Living with my ex... Not enough time to be myself

[KatieEvans1989]

Hey...

Looking for some advice. As titled, I currently live with my ex Girlfriend... Although I think she may think we're getting back together I don't feel the same anymore. I haven't made any signals to her otherwise.

I'm off work this week and was hoping to have a few girly days to myself and she then announces that shes off work Tuesday & Wednesday... Great. All she ever does is sit on my sofa watching my tv.

One of the reasons we broke up.

Recently I've decided I can't lock Katie in a box anymore and a month ago I completely shaved myself clean and she asked me why and forever asks me when I'm growing my beard back. And has also said 'where is the (male name) I fell in love with gone?' I replied with dead!

For at least 5 years now our sex life has been vanilla at very very best and before we split we hadn't touched for months anyway. I find it boring and wish I was the girl in the relationship.

Help...

[Taylor186]

Sounds like it is time to move on. You are not doing her any favors by sticking around.

[Eemz]

OK I'll bite... living with your ex... Why? That's guaranteed to be a train wreck even without mixing anything else in.

[Micki_Finn]

Just dress. What’s the worst that could happen? She moves out? Sounds like a win-win!

[KatieEvans1989]

Purely financial... Also being locked into an 18 month tenancy. Very very little I can do about it atm.

[Tracii G]

Ask the landlord for an early legal release.
Why live with an Ex it just ends up being a continuation of hell.

[KymG]

I guess she doesnt know about Katie?

[KatieEvans1989]

I rent from an estate agent...
Then there's the problem that I can't afford a place on my own not whilst I have a car and I need a car for work... My mum is moving into a 2 bed house within the next few months so I should have a little more freedom if it needs be...

I own all the stuff in the apartment... Which causes another issue.

[Sami Brown]

If the ex isn't on the lease, then it is simple. Tell her she has until the weekend to move out.

If she is on the lease, well your femme side is just going to have to stick it out. In the meantime, consider getting yourself a second job so that your finances allow you more flexibility on your housing and your life.

Since you are done with this relationship, every day that you don't do something to fix it is another day you choose not to be happy.

Sami

[KatieEvans1989]

She's a listed tenant. However, I am lead tenant. In the eye's of the law it's my flat...

[docrobbysherry]

I agree with Micki. None of your excuses explain why u don't just be Katie whenever u like!

What's the worst that could happen? No sex?

[JustMe!]

Completely agree with my fellow members here. Just let Katie out, unless doing so would involve your Ex in being vengeful or something! In which case, I agree with just getting her out since you said you own everything as it is!

[Tracii G]

I will ad my vote for having her leave because it sounds like she is using you because she knows your weak spots.
Moving in with your Mom at 29 years old makes you the user just like your ex is doing you now.
I would feel like a loser if I were an adult and had to move back home.I would do whatever it took to stay on my own.
I left home at 18 and never looked back.

[AmandaRaquel]

I agree with Micki - go and dress up. See how she reacts.
Just tell her that this has been your fantasy and you want to try it out.
Life is too short. Especially because it sounds like you are stuck with her to be around for some time.

[Glenda58]

Tell her you're a crossdresser and you want to dress up. She can neither help with your dressing or leave. Just don't be mean when you tell her. You should have told long ago.

[Eemz]

Taking the OP at face value I would say this. The best thing about someone being your ex is that you don't have to follow their rules any more. It's your lease, your furniture, your life. Live it the way you want. If she doesn't like it, she knows where the door is.

There are some odd things in the OP however. It reads like a relationship that's ongoing, not one that's over. You say "she may think we're getting back together"... that's easily fixed, but you're not doing it. And your last sentence "I wish I was the girl in the relationship" ... what relationship? it's over, right? I think two things. First - you need to let Katie out of the box. This relationship may or may not survive that, but it needs to happen because you're not going to be happy in any relationship that's not based on the real you.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Be kind, tell her your plans in advance, Dress the way you want. The rest will sort itself out in 18 months or less.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is time to readjust your life and terminate the relationship.

As for a relationship I would like to hear the other side, it appears that she still has feelings for you and that probably needs assessment.

[April T]

How do you define split? Sounds like you're still together since she appears to think its still a relationship. If you haven't had sex or months, then what she doing for excitement?

[Rachelakld]

For me, If I wanted to be the "girl in the relationship", I would find a boyfriend.

Dress as often as you like

Open up the option of a boarder or boyfriend staying there - make profit on lease.


Maybe I'm not that good with giving advice

[faltenrock]

Just dress. What’s the worst that could happen? She moves out? Sounds like a win-win!

I totally agree with Micki.

There might also be another outcome. Perhaps once she knows about your dressing, the relationship could improve and perhaps she would be supportive as a friend or even again as a partner.
Just go ahead and dress at home. You may give her a notice or not, it's only your business how you do it and when.

[Patricia_Campi]

Ok, my opinion on this... I am a real state agent in Brazil, so I don´t know the laws where you live, but I assure you there is something you can do (legally) about her. IMHO, there is no reason for her to be living with you. You can find another job, you can find another room mate, you can even end you contract and move in with you mother.

Don´t delay your life because of her!

My two cents.

Kisses

Patricia

[~Joanne~]

There is a reason why she is called an "EX". Living with her under any conditions seems insane to me.

[suzanne]

Your situation doesn't sound like much of a hell. You don't have to worry whether or not she's accepting of your dressing. If she objects, she can just shove off. I just hope she's not the same size as you. You could lose a dress or two.

[Kas]

As everyone else has said, if she’s your ex, why is there any problem? Do what you want. F*** that B****.