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Thread: Is it true about women and crossdressers?

  1. #26
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    The most shocking thing to me, when I came out about my dressing, was how much women were supportive. My sister even started buying me stuff.

    In fact, I have yet to meet a woman who has a problem with it.

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member Traci H's Avatar
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    I find women to be hypocritical in their thought process. It seems like my wife, they are very liberal and supportive of the trans movement in general, but then take a “Not in my backyard” stance. Baffles me to no end. It really should not as I recall a quote from the back of a Biff Rose album that stated. “There are only two ways to handle a woman, and no one knows either one.”

  3. #28
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    Yes, no... Maybe...

    It really depends on the woman.

    All the girls here in a DADT relationship with their spouse can attest to that.

  4. #29
    Woman in the making Mickitv's Avatar
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    The only time I have found women very accepting to me as a crossdresser was during a professional makeover of somekind. She is certainly being well paid to assist me with mostly makeup (which I still have problems with) and at times dressing. I have had a dinner dressed with a women but only after a particular makeover. Hope this helps.

  5. #30
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Helen,
    Understanding your motives does help with some before becoming a friend , personally I've found being committed to going full time removes some issues , they have to build up a trust which is both difficult and confusing if we flip flop between states . Everyone in my new home town have only seen me dressed so I'm forming friendships only as Teresa which is working out just fine .
    The real me ,no going back.

  6. #31
    Continuing the journey Tina Davis's Avatar
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    TraciH, I absolutely agree with you - my wife is quite supportive of the LGBT community, but has never been happy with my dressing. She married a man, that's all she wants.

  7. #32
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I don’t know that I’d call it “hypocritical” for women to support lgbtq issues but not want to be in a relationship with one. I fully support your right to listen to Barry Manilow all day, but I’m not going to date someone that does.

  8. #33
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    I believe Kelly's figures r overly optimistic!
    I like Kelly's figure. Uh, figures. I've found that the pool of females that appear to be more tolerant to admiring are generally in the <30 ladies.
    And I really don't know the percentage.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member LeannS's Avatar
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    My wife accepts the people that come through her doctors office as she is a nurse has no problem with them EXCEPT one me !! My daughter said the same thing a couple weeks ago while her and mom was talking about lgbqt and they said they are both accepting and I laughed under my breath and thought yes you are NOT
    If you can't laugh and have fun you might as well go home.

  10. #35
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    NO. Most women are repulsed by thought of their male crossdressing. That said, they may have platonic friends with whom they help dress. I do not find this at all hypocritical of women. Being supportive of LGBT and wanting a relationship with one are two different things.

  11. #36
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    FWIW, the odds of one's SO being accepting probably go up if one is honest and unashamed when having "the talk" early on in the relationship. That's not saying much, because most women (I suspect) will not be accepting, but when you take the deception out of the picture, you are making a statement about your respect for the other person. Do not underestimate the power in that gesture.

  12. #37
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    I've had both ends of the acceptance/non acceptance spectrum in my two marriages.The first time I went about things in the totally wrong way, she found out about my deciept and it was always a bone of contention.The fact we lasted 10 years was a minor miracle.

    I vowed if I ever met someone else I would be upfront,it so happens I met my wife online,so she knew from the beginning so that was a better starting point and we've been together 13 years,Ive always had her support and understanding and I know I'm so lucky and of course I know never to take that for granted

    Yes its rare but there are accepting women out there,honesty certainly does help when entering a relationship.

    Sophie
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

    ========================================

    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
    A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
    Facebook:Sophie Johnson

  13. #38
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I think it depends on the woman's background and her relationship to the crossdresser. Some women believe that crossdressing is abominable, others don't care one way or the other, while still others champion the blurring of genders in an increasingly gender-neutral world. As to relationships, I doubt the majority of women would want to help someone they know very little. But, if he is a good friend, she might want to help in order to support him. Or, if she is a romantic partner, she might support someone's right to crossdress in theory while at the same time reluctant to see her own husband do it.

    So you see, there is no general rule.
    Reine

  14. #39
    Aspiring Member Pumped's Avatar
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    My wife is open to my dressing, but not very interested in participating. She does not want to see me dressed fully, but she enjoys me dressed as a man in lingerie.

