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Thread: Attracted to men even more when I'm dressed... But I'm married...

  1. #1
    New Member Maggy999's Avatar
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    Attracted to men even more when I'm dressed... But I'm married...

    I've always have had my crossdressing linked to my sexuality.. At 18 years old it got to another level when I met my first "DADDY". Being a shy person I always got hit on by girls even kissed and talked dirty but never went further than that. Well when I met my first "DADDY" On a Yahoo chat room it went a little different.. We chatted pretty heavily about fantasies that included us both together but sooner than later he was ordering things for me to wear and setting up a date for the first meet up. Unlike with girls I was excited and eager to be with him sexually right there and then.. Long story short at 18 I lost my virginity to this man I called DADDY and had no regrets about it.. Shortly after that experience I actually became more confident with girls and had sex with them as much as possible which was a lot.. Not showing off by the way it was true.. Anyways years have passed and I'm married now with kids and no lie am happy with where I am and where it can go but the craving for other things (being with men while dressed) just don't go away and I'm not fighting to let them go either. I've spoken to my wife about it so she knows.. Is she happy with it? No. Does she want any part of it? No. Am I considering going behind her back to fulfill these urge? Well.......... LOL let's just say it's hard to deal with.. So with that said.. Does anyone else deal with this?

  2. #2
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    Pretty common subject around here but if you are married just don't do it because you will get caught eventually.
    Getting caught means you lose your wife and kids and you get to pay for your house with another man living there with your ex wife and you get to live in a hell hole of an apt and have no money.

  3. #3
    New Member Maggy999's Avatar
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    Pretty straight forward answer.. Harsh but reality I guess.. But what do you do about the urges and feelings you bottle up?

  4. #4
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    Well if you have those urges you need to look to yourself and do the right thing for your family first.
    Urges in this case are fantasies so they need to remain fantasies. IMO.
    I don't bottle things up because I have accepted who I am and I'm not hiding who I am.
    A lot of it is I am trans and not just a crossdresser.

    Not saying being a crossdresser is a bad thing because I do it to and have for a long time. I've just moved on from being just a CD to living my life my way.
    We are all different so no one way is better than any other.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 11-14-2018 at 02:22 AM.

  5. #5
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    If I just paraphrase the OP: when I was young I had a sexual fantasy which I acted out and enjoyed, now I'm married with kids and I've told my partner about my fantasy and she's not happy but I'm thinking about cheating on her to get my end away.

    I suppose you need to decide what's important to you: a few cheated moments behind the bikesheds followed by years of guilt, or, a being a father figure to your kids and a partner to your wife?

    Yes, it really is as stark as that.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Maggy,

    Do you want a fantasy or a marriage?

    Think about it long and hard.......
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  7. #7
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    Just to play the devils advocate...

    Simple. Wait for your wife and kids to go out of town and hire a prostitute so there’s no commitment and you can live out your fantasy. Not saying I’ve done this or that I would, but it’s an option. I know everyone is gonna hate me for saying this, but you probably won’t get caught unless you do something dumb.

    Many of my guy friends have used prostitutes while married/in a relationship and nothing has ever come of it.

    The vast majority of member on this site will always look down on the rest of us from their moral high-ground because they think it makes them look/feel good. But in reality (I hope) we all know life is a little more complicated.
    Last edited by Kas; 11-14-2018 at 04:30 AM.

  8. #8
    New Member Maggy999's Avatar
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    Technically it wouldn't be considered fantasy if you actually did it though.. But I get what your saying..

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Kas your crazy...lol... No I think I'm cool on the paying a prostitute idea but I might be the one to charge the guy..jk.. Joking but that is one crazy idea. Wow!

  9. #9
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kas View Post
    The vast majority of member on this site will always look down on the rest of us from their moral high-ground because they think it makes them look/feel good. But in reality (I hope) we all know life is a little more complicated.
    Really? Do you really think that? If I think that someone cheating on their wife (knowing she will disapprove and knowing that they had committed never to do that) is morally wrong, I am simply looking down on them from my 'moral high ground' for my own glorification? Well you are wrong. And no it doesn't make it allright to use a prostitute. Would the OP be happy if her wife used a male prostitute while she was away? The double standards here are shocking. Marraige is a partnership with mutually agreed boundaries and neither party has any right to move those boundaries without the approval of the other, period. If you do not believe that then marraige is not for you.

  10. #10
    The Girl will Out! Kaz's Avatar
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    I guess a lot of us who 'dress' will have these fantasies. After all, we are expressing the female within and that will lead to 'what if' moments. There are escort agancy sites that will provide you with a 'date'... I have never done that, but I know some of us who have. I just love the fantasy! xx
    Kaz xx

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    This Woman Within is Flying without Wings

  11. #11
    A Sweet Girl Roxanne Lanyon's Avatar
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    So many intriguing thoughts here! Well, girls, I am divorced, and unaccompanied. I fantasize, and it is nice! Roxanne will always be a happy girl, even if she is older now. Hell, I might even be a good wife!
    Roxanne Lanyon
    As Sweet As I Can Ever Be

  12. #12
    Member biancabellelover's Avatar
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    My 2c:

    Your point of view is that your Crossdressing is triggering sexual fantasies. These fantasies are about having sex with a man while dressed, and are so strong that you told them to your wife, presumably to get her permission.

