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Thread: Crossdressing: Choice or Necessity? or "Could You Quit It And Not Miss It?"

  1. #76
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    Katrina, I have no emotional and psychological identity issues with being a women. I have no problem being a man and dressing as one. I just love wearing sexy feminine clothes and dressing up.

  2. #77
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    I don't usually post in this section since I am TS and living as such for a couple of years but I just came over for a peek and the thread title interested me.

    As I often say when I post, I believe gender is a spectrum which is why multiple groups exist on this site. Within those groups all of the individuals are different as well. As a late in life transitioner I can certainly relate to CD. I never thought I would transition.

    I purged my clothes, makeup, prosthetic breasts etc many times over the years. IMHO I think there are many reasons people CD. Some purely as an expression of part of themselves, some as a sexual turn on and others is that they are dealing with issues of gender identity.

    While I certainly do not want to claim that I know how anyone feels or what they want or believe I do suggest exploring your true thoughts and feelings about your dressing. I am certain that many or even most in this group are in touch with how they feel but if you feel some uncertainty, or if it is causing you distress. If you purge and then reacquire everything as I used to do you may want to ask yourself some deeper questions.

    Just trying to be helpful.

  3. #78
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    Katrina,
    You asked the question “why do I present as a woman?”. Well that is the thing I don’t present as a woman, I present as a crossdresser. How many women dress up in pantyhose, heels and dress to enjoy less than an hour in a coffee shop or go to the musuem or zoo and like experiences? It was seeing crossdressers doing these in that manner that inspired (inspires) me to do the same. Trust me, I went a few months to dig to see if it is more of a gender thing than a general interest. Those few months took the wind out of the sails - had no passion for the clothing I was wearing, the outings were not special any more and not fun, no drive to do consecutive days, etc.

  4. #79
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    There is nothing now that would make me want to stop dressing and that is because I don't want to, is it a choice? maybe, is it a necessity?? for me definitely and definitely because I truly love to be dressed, I love wearing feminine clothes I do it for me and no one else, I feel relaxed and at one with myself when dressed, just like I am now

    It wasn't always that way of course, I went through the various stages that many of us go through to get to this place I am now and that is at peace being a cross dresser, the acceptance that it is part of my makeup (pardon the pun), part of who I am

    It is 50 years for me now and it can only get even better it is definitely not a hobby but part of my life

  5. #80
    A Sweet Girl Roxanne Lanyon's Avatar
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    What a difficult question!
    But, after hours of reflection, I have decided, I love, I mean "LOVE", being Roxanne. It is just the way I feel, especially in a public place, under the "unseeing" eyes of others, both men and women. I feel so normal in a dress! So pretty in make-up! So sweet and caring and nice in my frillies! I simply adore being that girl! At times I think about transitioning, but I just can't go that far (yet?). But I do love getting dressed, brushing my "artificial" hair, and shaving my legs and other more feminine areas. And when "he" looks at me, and smiles, I feel so warm and giddy all over! I DO adore that, too!
    Being Roxanne - there is nothing better than that!
    Roxanne Lanyon

    "IN Love With My Femininity"

    "In Love With My Femininity"
    As Sweet As I Can Ever Be

  6. #81
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    Sounds wonderful, Roxanne! I love the process of dressing, too! And, changing, looking in the mirror, taking pictures, etc.!

  7. #82
    A Sweet Girl Roxanne Lanyon's Avatar
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    Isn't it so wonderful? What could be better than that?
    Roxanne
    As Sweet As I Can Ever Be

  8. #83
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    started to dress as a kid, even had sex with a boy as I was the girl, got caught by my mother dressed in her clothes, and shamed and whipped. my mother even pounded in my head that I ruined things for being born a boy, go figure. stopped dressing for about 10 years, got married. then urge came back and dressed while she was gone to work. end marriage #1, reasons many but none with dressing. marriage #2 many challenges, work hard to find and keep, 2 children from first go-round, but urge comes back. wife sort of okay with it. but then I stopped for about 5 years , urge again came back really big, even to the point of transition. end of marriage#2. purged everything, found lady on line and fell in love. packed up and moved almost 900 miles south. married and missed dressing but kept it under control. 2012 and end marriage #3. she passed away. couldn't dress because step daughter lives here. I do on occasion get time to dress with what little stuff I have, and I love it and don't plan to stop. I now have a set of breast forms, panties, a bra and pantyhose and panty girdle. stop. NEVER!

