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Thread: Crossdressing: Choice or Necessity? or "Could You Quit It And Not Miss It?"

  1. #101
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    Patience,
    Thanks for carefully wording this question , I admit I did get a little heated some time ago when I saw a member refer to it as a hobby . You're right hobbies don't cause the heartache and despair associated with CDing and being TG .

    Could I stop ? Twenty years ago I nearly ended my life over the response from wife so the answer is obvious , I've had a gut feeling from the age of 8-9 years and only put that feeling to rest . To stop now would make no sense, I've only just found a balance and become comfortable with it , I'm finally content and happy with my life .

    Asking this question afresh makes some of us look inwardly at ourselves again , I'm sure my answer this time is different to my last .

    Krisi,
    You have made this comment before , possibly suggesting it's an addiction , that doesn't take into account your level of GD , knowing some of us are born with this trait , knowing it's never going away, denying it's part of your being . The clothes wearing isn't the whole story , to me it's a window to my inner needs, Teresa is a real person not something I can or want to pack away when I tire of her .
    Last edited by Teresa; 12-18-2018 at 03:48 PM.

  2. #102
    New Member Brocdol's Avatar
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    For me its not a choice its something that i feel/need to do. Over the years I've tried stopping multiple times but somehow i end up back dressing up.
    So now im just trying to except and understand why i like dressing, and i have this urge too.

    So could i quit and not miss it? No.

  3. #103
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    After fighting the urge for many years (20 to be exact). I decided to find peace instead and came out to my wife in 2014.

    As I have two young children I don’t get to dress anywhere near as much I would like. Also my wife has gone from being okay seeing dressed to not okay. So I have to wait for when she goes out alone and the kids are in bed.

    But all my clothes are hung neatly in the closet and she’s okay with me shaving my legs and body so I find some solace in that. Hopefully we will get back to where we were before.

    So as for the original question could I give up the answer is no. As trying not to do this made into miserable person.

  4. #104
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    For me it's been a compulsion from an early age I've managed to supress it for a long time . But now I cant and the desire to dress more often and go further with it is increasing daily . The guilt I feel is incredible but I just cant help it

  5. #105
    dress to feel the energy Shely's Avatar
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    Sure I could quit, again and again and again.
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/

  6. #106
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    I am sure that the members here could really have a go at what the word addiction means.

    Or doesn't mean. I doubt if anyone here doesn't have some addiction or another? (Mine is sugar. SO WHAT?) Or hobby or hobbies. Are some, any or all hobbies addictive? What do ALL hobbies have in common. The activity causes various CHEMICALS to be released in the brain. Feel good chemicals Some here are obviously addicted to buying clothes, panties, purses, dresses. Clearly for ONLY home dressing or pics. CDing IS JUST a hobby here for many. Hundreds have declared it over many years in these very Forums.Whether one goes out or not is irrelevant.

    Now repeat after me....

    Just because it is a hobby or addiction for SOME, does not mean it is a hobby for ALL.. Or that it takes anything away from members for which it goes to their very core.

    ALL CDers are Human = ALL CDers are unique = THERE IS NO WRONG WAY!

    Accept that fact and set yourself free.

  7. #107
    Always been a GIRL. Michelle1955's Avatar
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    My response is a Necessary.I have accepted over the years that this is who I am started 58 years ago at a very young age. JCP and Sears catalog going straight to the bras, panties, and cloths.
    Last edited by Michelle1955; 01-01-2019 at 06:39 PM.

  8. #108
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    Purged my stuff many times and every time I felt I had cut a part of me out and put it in the trash with clothes! Just hanging my girl back in the closet after a outing and knowing how long it will till the next time is a real bum trip. Can't dress where I live.

  9. #109
    Member Brandi Christine's Avatar
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    I have crossdressed since I was a little boy, I finally quit when I got married in 2003, but the urge was always there, and twice during that time I went out and bought minimal clothes and dressed while on business trips, then purged…

    About 2008 something snapped, and while unable to dress up I virtually crossdressed (using photoshop) but over the last few years it worked less and less at fulfilling the need in me, and my desire to become more feminine overtook me again.


    Two years ago I started again, am very in the closet, but absolutely love it when I can dress fully (which happens very infrequently unfortunately) and am more or less happy where I'm at for now, but am not sure where the journey is going to take me from here… What I do know is I can never quit.

  10. #110
    Member Lindseynrva's Avatar
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    I too have dressed since a boy playing in moms clothes. Just at home occasionally had a dressing friend but mostly a solitary thing. I’d purge, swear it off only to get back to it again later. I’ve enjoyed it, it’s not something my SO wants anything to do with so I keep it packed away but I do dress multiple times a week. I did begin getting breast forms a few years ago and will say anyone on the fence about getting good mastectomy forms vs cheap ones well, you get what you pay for. Comfort, shape and sizes are amazing. I have several and some days I think being a cross dresser beats beating a real girl because sometimes I wanna be Betty Boop with nice big breasts but other days small and perky really fits the mood!

    Variety is the spice of life and cross dressing is our drug!