    Unsurprisingly, she didn’t think much of the idea. I doubt very much she cares what is triggering your fantasies or if it’s sex with a man; as far as she is concerned you want to have sex with someone else. Infidelity. What makes this worse for her is that it’s not even that it’s an attractive co-worker, friend or neighbor. The object of your infidelity is some random man who you don’t even know.

    Plenty of wives and husbands have had your problem, or similar. Some resist, some don’t.

    What you have to decide is whether fulfilling your fantasy is worth the risk of losing your wife, house, significant part of your income and children five days per week.

    Michelle

  13. #13
    New Member Maggy999's Avatar
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  14. #14
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    Being unfaithful is being unfaithful, doesn't matter what clothes you are wearing at the time.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  15. #15
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Maggy, I'm married, which means I have committed to one person. Unless she was to give me a hall pass which I am not asking for, its only her.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  16. #16
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    on the prostitute idea, you may get more than you want { STD }

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by chelyann View Post
    on the prostitute idea, you may get more than you want { STD }
    Chelyann, on the going with an unknown man (or woman) front, the same applies.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by chelyann View Post
    on the prostitute idea, you may get more than you want { STD }
    As someone that has been through prostitution, I needed to stop eventually, out of fear of going infected. All they do is hustle you out of money from my experience, whether they want sex from you, food, (if they're homeless/in and out of jail), or drugs. They did that compulsively to me in order for me to keep them around for sex. I'm not morally stuck up in any way, but I eventually had a problem of being used. So good point.
    Last edited by Lygophilia; 11-14-2018 at 09:47 AM.

  19. #19
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    Its not a "moral high ground " thing at all, its just a warning from people that have been down that road and know what they are talking about.
    Of course at 30 I thought I knew everything too and was the last to know my wife of 12 years had banged all my friends and even the postman more than once.
    Yes it got ugly and I hurt a lot of people which if I had been smart I would have let it go because she wasn't worth it.
    So infidelity is never the right thing to do.

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member Desiree2bababe's Avatar
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    Oh yes, I can relate. While I was attracted to girls growing up, had girlfriends etc. all the while being a transvestite, it wasn't until I met a man that I popped my virginity so to speak. I continued to swing both ways even after marriage with my wife's knowledge I might add. And same as you, she doesn't like it but accepts it. As I've grown older I've come to the realization that pleasing a man is much more gratifying to me than pleasing a woman ever had been. Had society been as it is now, I'm sure I would have went the other route and been totally gay, perhaps even as far as transitioning. But alas, it wasn't and I really have no regrets. I enjoy being a man and being a woman when I can, just wish I had the body I had in my youth.

  21. #21
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    There are two things to consider here:

    1) Having sex or even "dates" with anyone but your wife is cheating. Male or female, dressed as a man or a woman. It doesn't matter, it's cheating. If you want to stay married to your wife, if you want to live in the same house as your children, don't do it.

    2) Strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig does not make you a woman. A man having sex with another man is homosexual sex even if one is dressed as a woman. I'm not trying to imply that gay sex is wrong, just point out that wearing boobs and a wig doesn't change anything.

    Having fantasies of being a woman and having sex with men is one thing, I suspect many of us do that. Actually doing it is way different.
    Krisi

  22. #22
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
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    There is no acceptable way or reason to cheat. It doesn't make it more acceptable that you're married to a woman and have desires for a man. Even if you weren't married but were in a committed relationship, still not acceptable. My wife cheated because she came to see/think of me as a woman and she "needed" a man. Didn't make it right.

    I think that now more than ever, people should explore their sexuality and gender curiosity to the fullest before they ever commit to anybody. This is not the times I grew up in, and the way it was done when I was coming of age don't work anymore, and the acceptability/opportunity for "alternative" lifestyles is vastly greater than it's ever been. Too late for you to do that to whatever extent it would have taken for you to be settled in your decision to marry a woman.

    Keep the fantasy and enjoy the hell out of it... as a fantasy. If you cheat (and it sounds like you will), it's not just something you do one day on your lunch break. It alters your life and your marriage. Your relationship with your wife will never be the same. I see on here that sometimes there's the thought that you can just do it and get it our of your system. That maybe you won't like it and it'll renew your resolve and commitment to your marriage. In your case, you already know you like it. Sounds like you know full well it won't be a one time thing. If this is the case, then marriage (or any committed relationship to a woman) is just not for you.

    This is a powerful thing. Not something to be trifled with. I'm divorced, but I'm a big fan of marriage and a big fan on monogamy and commitment. Once you step across that line, it's all over with.

    Using myself as an example after 30 years married and 10 years divorced. No one was more committed or more in love that I was. I had no desire to cheat with anybody, ever. Knowing what I know now after 10 years of being single, if I had ever crossed that line with a male at any point in my marriage, I would not have been able to resist continuing. I think it's the same way with men who cheat with women. Once they do it once, they'll do it again.

    I hope you can stay married, keep the fantasy, act on it in a fantasy sort of way in the bedroom or whatever, and be fulfilled by it in a fantastical sort of way, but don't cheat.

  23. #23
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    ……….. I think it's the same way with men who cheat with women. Once they do it once, they'll do it again...…..
    That's not necessarily true. Just like so many other things in life, one can stop if one wants to. The trick is to really want to. And to understand what you may lose if you don't stop.
    Krisi

  24. #24
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
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    Krisi,
    My brush was a little broad with that statement, but my point (to your point) is that you should understand what you may lose... before you start.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Congrats on being bi, cheating is still cheating and it doesn’t make you any less of a cheater because it’s a man.

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