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Thread: So much to learn

  1. #1
    Junior Member DarciInTx's Avatar
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    So much to learn

    I'm very new to this, but I'm overwhelmed by all there is to learn.

    I've had an on-again/off-again interest in wearing panties since childhood. But when I recently started farther down this journey, I sort of had the idea that,if I put on panties, a padded bra, a blouse or sweater, skirt, and high-heels, that I was cross dressing.

    But I'm beginning to see all the other aspects to it.
    • Wigs/hair style - I've thought about just growing mine out, but a) it's now short - typical male length - and would take forever to grow out b) I have a touch of male pattern baldness , and c) the gray color is not really attractive
    • Makeup - Where to begin? I haven't even figured out if my skin tone is warm, cool, or neutral.
    • Color co-ordination - as a male, I have half a dozen pairs of gray or black slacks. I pick one of them, pick any one of a dozen different dress shirts, put on my black loafers and I'm done. But the myriad of choices in women's color, patterns, styles, etc. makes my head spin
    • Accessories - purses, jewelry, shoes. Do my shoes go with my outfit? Does my purse match my shoes? What jewelry to wear? Other than my wedding ring, I have very rarely worn jewelry all my life.
    • Mannerisms - walking, sitting, gesturing, etc.
    • Voice - that one is going to be a hard one for me.


    But at the same time that it's overwhelming, having the choices is exciting.

  2. #2
    Junior Member
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    Makeup was the hardest and most intimidating thing for me.

    Watching Youtube tutorials really helped me. The are thousands of great ones.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    A few tips:

    Wigs: go to a proper wig shop and they will help you get fitted with something that works for you and will help you style it. Also make sure to ask about wig care.

    Makeup: Again, your best bet is to rely on the pros. Your local Ulta or Sephora will have employees who can help you select makeup. Sephora also has specialized Trans focused makeup classes occasionally. There are also a MILLION tutorials on YouTube.

    Clothing and accessories (because these two really go together): If you don’t have an eye for fashion, that’s ok! Lots of girls here aren’t exactly fashion mavens. Wear what you want to and what’s comfortable. If you plan on going out and being presentable, start observing women and take note of what they are wearing and how. Also, learn what stores cater to women of your age and style. If you’re 60 you should probably be shopping more at Penny’s than Hot Topic.

    Mannerisms: Again, watching women is your go-to here. Don’t worry about it too much as half the CDers I’ve met either don’t bother emulating female mannerisms or are just bad at it. My standard is “Chin up, boobs out, elbows in, and knees together”. If you can do that you’re 75% if the way there. And because it’s been a topic recently, I’ll throw in DONT CROSS YOUR LEGS. And if you absolutely have to, cross your legs at the ankle, not the knee.

    Voice: don’t even worry about this one. Honestly there isn’t a way for you to do a “Female voice” without it sounding contrived and forced.

  4. #4
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Make up is important and difficult. U can get a makeover from a professional, tho. Note what products she uses. Take photos of that look and if u like it, copy it. Or, experiment changing it in ways u like.

    Shoes and purses:
    If u just start with the basic colors, black, white, and red. They will go with most of your outfits. The problem with shoes/boots r the endless styles, cuts, and heel heights!

    Wigs: U need to try on many different cuts, styles, and colors to find what u like best. I suggest u settle on your top 3 choices to begin with. Make sure they r different in color and style.

    Over the years u will naturally collect more accessories to match the outfits u prefer. As your taste and knowledge become clear, you'll KNOW what u want/need next!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    All I can say is.....

    Enjoy the journey, there is plenty of support here. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #6
    Banned Spammer
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    Micki said it all right there I agree with all of it.
    Its a learning curve and it takes time to learn so don't get discouraged if you fail, try again and don't give up.
    Take pictures (lots of pics) downlaod them to your PC and go over them and find out where you messed up and correct what you did wrong.
    I have gotten it wrong more times than I have gotten it right and still nowhere near perfect so what can I do other than keep trying.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Sami Brown's Avatar
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    As far as colors go, you can certainly get help from a makeup counter. However, if you are like me, you aren't yet ready to face the public.

    I found a terrific book that I have reviewed and recommended on my blog if you want to take a few minutes to read about it. I was able discover both my skin tone and found plenty of colors that compliment it.

    Enjoy your journey of discovery!

    Sami

    https://crossdresserreport.com/samis...-looking-best/
    My new blog: The Crossdresser Report
    https://crossdresserreport.com/

  8. #8
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    DarciInTx,
    So much to learn

    I'm very new to this, but I'm overwhelmed by all there is to learn.

