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Thread: Referring to fem self in third person.

  1. #26
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Becky Blue View Post
    Pretentious? Moi?
    Basil_Fawlty.jpg

    I suppose you think that was funny?, hmmm, hmmmm....
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  2. #27
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    I've been on here for 2 years and I've never considered how people refer to themselves. I can't even readily say if I've used ever used the third person myself (or is that herself?), probably on occasion. I doubt if anyone does it deliberately and, as has been pointed out, our particular situation does make things a little more complex.

  3. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSF View Post
    I think "Jimmy" does it best! Sorry for the poor picture quality, but this may explain the OP's reasons. At least it is worth a good laugh.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apa0nG1OfUc
    Hahaha Allie exactly!

    Love all the responses ladies! Some very good points made.

  4. #29
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Exclamation I do it because it's true!

    Sherry doesn't appear to BE me in any, way, shape or form!

    And, if she ever does, it means I screwed up and am NOT happy with her look!

    Kas, I prefer to present as a pretty, young, woman. Since I'm a homely 75 y/o man that requires changing EVERYTHING about the way I look. That's what I meant!

    So, she is LITERALLY a completely different looking person! And, is a 3rd person, get it now!?
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 11-12-2018 at 01:14 AM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  5. #30
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    Sherry,

    What you just said makes absolutely no sense, I’m sorry.

    Your comment is a good example of what I am referring to in my OP.

    I have a hard time being able to respond or even take comments like these seriously, because frankly, it just sounds very ingenuine to me and doesn’t add anything to the conversation besides making things more confusing and convoluted.
    Last edited by Kas; 11-10-2018 at 07:29 PM.

  6. #31
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    U posted:
    "Why do some members choose to refer to their female names from a 3rd person perspective rather than saying Me or I? I just find it odd because in the real world, referring to yourself in 3rd person is usually viewed as strange, but it’s very common on this site.

    Do you see your fem self as a seperate identity? Or is it more just to help reaffirm your fem self by using the name as much as possible? Would saying Me or I be leaning uncomfortably close towards being transgender which I know many here are not?"
    I responded to that.

    Rather than bad mouthing my reply? Why not just ask about the part(s) u don't understand?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #32
    Aspiring Member Eemz's Avatar
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    We have a mix of people on this forum though and for some of them CD is more like a hobby or a fantasy, and in that context I could see how the "fictional" female character might be referred to in the 3rd person. It's like an actor talking about the character he plays on TV.

    For me ... I'm TG ... I *am* Eemz - so me talking about Eemz in the 3rd person would make no sense. But that's different.

  8. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    Why not just ask about the part(s) u don't understand?
    Because I literally didn’t understand any of it.

    For example:

    “Sherry doesn’t appear to me in any, way, shape or form!”

    What is this supposed to mean? If Sherry doesn’t appear to you, then why do you refer to yourself as Sherry? I don’t get it...

    “And, if she ever does, it means I have screwed up and am NOT happy with her look!”

    This sentence makes just as little sense as the first... So Sherry only appears when you are not happy with how she looks? Who is she when you ARE happy with her looks?

    I’m sorry, but none of this makes any sense to me or answers the question I asked in my OP.
    Last edited by Kas; 11-11-2018 at 12:57 AM.

  9. #34
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    wow, this is definitely an indication that no one ever reads the sig parts of posts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jean 103 View Post
    Because it is a seperate life. With me I have my work life and my personal life. I have thought of changing my name, for now things are fine the way they are.
    True, compartmentalization might be a good excuse, but straight men don't use third person to distinguish between their work and personal lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Majella St Gerard View Post
    I find that people that refer to themselves in the third person to be a bit pretentious.
    I don't think that most people here who do it, do it for that reason. The rest of their posts don't seem to indicate that, anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hell on Heels View Post
    Hell-o Kas,
    I’ve noticed the 3rd person usage on this forum too. I don’t think I use it, although I’m sure at one point or another I have.
    If you were to look up the definition of the word illeism, you’ll find many reasons for the use of speaking, or writing in the third person.

    I don’t think schizophrenia has much, if anything to do with it. Although I am afraid Kristyn may have a different opinion about that!
    If you're referring to multiple personality disorder, that's actually different from schizophrenia, and MPD is exceedingly rare. There also doesn't seem to be that type of distinction being made in the posts of those who use third person female identifiers, either.

