel the need to discuss their dressing in a forum like this. With all the headaches and social prejudices we have to endure, not to mention the danger, I could not imagine anyone wanting to seriously pursue this activity without a very strong compulsion to do so. I mean, crossdressing may be more humane than hunting and more exciting than model trains, but it's an unusual thing to choose for a pastime, isn't it? Granted, the act of dressing may be a choice, but the urge to dress certainly isn't.

    So I ask to those who consider dressing a choice: Could you just quit cold turkey and be perfectly happy not dressing ever again?
    I understand there might be many folks who have allegedly already answered a similar question in older threads. I'm posting this thread in the off-chance that some new folks with interesting insights may have joined the forum since then. Thanks.
    I don’t think we can do that, I’m afraid. I enjoy it and frankly I would wish for society to not care than for these urges to disappear, they’re really fun, who needs vanilla anyway? There’s already plenty of that in everyday life, we only live once.

  15. #140
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    I have quit 11 times for periods of six months to a year, wait no those were deployments. If I could have walked away from being female I would have. It is who I am, you can't quit being right handed. You can practice and make your left hand really good but you will always be right handed. We don't want to be like those weird left handed people anyway. Then there are those that use both hands equally well "ambidextrous" oh the shame. Is there a sarcasm font I can type in?

    I can't quit being me.

  16. #141
    Junior Member Nicole Bernard's Avatar
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    I don't think I could ever quit. Sometimes I physically yearn for it. Like I feel physical discomfort if I can't do it. Which sucks because I'm in the closet and my SO doesn't know. I only dress once or twice a year.

    Like others have said, it's a part of me. I can't stop being me in some way.

  17. #142
    Junior Member ReneeTD's Avatar
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    I doubt I could quit completely and forever. I have no designs to do so, quite the contrary, I try to do so at least several times a month with pictures to prove to myself I did. There is, with me, a strange mixture of acceptance and non-acceptance. I still keep it to myself for that later issue. I find it irritating that the social dynamic frowns upon it, but neither would I give it up. It's an essential existential condition that is bound up in my psyche and self image. In my younger days, I thought it was just a fetish, but as that aspect has waned the actual desire has strengthened, so I must conclude that it is something more.
    Renée Theresa Davidson

  18. #143
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Like so many others there was a time I went years without dressing. But 42 years ago I came out to my wife, who only had one thing to sat about it. “ so what’s the big deal.” Then we went shopping, never thought of giving up since, never really thought I Could. But then I’ve been dressing since I was 6 years old.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  19. #144
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    For 55 years I didn't know Tina existed. Now that she is a part of us, it would be like cutting off a body part to have Tina go away! She is in the fabric of life so even when I've not been in a situation to transform into Tina (as has been the case recently), she's still alive and well!

  20. #145
    Member StefaniLara's Avatar
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    I tried quitting when I was around 27, and spent about a decade denying this part of me. I was miserable the entire time, as though I was missing the best part of me. I can honestly say that no, I cannot quit. To do so would mean dying a little every day.

  21. #146
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I guess my best answer is that I don't want to stop. I enjoy everything about it. It took me years to accept this part of me.

    I've crossdressed for over 50 years and I've never stopped or purged. I don't think I could stop.

    My wife is not happy with my crossdressing. I keep thinking that she's going to ask me to stop, maybe even demand that I stop. If she were to give me an ultimatum to the effect of, "Pick me or the crossdressing", she may not get the answer she would be hoping for.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  22. #147
    Junior Member ~Renee~'s Avatar
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    The simple truth is all of us could choose to stop expressing and go cold turkey. I did for 30 years, but you are going to pay a price to yourself. So for those of you who for whatever reason are forced into a retreat I suggest you find a way to express yourself in some tiny manor. Holding back yourself completely is unwise and unhealthy. I'm so much better because I stopped letting society dictate to me my conventions.

  23. #148
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KatrinaK View Post
    Do we really need to have this exact same conversation every month?
    Of course not. People can abstain if they choose.

    Besides, there’s new folk joining all the time. We shouldn’t deny them just because we’ve been here longer.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  24. #149
    New Member JennaDcd's Avatar
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    As much as I have tried over the years to stop crossdressing and be a "normal" guy, I just can't. And I'm ok with that. I'm in my early 40s and have been enjoying it, particularly panties and lingerie, since I was 6 or so. It's never going away. It's like some of the old school thinking of, "Oh my! So and so is gay?!? Well you get him a good girl and that'll knock the gay right out of him!" Same goes for crossdressing. This is who I am, this is who we all are. The desire to do it is not going to go away.

  25. #150
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience View Post
    Of course not. People can abstain if they choose.

    Besides, there’s new folk joining all the time. We shouldn’t deny them just because we’ve been here longer.
    Thanks for this, Patience.
    My wife joined in the last day or two and these are precisely the kind of things she might want to know. (She's knocked out at the mo otherwise I'd shut the hell up and let her say it!)

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    As for myself, yes, I believe I could abstain. However, I see no reason to do so and I'd prefer not to have to.
    My wife isn't accepting it well but neither does she want me unhappy. So we're working it out. But I've made it clear that if it's Abbie or my wife then Wifeling wins every time. I did tell her that. I was also honest enough to say that there would likely be the odd backslide over the years if I tried to abstain. And that we'd have to deal with those times as they arose.

    I'd just hate for it to come to that. So in answer the second part. Yes, yes I would miss it. Terribly.
    Last edited by abbiedrake; 05-11-2019 at 09:05 AM.

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