    I've had an on-again/off-again interest in wearing panties since childhood. But when I recently started farther down this journey, I sort of had the idea that, if I put on panties, added bra, a blouse or sweater, skirt, and high-heels, that I was cross dressing.
    Leslie Mary;
    You are a cross dresser. Wearing anything that is not made for your gender is cross dressing.
    The term ‘Cross dressing’ has no indicator of degree.

    DarciInTx,
    But I'm beginning to see all the other aspects to it.
    Wigs/hair style - I've thought about just growing mine out, but
    … a) it's now short - typical male length - and would take forever to grow out
    … b) I have a touch of male pattern baldness, and
    … c) the gray color is not really attractive
    Makeup - Where to begin? I haven't even figured out if my skin tone is warm, cool, or neutral.
    Color co-ordination - as a male, I have half a dozen pairs of gray or black slacks. I pick one of them, pick any one of a dozen different dress shirts, put on my black loafers and I'm done.
    But the myriad of choices in women's color, patterns, styles, etc. makes my head spin
    Accessories - purses, jewelry, shoes. “Do my shoes go with my outfit?” “Does my purse match my shoes?” What jewelry to wear?
    … …Other than my wedding ring, I have very rarely worn jewelry all my life.
    Mannerisms - walking, sitting, gesturing, etc.
    Voice - that one is going to be a hard one for me.

    But at the same time that it's overwhelming, having the choices is exciting.
    Leslie Mary;
    The best thing I can tell you here is speak softer in a mid-range natural to you. Think Loren Bacall
    Leslie Mary Shy
    Remember this:
    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
    _________________________

  9. #9
    Silver Member
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    Darci, at age 67, your using makeup can be a challenge. I know, being in my 80s. Google Sephoras salons, and try to find one in your close area. As Micki said, many of their salons hold classes for trans people. See if your closest one does. Its free and worth the while!

  10. #10
    Member Anne E's Avatar
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    Confidence. Self-acceptance.

  11. #11
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    Darci,
    I'm the same age so don't let it put you off we can still enjoy the whole learning experience .

    As others have said accept wearing a wig but it's more important in our age group to go to a wig outlet and be guided by an expert on colour and style . Makeup is easier because you can go into most retail outlets and get a skin colour check made , they will then demonstrate how to apply it , all it cost is the price of the items . I go to Boots in the UK but they now have outlets in the US because they are now an American owned company . They will aslo give you a colour chart for recommended items to match your foundation colour .

    Matching outfits and appropriate items to wear for the time of day and venue comes with practice , that's the part I really enjoy , don't forget women do get it wrong sometimes when you take a look around .

    Jewellery , I've found less is better , too much bling is a giveaway as is excessive makeup . I'm out full time and use my normal voice , it really isn't a big problem , it's important to remember very few of us pass 100% so try not to fall into that trap because it can hurt if you do get caught out . I know I'm read most of the time , I accept I go out as Teresa and not as a woman people will respect you far more for that and accept you , I haven't had a single bad experience yet and it's almost a year now .

    Mannerisms , movement and deportment again look around but don't go OTT , some women are very elegant and some have two left feet, that's life we are all different . My main problem is I had to learn to take shorter strides but still walk too fast even in heels . Last time I went to the cinema I could hear my heels on the pavement so could hear my tempo , I allowed people to walk passed me which I don't do so much if in male mode , it did feel more ladylike .

    We are more aware of being out than other people , they don't take that much notice if you intend to blend in , confidence is the key , believe in yourself , keep your head up and smile, that wins most people over , I find a good sense of humour helps , sometimes we have to learn to laugh at ourselves and not take it all too seriously .
    Last edited by Teresa; 11-17-2018 at 10:41 PM.

  12. #12
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    In my opinion, this is one activity that is actually fun to practice. Jade

  13. #13
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    Welcome to the team! My recommendation would be to start slowly. In terms of makeup, I echo what others say about YouTube tutorials. They are invaluable. Also, I always recommend starting out with inexpensive make up from your local dollar store or bargain retailer. First of all, you don't want to be experimenting with $150 worth of fancy makeup. Second, cheap makeup comes off much easier when it's time to go back to drab mode. In terms of wigs, if you live near an urban area visit an ethnic beauty supply store. They always have a ton of wigs in every imaginable color and style for reasonable prices ($50-$150). I wouldn't recommend straying from that price point. Any cheaper and it looks like a Halloween gag. I would also recommend opting for lacefront wigs which look a bit more natural along the hairline. The only other comment I will add is about dressing, jewelry and mannerisms. I find that the trick is to be at ease. The more you worry about looking and acting a certain way, the more likely to become a caricature of a woman and will inevitably draw extra attention to yourself. Admittedly, that can be fun in private and in certain public settings.

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