  15. #40
    New Member CallMeHeather's Avatar
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    My girlfriend and I both are very interested in crossing gender lines. We like CD/TS, M2F, F2M, etc. It's something we knew we had in common before we became an item. I think because of this shared interest she is supportive and just as curious as I am about exploring this side of me and seeing where it goes.

    In other words, my GF knew what she was getting into, so it's not like I revealed some hidden side of myself and asked her to accept it. (When I hear about bad situations when a CD husband comes out, it often seems to be of the "this is not what I signed up for" variety.) In our case, she knew what she saw in me and she wanted to draw it out.

  16. #41
    ladydreamingdanish
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    Thank you for your comments. Yes I agree that easier if both start relationship knowing about crossdressing then a sudden surprise or revelation. In my situation, my GF encouraged I don't just wear nylons to keep my legs warm but also begin wearing ladies under wear to go with the nylons.

  17. #42
    AKA Lexi Read only sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly DeWinter View Post
    There are .23 out of 100 woman are actually attracted to or prefer crossdressing men.
    That's pretty close to what I found over the years. And then, you have to deal with all the OTHER problems of matching up with a mate. In short, not good odds. And if you're not generally attractive in the first place? Oh well. So much for that idea
    Quote Originally Posted by Beverley Sims View Post
    Some are, most are not attracted at all, in fact they are repulsed by the thought.
    Exactly
    Quote Originally Posted by Shayla View Post
    if you want a participatory GG, look for a single pansexual girl in her 20's...should be no problem!
    Yep, no problem for a 60 y/o man at all. I'm sure there are long lines of 20 y/o babes looking for 60 y/o crossdressers out there.
    Quote Originally Posted by RachelPortugal View Post
    You could also wonder if women are attracted to gay men.
    There are a lot of women who initially find gay men attractive who are generally attractive in the first place, well dressed, in shape, and are knowledgeable about things that women find interesting.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly View Post
    FWIW, the odds of one's SO being accepting probably go up if one is honest and unashamed when having "the talk" early on in the relationship. That's not saying much, because most women (I suspect) will not be accepting, but when you take the deception out of the picture, you are making a statement about your respect for the other person. Do not underestimate the power in that gesture.
    Still won't make the guy in a dress an automatic turn on to that woman.
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    So you see, there is no general rule.
    Actually, there is. And there are exceptions, like in many other rules, but the rule stands. If we want to date women, we cannot be crossdressers. It's like swimming the english channel; don't do it with cinderblocks tied to your ankles. While there are certainly a few people who could manage it, the vast majority would drown.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  18. #43
    Silver Member DanaR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alwayshave View Post
    It is true that most women have a problem with it. I was lucky to find a women who is accepting and encouraging, however I know that she prefer I wasn't a CD.
    I agree. My wife has been accepting, but has taken quite a while to get to that. She has gone out with me dressed many times.

    One of the interesting things that I’ve noticed, when we meet others when I’m dressed, is that my wife is always questioned about how could let me do that. I’ve mentioned to my wife that she shouldn’t say we are married, but good friends; which we are.
    Dana Ryan

  19. #44
    Aspiring drama queen Isabella Ross's Avatar
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    I think the answer is partly related to age. And sometimes culture. I think younger women aren't threatened as much by feminine men and crossdressing, and they're freer to explore a relationship with a feminine man and less likely to reject based on cultural norms and fears. There are even some credible studies that suggest women are increasingly looking for feminine qualities in a mate. From a cultural perspective, I also think that where you live in this world makes a difference. In conservative, more religious regions, I think women tend to be less accepting. I would agree that the percentage of women who are actually clearly attracted to a crossdresser is probably quite low, but the younger the woman, the more open she is to acknowledging that attraction. I for one am married to a woman who accepts me completely...partly because she believes everyone should be free to live their lives in whatever way they want (within reason, of course), and partly because she actually is often attracted to me when I'm feminine and dressed.