  9. #84
    Member Lea's Avatar
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    I did not choose to crossdress. My mother used to dress me and treat me as a girl until I reached school age.

    That started my dressing. I am have gone long periods not dressing while in the military but have always gone back to it. I could stop however I would not be me and after awhile I would become frustrated and moody. So yes I would miss it.

  10. #85
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    Patience, with respect to your original questions.

    I believe that crossdressing is a need for me. However personally I don't believe I need to pass as a woman. I can be happy being a man-in-a-dress.

    I've tried quitting cold turkey, and didn't dress for over ten years. However, everyday I would fantasize about the day I could crossdress again. I would look at catalogs and admire the feminine clothing. I always knew that I would be happier if I was free to crossdress. The compulsion to crossdress was constant.

    Sometimes I think my life would have been so much easier if I never had a desire crossdress. However, we all have to accept ourselves for what we are. I don't believe my crossdressing is a choice. I crossdress because I need to, and in doing so, it makes me happy.

  11. #86
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    I don’t consider my cross dressing as a choice. It is certainly an ingrained behavior that for some reason, I keep coming back to. I don’t know why I am a cross dresser and other men are not. I have been trying to find that answer for,years. What separates us fro the other 90%.

    I have purged and not dressed for several years at a time for various reasons, bit I would still think about the time coming when i would be able to put on a pair of panties again. However, even though I like to underdress and dress fully on those rare occasions that I have, I still consider myself as totally male with no inclination to ever try to present or spend any extended time as a woman.

  12. #87
    Aspiring Member Desiree2bababe's Avatar
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    I refrained for over 20 years while raising my children, there were times when I missed it enough to dress once or twice, only to purge right away. It was always on my mind however. I was certainly happy without it as I enjoy my male self as much as my alternate personality. I doubt any of us who started as a child can ever be cured of the desire. It's too bad it's still looked on as strange by most but it's getting better.......

  13. #88
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    Could I give this up? Yes. Could I give this up and be happy? I don't think so. Even though I have spent most of my life without it, it has now become a core part of who I am and I don't think I could find the same peace and contentment any other way.

    Previously I often had a sense of being adrift and would find myself in situations where I should be happy but couldn't work out why I wasn't, often accompanied by bouts of depression and anxiety. Crossdressing does seem to provide a connection to something that grounds me.

    Sometimes I think that this might be because it is uniquely mine. Noone else has a say in what I do, and I can, for a while, be just who I want to be. I do have a fear that if I let anyone close to me in on this it will break that and I'll no longer be able to find the same peace and contentment from it.

  14. #89
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    The urge, need, compulsion to crossdress is not a choice for me. How, when, where and how frequently I act on it is.

  15. #90
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    Earlier this year, I was commenting to a lady friend that I needed something to keep my legs warm during the cold winter walks across a large parking lot each day. I mentioned that I looked at men's pantyhose and are so expensive for one pair but ladies nylons are so much cheaper. She encourage me to buy a few pairs and try them so see how I felt wearing them. Then I realized that wearing nylons would feel better with shaved legs. Then she encouraged me, not demanded of me, but only suggested that I complement wearing nylons with wearing panties. From there went to wearing bras and makeup. But in my daily life, I am very careful to be discreet in not over-doing or else I could easily loose my contract job.
    Over the months since, wearing feminine has replaced wearing masculine underwear. Even if not wearing a bra since it would show through my clothes, I will be wearing a cami to keep my chest feeling good.
    I doubt if I could ever go cold turkey and just give it all up since it has become a habit that I enjoy and helps me to relax after the stress of a work day. The only reason I would quit cold turkey is if my health depended on it as I want to live to a old ripe age.
    At the same time, I will not be a full time crossdresser as I am enjoying the appearance of having a woman within that likes to subtly display herself on the outside.

