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Thread: Referring to fem self in third person.

  1. #1
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    Referring to fem self in third person.

    Why do some members choose to refer to their female names from a 3rd person perspective rather than saying Me or I? I just find it odd because in the real world, referring to yourself in 3rd person is usually viewed as strange, but it’s very common on this site.

    Do you see your fem self as a seperate identity? Or is it more just to help reaffirm your fem self by using the name as much as possible? Would saying Me or I be leaning uncomfortably close towards being transgender which I know many here are not?

    I understand in a drag (queen) situation, where you are actively pretending to be somebody your not, but I even see some girls on the TS forum referring to themselves in 3rd person which I just don’t understand.

    So, why do you refer to your fem self in 3rd person?
    Last edited by Kas; 11-10-2018 at 03:30 AM.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member RachelPortugal's Avatar
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    I do not recall doing so myself intentionally, but I will not swear on that.

    If I am out shopping in male mode with my wife, she will say that a dress or a pair of shoes would suit Rachel. So, when writing about such incidents it is easy to fall into the trap and continue writing about one's alter ego in the third person, much the same as Clarke Kent would talk about Superman. Although he needed to conceal his secret identity, but on this forum we are all "out" to each other, if not in the real world.
    Rachel,

    As a crossdresser my personality has several facets. Therefore, I suppose I can be forgiven for being facetious.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Kas, as someone who is 'guilty' of that, its really simple. I do it for clarity of posts... I am Becky, she is me, but when posting about that part of my life its often easier and clearer to refer to her as another person.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  4. #4
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Kas,

    I find it understandable as so many of us live what are effectively 2 lives. There's our day to day male existance and depending upon personal circumstance our femme persona.

    I can understand that perhaps the very fact that we're conversing here on the forum places us in that femme persona and therefore using the first person makes sense. However if we're describing events in the real world then it's possible we need to distinguish between our two existances.

    Now I know this will have some saying that they're a single personality etc which I suppose is true for all of us but you could look at it that we're all a little bit schizophrenic.

  5. #5
    -1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    So that if an arrest warrant is issued for the Lydianne, I can continue with impunity.

    - Lydianne.

  6. #6
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    I'm in the 'no third person' camp (for myself, no judgement on how other people feel comfortable!).

    But it seems so prevalent that in another posting of mine, I used the term "herself" (referring to my wife), and folks were confused that I was referring to me.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater View Post
    However if we're describing events in the real world then it's possible we need to distinguish between our two existances.
    This is a good point. Using it in this context makes sense.

    Also good responses from everybody else.

  8. #8
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    Charlotte! Charlotte!!

    Okay, okay, I'm coming. What do you want?

    You don't look so good?

    No, Charlotte, she doesn't feel too good.

    What's up? Hungiver?

    Yes, Charlotte, she is hungover.

    Well, you've only yourself to blame.

    Yes, Charlotte, she blames herslef. She was drinking red wine last night.

    Well be that as it may, there's someone here saying that you've been using the third person again?

    Who? Me? Charlotte?!!! No, she wouldn't do that!

    Well someone has, because there's a thread up about it?

    Is there? I'm sure that she, Charlotte would have something to say about that.

    And what would she say?

    Well, she would say that this is a forum and there are all kinds of people here, from all over the world. And she would say that the reason that they're here is because they're cross dressers. And she would go on that they post here because it's a place to share cross dressing and a place to seek help and advice. And she, Charlotte would add, that's a good thing and she would want everyone to be welcomed here and she would hope that anyone who wants to post here would be welcomed and feel able to post. And she would hope that everyone would be treated the same. And she would hope that people weren't put off posting because they found it harder to express themselves. And she would hope that everyone here would realise this and not be bothered about how people write, how people spell, or if sometime the grammer it was incorrect. You see, what she would hope is that people here would read the message, and offer any help that could be offered, and if they themselves might have differently phrased it, not be worried about how it was being said.

    That's what Charlotte thinks is it?

    Yes, she thinks that.

  9. #9
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    I used to do that too. I once tried my best to keep the two sides of me separate. If I was in male mode, talking about my female side, I'd refer to Her, Sara, etc. If I was dressed, I'd refer to my male side as Him.

    These days, I don't bother. I've merged my two halves into one whole -um- me. No more taking sides, so to speak.

    Nowadays, I'll say "I like that skirt" rather than "Sara would like that". etc.