    Much of it tends to be one of a few things.
    1. The individual's desire to distance his 'real' self from any and all feminine desires, behaviors and thoughts. This most likely comes from our upbringing in which the worst possible thing a boy could be, was girly in any way. Feminine pronouns, nouns and descriptives are the worst insults that anyone can use against a male. Cheater, liar, thief, etc., all pale in comparison to Sissy, the 'P' and 'W' words which end with 'y', 'Lady', 'girl', are all insults and taunts that will start fights faster than any other in all male company. What is odd is that women will use these same mean spirited words as insults towards men, seemingly totally oblivious to the fact that they are actively implying that being feminine is inferior to being masculine, essentially insulting themselves at the same time.
    2. The desire to actually draw attention to referring to themselves as female. Maybe they feel that if they do that, others will treat them as females as well.
    3. Probably the most common; it's a way for them to hopefully fool the women in their lives, that what they see and hear, isn't the 'real him'. This apparently works well enough for some, that it's all they have to do in order to keep the possibility of it being true firmly in their SO's (and potentially family and others) minds as well. To those I say, good luck and I hope you can continue to manage that.

    But if you're trying to figure out why you have all these thoughts, feelings and even desires to dress, behave and be treated as a female, pretending that those feminine things aren't actually part of you, isn't going to help at all. In fact, it will get in the way of ever figuring out WHY you are this way. And some are just fine with that, because they really don't want to know. For some who were indoctrinated into the mindset that even allowing themselves to think about being feminine is a sin or a terrible thing, it can be very difficult to cast off those feelings even much later in life.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  10. #35
    Senior Member Jenn A116's Avatar
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    A really good question. One that I don't have an answer for. In general I refer to myself in the first person when in drab, unless I'm talking about Jenn in which case I do use the 3rd person. Sometimes its a convenience/cover when I'm out (again, in drab) with my wife and we are talking about Jenn's stuff. When I'm presenting as Jenn I talk about myself in the first person. Yes, puzzling.
    Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.

  11. #36
    Aspiring Member RachelPortugal's Avatar
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    I sort of get that Jenna. I suppose it is much the same as an actor talking about a character that they have played or are playing.
    Rachel,

    As a crossdresser my personality has several facets. Therefore, I suppose I can be forgiven for being facetious.

  12. #37
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Thank u, Kas! Now I know why u don't understand!

    Because I left out a word, "be". Re read it and see if it's better now!?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  13. #38
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Multiple personalities (co-consciousness)
    Depends on which personality is talking about which personality stuff/events etc.
    I'm normally in "boy mode" so I talk to my wife about "her / Rachels" clothes
    If I was in girl mode, I would be talking about "my clothes"

    Really quite simple if you enjoy MP.
    But if you've never experienced it, it would be like explaining colours to a person who has always been blind.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  14. #39
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kas View Post
    So, why do you refer to your fem self in 3rd person?
    if I wasn't lazy I would change the name to something I prefer. That being said, over the years, it has grown on me. But then again, I don't tend to use it in responses. I am always me.

  15. #40
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    I don't recall doing that. I say "I" regardless.
    Krisi

  16. #41
    Junior Member Darla L's Avatar
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    Like others have said, I only refer to “Darla” in the third person when my wife and I are out shopping and there is a chance of being overheard. I will ask her opinion on something as in, “Do you think Darla would like this shirt?” Or, she may tell me, “Honey, I think Darla would love this dress, what do you think?”

    I don’t dress fully with makeup and wig often, due to many things, but among those things is not wanting to over do it and lose her support. So, when it’s been a while and we have time, I may ask her how she feels about Darla coming over for a few hours. At other times I just ask her if she would mind helping me with my makeup tonight.

    Normally when I’m dressed, we stick to the same first person terms of endearment that we always call each other, “ Honey, Sweetheart, etc.”
    Mostly a "manly man" but sometimes I really am overcome with an inner desire...

  17. #42
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
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    Been doing it for years, can never understand the issue with doing it, plus it can be funny!

    I've always done it at Swim School, all my little fishes knew who and where Stacy was and if distressed to look to Stacy!
    "And they all grew up to be Dolphins" The End!

    Stacy! or " I "
    STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
    Stop breathing imagine none of this is real

    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"

  18. #43
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    It's also easier to text to a friend:

    “Patience is standing in the checkout line at Morrison's”
    than
    “I am crossdressed and standing in the checkout line at Morrison's”.
    when out and about.

    I'd rather not keep broadcasting the fact that I dress and I can never be sure my friend's alone when I'm texting them. Not that I don’t trust my friends. It’s the people they might be with.
    Last edited by Patience; 11-14-2018 at 10:40 AM. Reason: Old habits are hard to break.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  19. #44
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    Very interesting question and thread! I’ll add my thoughts that I don’t think we’re covered yet:

    Although I don’t think I’ve referred to Michelle in 3rd person yet (until just now!) I chose a girl name because (1) When I have time to go full CD, I’m doing everything I can to present as a woman.. artificial boobs, hips, make-up, perfume, girl clothes...why not also take on an artificial female name??
    And (2) precedence had been set on this forum to have a female name. I had not really adopted a full female name until registering here. Good ideas come from friends! And having a female name is part of the fun!! Although not as fun as the dress ;-)

    Last thought is I believe those who are TG and born in wrong body would struggle with this concept. I’m a CD and enjoy each gender, so having a name for when I’m acting as the opposite one makes sense to me.

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