  16. #91
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Danish, that’s an interesting conversation.

    ‘’To the OP, thats a question I’ve asked myself over and again. The truth is I would certainly miss dressing. It’s something deeply ingrained. I’m conflicted in that I know it’s just too much for most women...and I might have to abstain if I wish to sustain a relationship

  17. #92
    Occasional CD Alexandra Collins's Avatar
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    At 56 years old, I just started dressing 9 months ago. I've already met 3 local crossdressers who dress even though they've never told their wives and hidden it from them for years (30 years in one case!) or they've told their wife and she hates it and wants nothing to do with it, but he still has the urge to dress and goes out dressed without her knowing. I am amazed by these people, and have great sympathy for them. I cannot imagine being in their shoes. I told my significant other as soon as I started dressing and she has been very supportive, and even lent me her clothes, gone shopping for clothes with me, is teaching me about makeup, and has gone out with me most times I've been outside the house dressed. I cannot imagine doing all this in secret without my S.O. knowing, and her helping me. Based on the 3 people I described, it is clear to me that the urge to dress can be incredibly strong, in some men at least.

  18. #93
    Aspiring drama queen Isabella Ross's Avatar
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    Short answer: no. I've felt the need and urge to be feminine since my earliest memories. I spent the first 40 years of my life suppressing that urge...and failing. I now see it for the gift it is. And I would never try to suppress it again because a) I would fail and b) why suppress something that gives you so much joy?

  19. #94
    Deanna DW's Avatar
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    Choice?

    Personally, I don't feel that I could just stop.
    I wear something femme 24/7. Being forced to give that up would be a serious problem for me.
    Being dressed femme is relaxing, and somehow comfortable. I am better able to control my temper, my reactions, and my sense of self, when enfemme.
    I cannot speak for others, but I find being able to express my femme side both relaxing, and addicting.

  20. #95
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    I missed a weekend of dressing and I feel horrible. So I guess I can't either.

  21. #96
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    I echo a lot of the replies to this thread: I enjoy "dolling-up" too much to give up that feminine feeling... Donning my size 8 breast forms, thigh-high stockings, a black male-pouch thong, and 4 inch heels, I feel so wonderfully sexy. My mirror has never looked so attractive. Lol . Nope, I will not give that up without a fight.
    Jade

  22. #97
    🌑🌘🌗🌖🌕🌔🌓🌒🌑 Patience's Avatar
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    As I mentioned in other posts, I, like many others, repressed my urges for a long period of time for the benefit of others.

    Since accepting this part of me, I almost don't understand that person I used to be. All the happiness I denied myself all these years. Wow, gotta make up for lost time. It feels good to finally be myself.
    ...throw off those chains of Reason and your prison disappears...

  23. #98
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shayla View Post
    I think anyone who describes crossdressing as their 'hobby' does so loosely/tongue-in-cheek. I think you are right, that it is a compulsion.
    Crossdressing doesn't respond to treatments for OCD. So perhaps it is for you, but not for a lot of the rest of us. Perhaps there's some connection, but there's definitely something else going on here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mary Lawrence View Post
    I have no doubt that crossdressing is related to sexual behavior in some fashion, i.e., it is modulated by hormonal activity.
    Why or how, I have no clue.
    Out of curiosity, then what makes you sure that it's related to sexual behavior or hormonal activity?
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  24. #99
    New Member Sophiaro13's Avatar
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    I don't think I can stop if i wanted, I've tried several times and every time the urge comes back stronger and when i start dressing again i take another step forward and now present fully and have even gone out once. I can't picture a scenario where I could stop

  25. #100
    Junior Member JulieB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taylor186 View Post
    The urge, need, compulsion to crossdress is not a choice for me. How, when, where and how frequently I act on it is.
    Totally agee, with what you said!

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