    Still - there are some 'socially convenient' times where I would still use "she" (so as not to raise eyebrows when they don't need to be raised)

  10. #10
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    Charlotte,

    I am aware that we have many types of people from all over the world etc, but if thats the case, then why dont reddit users (for example) or any other forum users, frequently refer to themselves in 3rd person? Surely there is a much larger variety of people on reddit, compared to here right?

    There is obviously more to it then that... The other responses seem to confirm that also.
    Last edited by Kas; 11-10-2018 at 07:27 AM.

  11. #11
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater View Post
    Kas,

    I find it understandable as so many of us live what are effectively 2 lives. There's our day to day male existance and depending upon personal circumstance our femme persona.

    I can understand that perhaps the very fact that we're conversing here on the forum places us in that femme persona and therefore using the first person makes sense. However if we're describing events in the real world then it's possible we need to distinguish between our two existances.

    Now I know this will have some saying that they're a single personality etc which I suppose is true for all of us but you could look at it that we're all a little bit schizophrenic.


    What Helen said
    Jill

  12. #12
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    Literary license?
    Though I like Lydianne’s answer too ;-)

    Fran

  13. #13
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Because it is a seperate life.

    With me I have my work life and my personal life. I have thought of changing my name, for now things are fine the way they are.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Stephanie Julianna's Avatar
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    I don't. I am both Stephanie and Bob all the time. I have long given up trying to seperate them. In reality, my Stephanie Julianna me is at the front of my personality even though my appearance does not get to match it near as often as I would like. As I have gotten older my feminine psyche has definitely fought it's way to the front of the line.

  15. #15
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    I find that people that refer to themselves in the third person to be a bit pretentious.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Hell on Heels's Avatar
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    Hell-o Kas,
    I’ve noticed the 3rd person usage on this forum too. I don’t think I use it, although I’m sure at one point or another I have.
    If you were to look up the definition of the word illeism, you’ll find many reasons for the use of speaking, or writing in the third person.

    I don’t think schizophrenia has much, if anything to do with it. Although I am afraid Kristyn may have a different opinion about that!

    Much Love,
    Kristyn
    I smile because you are my friend, and
    I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I think it occurs among those that are just starting out, their fem self is probably still a stranger that has not established an identity.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  18. #18
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I'm guilty. I don't use it much when speaking. But in order to clarify my posts I do use Nikki as a separate persona. As Helen and Becky stated earlier, it's not being pretentious on my part. But as Nikki I prefer to be dressed completely, make-up, hair etc. I'm not comfortable with being in between. Usually all or nothing.

  19. #19
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    I sometimes refer to myself in the third person if I am trying to be clear as to whether I was presenting as a woman or a man at the time.
    Hugs, Carole

  20. #20
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    I have wondered that myself.
    Pretty sure I have always been me and for clarity said I was in 100% girl mode or 50/50 mode which is a mix of how I was dressed at the time.

  21. #21
    Member Carolina's Avatar
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    In my case I may be guilty as charged. But I do it, as Becky and others mentioned, for clarity purposes in the posts.

    In the real world I find it easier and even acceptable for my wife that I refer to Carolina as a third person, even if I’m one and the same. If I tell my wife that I love that skirt or I wished I had that dress, she would freak out (in case someone else overhears me). Saying that the dress would suit Carolina works far better for her (and consequently, for me too...)

    I also find it quite pretentious to speak in third person, but in this forum I’d rather err on clarity (as much as I can). Apologies if others don’t like it. I’ll try to be conscious about it and only use it when I believe the message would be (more) confusing otherwise.

  22. #22
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Majella St Gerard View Post
    I find that people that refer to themselves in the third person to be a bit pretentious.
    Pretentious? Moi?
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  23. #23
    Member Veronica4me's Avatar
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    I don't know if Veronica does it or not. She is such a diva, so I wouldn't doubt it! : )
    Veronica

    Love who you are! You are uniquely you!!

  24. #24
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I think "Jimmy" does it best! Sorry for the poor picture quality, but this may explain the OP's reasons. At least it is worth a good laugh.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apa0nG1OfUc

  25. #25
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Sometimes, it’s a Jekyll and Hyde situation. Two people sharing the same body. Referring to the other persona (whichever it happens to be at the time) in the third person is an acknowledgement of the distinction between the two.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

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