  20. #45
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    Actually, there is. And there are exceptions, like in many other rules, but the rule stands. If we want to date women, we cannot be crossdressers. It's like swimming the english channel; don't do it with cinderblocks tied to your ankles. While there are certainly a few people who could manage it, the vast majority would drown.
    You'd be surprised at how many women would be OK with it, as long as it's approached the right way. This is a recent post by one of our GGs here, if you would like to understand how best to approach the telling:

    Quote Originally Posted by confused_cathreen View Post
    Dear kim, the answer always is by having a detailed discussion while dressed as she met you: a male. Without distractions, not when expecting interruptions, not first thing in the morning or last thing at night and not in a public place. Use the word "crossdresser" and don't downplay it or make it sound like a fetish. Give her a detailed appraisal of the how's and why's and be ready to play 1001 questions. I will tell you a thing you don't hear often here; whatever comes out of this conversation, if she never had to deal with this before, her state of mind will require care for quite a long time after. It's important you often ask her questions yourself about her concerns and if she has any. Don't sit back and think, well I told her now, if she wants to know something, she will ask. A lot of women internalise a million times more than you can imagine. Don't assume anything because chances are, you'll be wrong. Equally as important is that you volunteer without prompting your thought process. If you are struggling, tell her. If you are worried, tell her. But most of all, be clear about what this means to you. Don't downplay it and don't feed her bs in bitesize because it's easier to swallow. Respect her as you hope she will respect you. Best of luck.
    I acknowledge the OP also asked about a woman's inclination to help with the CDing. Not every woman would be willing to do that (not every man would want help with it ... my SO didn't). But, she can certainly accept that her SO crossdresses.
    Last edited by ReineD; 12-03-2018 at 06:25 PM.
    Reine

  21. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    Short answer: No

    Long answer: your statement is a gross generalization and CANNOT be true because there are women we know have no appreciation for it, as we have first hand accounts on this site of women reacting very badly.

    Here is my best guess: Many women are tolerant or at least indifferent to men crossdressing in general.

    A few women are tolerant or indifferent to their SO dressing.

    A few of THOSE women are willing to participate in or encourage their SO’s dressing.

    A few of THOSE woman are actually attracted to or prefer crossdressing men.

    So what you have is a fraction of a fraction of a percentage. So yes there are women attracted to crossdressers, but it’s a very very small number compared to the whole. This person who claims that all women like crossdressers is either biased by very skewed and statistically anomalous experience, writing from a fantasy perspective, or is flat out lying. Why would you think there were so many threads here about relationship issues if women liked CDs?
    Well said. You're one smart lady Mikki.

  22. #47
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    What "kind" of a CDer are you referring to? There are a zillion different "flavors" of CDer.

    And just like no 2 CDers will ever be exactly alike, the same applies to women even if they are identical twins.

    What is undisputed FACT is what I have seen in/on numerous OLD sites over a 12 year off and on span.

    Some ladies will insist on a bald man. Some will insist on a man with a full head of hair. Some will insist on a larger man and/or a hairy guy or one with a beer belly. The list is endless. While I never saw a profile where a woman insisted that all potential candidates must be a CDer of some flavor, some did give at least indirect indications in their profile.

    Let me ask you something. Would YOU be OK dating a woman who might be a CDer? One who might like to (at least sometimes) bind her breasts when she dressed as a man?

  23. #48
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    When I was about twenty two I went into a Girdle Store to get an All-in-one.
    Said it was for my girl friend, well they didn't believe me and got me to admit it was for me.

    The two sales women were so nice, they took my measurements and help me pick something nice.
    They also sold me some nice foam breast forms. So cool!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  24. #49
    MtF Transgender JeanTG's Avatar
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    My experience with women and crossdressing is limited to my wife and SAs in the stores I shop at. In that experience, I can say that women, in general, seem fascinated by us. The SAs are very helpful in helping me pick out pretty items that go well with me. I suspect they enjoy the challenge, and are genuinely curious.

    But for most women, that curiosity comes to a crashing end if it's their SO who crossdresses. My wife doesn't embrace. She doesn't accept. I can't even say she tolerates. She's openly hostile about it. It isn't even DADT. It's "I can always tell buster, and if I catch evidence you have been dressing again I will rip your eyeballs out with my fingernails...". Well I exaggerate a wee bit, but there is NOTHING about crossdressing that she appreciates.

  25. #50
    Rotten 80's child Nicole Erin's Avatar
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    This is the cynical way to look at things but i tend to assume people will not accept.
    A lot of women are supportive of the TG community, as long as it isn't anyone close to them.

    To slightly alter something i read years ago -

    An honest woman draws the line of gender in public while the hypocrite draws it at the bedroom door.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

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