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Thread: Seeing a Therapist

  1. #1
    Member Leonora's Avatar
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    Seeing a Therapist

    I have been seeing a therapist for about a year now for different things and it came up my last session that I crossdress. She said as long as I wasn't hurting anyone it was no big deal. She said I would be surprised of how many men crossdress. I was glad to hear it and we had a good conversation about it. I thought I would share.

  2. #2
    Member Lisa516's Avatar
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    Thank you so much for sharing that, I was thinking of seeing a therapist and discussing my crossdressing. I have no childhood experiences and it's just started happening out of the blue triggered by a pair of woman's panties I guess, now I have a closet full of clothes an shoes, and dress a lot.

    Thanks
    Lisa

    I'm new here too.

  3. #3
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    It is good to feel you are not alone

  4. #4
    Member Leonora's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lisa516 View Post
    Thank you so much for sharing that, I was thinking of seeing a therapist and discussing my crossdressing. I have no childhood experiences and it's just started happening out of the blue triggered by a pair of woman's panties I guess, now I have a closet full of clothes an shoes, and dress a lot.

    Thanks
    Lisa

    I'm new here too.
    Yeah I went to a therapist for depression and anxiety issues and we just started talking about different things and it just came out. But glad it helped you some to know.

  5. #5
    Member Carolina's Avatar
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    During my many years of soul searching trying to find out what was wrong with me and the need to present as a woman whenever given the chance, I read quite a bit of psychiatry and psychology on these matters. One thing that stuck to my mind is that in one of the books it said that as long as you don’t hurt anyone and it doesn’t impact your work there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I tried to live by that, and put myself limits based on that. Now, however, I think I need to revisit the work thingy if I want to take my dressing further...

    I’ve started seeing a therapist over the last couple of months. I look forward to my sessions with her since I can come completely clean and tell her all about Carolina. I decided to see a therapist in the first place to try to understand who I am and where I am in the gender spectrum. Obviously I’m still work in progress...

  6. #6
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    I saw my doctor when I first started in earnest. I had always had a latent interest in crossdressing and had recently started new medication and suddenly become VERY interested and bought clothing etc. He said it wasn't the medication, its not illegal, its not causing anyone any harm, so don't worry - and I haven't. I hope this helps.
    Vikky
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    Adventure before dementia

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Always an eternal question, how many do cross dress.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  8. #8
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    How many men, or women for that matter, crossdress? Probably a number that will never be known, even approximately. Remember, it is not even known how many transgender (general definition) people there are. And crossdressing is a more generalized activity than people with some degree or other of reversed gender identity. So simple crossdressing, for whatever reason, should be much more abundant.

    But I think it would be a safe bet that it is many times more than most people imagine. And if asked, it is easy to deny and it is unlikely anybody will find out. The main point is though that it really does no harm unless others think they are harmed by it. Here we see stories all the time of long marriages (mine is going on 50 years) and after decades the Big Reveal occurs. Suddenly something that has been going on for years is revealed and the world comes to an end because it was never seen or hinted at and it was a big, dark secret.

    What has really changed? Only the revelation of something that the other person disagrees with and thinks, for whatever reason, you should also not agree with it. OK, so how many secrets are being kept by the other person who is freaking out because of crossdressing being revealed and if those were revealed to you how much hurt would occur for you? The harm is due to what the other person thinks and not what you do in the way of dressing in the clothes of the other sex/gender. It is really not your problem; it is their interpretation of what you do that creates a sense of being hurt. That is not harm - that is just a lack of understanding and communication. The stigmas are real, but it is not the dressing that is the problem.

  9. #9
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    Brilliant post, Gretchen

  10. #10
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    Decades ago when my wife and I first had "The Talk" I called a female therapist and had a brief conversation over the telephone. I was scared 'shitless' as the expression goes. It almost seems bizarre that my secret troubled me. My secret caused more angst than being in combat as an infantryman in Vietnam. That really seemed strange. I was more fearful of losing my wife rather than my life. Go figure. After awhile I came to conclusion I was doing nothing wrong. I searched for those answers to the "Why" question. There is no answer. I finally came to the conclusion the persons needing therapy are not the cross dressers, but, those who deem my cross dressing to be an affront to their "values." Anyway, if there are unresolved issues, and, I do believe there can be issues surrounding cross dressing, then therapy is fine. Just keep in mind the persons really needing therapy are the haters.

    Yes, I do see a counselor for war related issues. I do participate in an informal group of combat veterans. Is there a difference? Yes, we are a group of men who have either done to others or have had things done to us. Those are different ghosts to confront than confronting and living with the non acceptance of others who need the therapy.

  11. #11
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    20+ years ago I was seeing a therapist about my marital issues when I mentioned my new interest in dressing.
    She said precisely what yours did Leanora!