  11. #111
    Junior Member Jayne44C's Avatar
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    I've stopped like many of us, for various reasons. The desire/need/want to dress never has. I liken it to the imaginary characters that were constantly in the mind of John Nash from the movie "A Beautiful Mind". I've been able to curb the desire but, never have I been successful in burying it....never.

  12. #112
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    I find that it’s easier to control the urges if one has an outlet for the urge to dress; preferably something regular.

    Thank you all for your replies.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  13. #113
    Member rhonda's Avatar
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    It starts out a choice then becomes a necessity , after awhile it becomes permanent lifestyle . those who think they can quit are in for a surprise when they try

  14. #114
    Junior Member SexyErica's Avatar
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    Not sure how to put this. A controlled necessity I guess. Since I started dressing fully and going out partial dressing just doesn't do anything for me anymore. Therefore my opportunities got fewer and farther between. There's times I've got to go months without dressing. The urge and desire to dress never goes away but for my job and family I understand it's what needs to be done. Yes I've tried quitting altogether many times over the years and like most here have found it can't be done. The desire always comes back.

  15. #115
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    I like the term HOBBY although it is a little more compulsion than stamp collecting. Ber a crossdresser is just part of how I am I am many things, we all are. I have quit cold turkey, purging, and that is not recommended because the need comes back. But we all know that.
    I just call it a hobby because it is easy but not something I put on my resume
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  16. #116
    Member Alexis00's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shayla View Post
    I think anyone who describes crossdressing as their 'hobby' does so loosely/tongue-in-cheek. I think you are right, that it is a compulsion (albeit one that tends to come and go for many of us) that can be controlled, but not stopped at will. Certainly I have tried, and would try to quit again if I thought it was possible, not due to how I feel about myself, but how I think future and current relationships will be/could be affected because of my needs.
    I joined here to help figure out how and how much it can or should be part of future relationships.

    But I’ve decided to be honest about this part of me before I get in a serious relationship, as concealing it didn’t work.

  17. #117
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    For me, I guess crossdressing help my mood in thise down times.
    I find when I am in the company of good people, with good friends
    having a good time, then my desire to crossdress is almost gone.

    But as soon as those times are over, watch out,

    Been almost 24/7 lately.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  18. #118
    New Member BeccaB's Avatar
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    As far as it being a choice or necessity on a day to day basis, it could be either. Sometimes I’ll get home and put something relaxing on because I choose to - not because I “need” to. But sometimes the urge is so much that I know I need to put something on as soon as I can. But I think, ultimately, even when I feel it’s a choice it’s because it’s based on it being a necessity.

  19. #119
    Junior Member adelinapa's Avatar
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    Hmmm ... yes, no and sometimes to both.

    I need to express my feminine side, but I don't need to CD to do that. Sometimes I can just dance slinkily to Jessie J's "Price Tag" while I'm cooking or curl up to an tearjerker movie or whatever.

    Dressing makes it easier, and feel more complete but I don't think I need to dress on a daily or even weekly basis. I just liiiiiiiiiike it better when I am.

    I do feel like I have this urge, big picture to need to do it at some level, else I wouldn't have had left and returned to it so many times.

  20. #120
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Adel, I love the last line in your post. So many of us can identify with it.
    Crissy

  21. #121
    Junior Member adelinapa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crissy 107 View Post
    Adel, I love the last line in your post. So many of us can identify with it.
    I know right? Like, it's not like it's what the popular kids are doing these days. We all come back for a reason, and that reason isn't because we like to buy clothes that we'll probably throw away next year in a purge over the course of 30 years.

  22. #122
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SexyErica View Post
    Not sure how to put this. A controlled necessity I guess.
    A controlled necessity...or an uncontrolled choice?

    I understand there are many “all or nothing” dressers. While I'd like to always dress to my maximum potential, realties of life preclude that option. Also as my “maximum potential” is evolving with my skills, I feel happy if I can get even a little bit in on a given day. Who knows, just doing that one little thing might lead to a breakthrough which might not have happened otherwise.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  23. #123
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I need to look into the mirror and see myself looking back at me. Since I am mentally and emotionally female, crossdressing is a way to achieve that. Could I stop and never do it again? Yes. Could I be happy doing that? Absolutely not! It would make me utterly and totally miserable.

  24. #124
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    Absolutely not! I'm in way too deep to turn back now! Crossdressing has become a part of my daily routine, and every time I dress up and start to feel all feminine, I feel a lot of the stress in my body just leave. I would have to say its probably become somewhat of an addiction for me as well.
    I could give it up for a few days, and actually went without crossdressing for a couple of weeks after I lost my job. But giving it up entirely? No way, and certainly not for an extended period of time. As for purging? NO NO NO TIMES A BILLION!!! Way too much of my hard earned cash has been spent on clothes to just throw them away!

  25. #125
    Aspiring Member fun4metoo2004's Avatar
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    For me it is what I am. I have only once gone out in public, and with great success. I do not find lots of time to dress fully, as my Son just moved back in. I have not talked with him about it so I am unsure how he would take it if I was to dress daily in and around the house full time.

    It is a Need more than anything else. I found it very empowering when I went out. So much so that I am focused on learning my makeup skills now. I also want to go have some professional photos done en femme. Next years goal. Makeup first!

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