    Then, we moved on to my REAL problems!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  12. #12
    Member Lucy23's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leonora View Post
    I was glad to hear it and we had a good conversation about it. I thought I would share.
    Good for you! I still remember the moment my therapist said that it's okay and there was nothing wrong with me. It felt like a huge burden being torn down; no one had ever said that to me something like that. For two days I felt good about myself like never before.

    I have heard and read that many men crossdress but I really I can' bring myself to believe it...

  13. #13
    Member Read only April T's Avatar
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    I have been seeing a sex therapist and will have my 4th session this week.

    I'm wondering if anyone has every gone dressed?

  14. #14
    Junior Member DarciInTx's Avatar
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    April,

    I'm not seeing a sex therapist, but I showed up for my first appointment with counselor I'm seeing as dressed up a I have ever been - pink cable-knit sweater (with 36DD forms), black skirt, black pantyhose, 3-inch pumps, and some dangly clip-on earrings. The only thing to spoil the effect was that I haven't yet gotten to where I can shave my goatee, so I really can't do anything above the neck.

    But I figured, well, this is what I'm here to talk about, so let's get it all out in the open. And I do think it helped speed things along.

  15. #15
    Member Lucy23's Avatar
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    April, I too have have been dressed on a few occasions. My therapist suggested it, even though she had never met a crossdresser or a transgender person before. It was the second time anyone has ever seen me that way, aside from an ex girlfriend several years before that. My heart was pounding for almost the whole session.

    I was really scared, thinking what is my thinking about me. Right before the end she asked me how it felt, and I realized that we were talking just like on any previous session. My spidey sense was on the lookout for any sign of dislike, even suppressed, but found nothing. And believe me, I tried. My therapist says that every time my outfits, although simple, are well put together. The only thing she doesn't understand is that how can I walk in such high heels (4 inch).

  16. #16
    Member Read only April T's Avatar
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    Thanks for the response. I'm thinking I would like to speak as April to the therapist. I've thought about asking if she would be ok with it but a little afraid of the answer

  17. #17
    Member Read only April T's Avatar
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    Saw my therapist today. Great session. Discussed so much including HRT, my feelings and sexuality. I asked and she said that I was welcome to dress for the next session.

  18. #18
    Member Lucy23's Avatar
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    That's good news. Enjoy!

  19. #19
    Kali Sopwith Kalisopwith's Avatar
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    I went to a therapist once to talk about my dressing. She asked why I was being so dumb. She said, I dress up... so what? Who cares? Either I will do it, or I won't. It won't hurt anyone so who cares. I realized then it really isn't a big deal. It is really only a big deal to bigots and no one is going to change their minds so who cares.

  20. #20
    Member Read only April T's Avatar
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    Thanks Lucy for supportive comments. I have never thought being a CD is a bad thing but I have found my time with the therapist "therapeutic" so I will continue to go and now with a dress on!

  21. #21
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    When I was in my late teens I would dress up with friends, sometimes just one, sometimes up to four and sometimes the local girls had fun doing our makeup.
    In our 20s we kind of all went our own ways and never talked about CDing so I don't know if I'm the only one who continued.
    I am the only one who CDed at Halloween Parties and none of my friends did!
    Last edited by Judy-Somthing; 11-15-2018 at 07:13 PM.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  22. #22
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    I recently told my GF about my crossdressing, she took it very well. But I have felt this way since a young child, I saw a therapist several years back after my divorce, but I never talked about crossdressing.
    I am considering going to a therapist just to explore my thoughts and the path that has brought me here.

  23. #23
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    I recall the same sort of conversation with my therapist. Her response was, “it’s not a crime, you know’.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  24. #24
    Occasional CD Alexandra Collins's Avatar
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    At 56 years old I started dressing earlier this year. I told my therapist right away, and she was very supportive and understanding. She encouraged me to tell my significant other as well. We had been together for 5 years and were struggling in our relationship for the last few years. She was out of town for 2 weeks when I started dressing (one of the reasons I chose then to start). I waited a few days after she got back, then told her, and she was very understanding and curious. I had been wearing all her clothes (except underwear) since we are the same size in clothes and shoes! She didn't mind about that either. We see a couples therapist together as well, and have told him about my dressing and he is also very understanding and helpful. (I've since bought all my own clothes and shoes!). She's currently teaching me how to use makeup.

    So in my case, telling my therapists and my partner have worked out very well, I am so fortunate.

  25. #25
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
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    There is nothing wrong with crossdressing as there is nothing wrong with talking with a therapist, therapists need subjects to learn from as well!
    Happy to be one!
    Stacy!
    STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
    Stop breathing imagine none of this is real

    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"

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