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Thread: Dancing in high heels?

  1. #1
    Junior Member DarciInTx's Avatar
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    Dancing in high heels?

    Remember, I'm a newbie at this. And they say the only stupid question is the one you don't ask, so here goes...

    From time to time, some members mention going out dancing. That set my mind to wondering - how do you learn to dance in high heels? Or as a woman?

    I used to be a pretty competent county-western dancer, and also done some ballroom, swing, and disco. Although I've developed some balance issues as I've grown older, and I'm not sure I could still do that in full guy mode.

    But I can hardly walk in high heels without breaking my neck. I can't imagine what it would take to dance in them. And I think skill in that only comes from repeated practice - but how do you get the practice on a dance floor when you can't do it to begin with.

    And then there's the issue of dancing as a woman. I can lead, but how do you switch to following? And, I get the impression that many times the dancing is with other women. Who leads, who follows, or how does that work.

    Maybe dumb questions, but [my] inquiring mind wants to know.
    Last edited by DarciInTx; 11-17-2018 at 10:23 AM. Reason: Remove link

  2. #2
    Member Anne E's Avatar
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    Dancing shoes. They are not like the pumps that you buy in the mall. At least mine aren’t, anyway. I want to fly.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member RachelPortugal's Avatar
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    My wife would wear 4" heels when she was in her 20's. Walking and driving in them was never an issue for her, but on the dance floor anything other than a smoochy dance would inevitably lead to her kicking of the heels and dancing in bare or stocking feet.
    Rachel,

    As a crossdresser my personality has several facets. Therefore, I suppose I can be forgiven for being facetious.

  4. #4
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
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    It's a motor skill! and so requires a massive amount of practice.
    I perform in thin flats, even that requires practice!

    Then to the "Who Leads" and how? Well this is where I'm glad I don't care, It's dance!
    Stacy!
    STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
    Stop breathing imagine none of this is real

    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I thought it was lots of practice to get it right.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #6
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    A bit surprised by the answers thus far. I have always loved dancing, in heels in flats, in walking boots. I just get up and dance my heart out. As said it is a motor skill. May be the trick is simply. You start young and you can just do it.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Darcin,
    It's actually easier to dance in heels than flat male shoes as long as the shoes fit well . The swivel points are smaller so toe and heel movements flow better , I feel so clumsy when trying to dance in male mode . Also the movement of certain clothes does add to the flow of the dance. I can't wait for the Xmas party season to kick off to get on the bance floor .
    Last edited by Teresa; 11-17-2018 at 12:30 PM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    1) Baby steps. First you learn to walk in heels, then you learn to dance. Once you have the walking down and you’ve learned to shift your balance from your heels to the balls of your feet, dancing comes easier.

    2) I don’t know about the other girls but I don’t do any kind of formal, structured dancing such as ballroom, just go to nightclubs. So leading and following isn’t really an issue. Though if you can lead you can follow. Just so everything exactly backwards.

  9. #9
    New Member KatieEvans1989's Avatar
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    I'm already sorted on this. I just don't dance... PERIOD! lol

    Haven't been out as Katie and in male mode I only listen to 'dance' music, which you don't really dance to. You kinda throw yourself around. lol

  10. #10
    1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    Act like you know,
    You'll be in the show .

    Start kicking up your heels.

    Or.. Help Is On The Way .

    - Lydianne.

  11. #11
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I dance around in my apartment alone, in 5 inch heels. never been out on a dance floor CD'd. Only have danced as a guy in guy mode. Would like to try it once, but don't like bars and super loud noisy music. I like music from 1930's through 1970's mostly, not today's music.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Eemz's Avatar
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    Oh this is something I would *love* to do too. I have done some partner dancing in the past, mostly Lindy Hop, but only in male mode and always as the lead of course. Darci - I don't know what it's like in TX but in Ireland it's very common for women to dance together because there are never enough men, and one of the women will lead, the other follows and nobody thinks anything of it.

  13. #13
    Member Anne E's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eemz View Post
    ... in Ireland it's very common for women to dance together because there are never enough men, and one of the women will lead, the other follows and nobody thinks anything of it.
    It depends on where I go dancing and what kind of dancing it is. There are some groups who do partner dancing where the men wear pants and lead and the women wear dresses and follow. But there are groups where people might come alone or with their partners, who might be the same gender or different, and leaders lead and followers follow and if you come alone and you think who you are and who you dance with needs explanation, there are pins that you can borrow at the door, or not if don't want one.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    Though if you can lead you can follow. Just so everything exactly backwards.
    This is absolutely, completely, NOT TRUE! The reason I am so irked by this statement is because I see this toxic attitude a lot in my dance classes. Some guys think they are good leaders and decide they want to try following out of curiosity. Since I am equally adept at both I am usually the one they ask to lead them. Most of the time it feels like I am slinging around a 100+ pound bag of flour. The point is, following is its own unique skill and needs to be respected as such.

    Don't EVER have the mindset that because you know how to lead you automatically know how to follow. There are professional dance instructors who have over 20 years experience and they will flat out tell you they are horrible followers. It's really annoying to see the lead (almost always a guy) get all the praise and accolades while the follower is seen as nothing but a prop. So, again, please take the role of follower seriously if you really want to learn.

    Assuming you do want to learn I will post a lengthy post later on because I am headed out the door to go...dancing! Whether you seriously want to learn or not make sure you have fun or what's the point!

  15. #15
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I guess the main difference between Steffi dancing and boy me dancing is that boy me is very self conscious and needs two beers before being able to get on the dance floor. Last year at Keystone there was a DJ playing tunes, but no one dancing. Steffi tried to talk some other girls into dancing, but no one was interested. So, Steffi went on to the dance floor and danced alone, without any liquid courage, until others finally joined her.

    Remember the saying about Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Fred Astaire got all the credit for being a great dancer, but Ginger Rogers did it backwards and on heels.

    Forget the rules; just dance.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  16. #16
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    Whn I was out in a club last week on Saturday, a young woman came over to sit next to me and talk to me. It was in the outside smoking area.
    First she asked for my name and then asked how I could walk in my heels and even dance with them.
    Normally I wear classic pumps with about 3" plus heels, about 9 cm. That night I wore my new black pumps with a very small stiletto heel, very thin.
    However we probably talked for about 20 min.
    I noticed that she had old scars on her right arm. I think she is a Borderline persona.
    I wrote about another BPD woman last year, BPD women seem to be attracted to me. But sorry, that's not the subject here.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    I was in my 50’s when I started cross dressing. I bought some 2” pumps and some stiletto heels at 3” and 4” height, and practiced by wearing them around the house - walking and doing dance moves on various surfaces - carpet, hardwood floors, the concrete back patio... I also looked up advice on-line, and found out about something called the “Alexander technique”, which has to do with improving posture and balance while in motion. There is a lady named Chyna Whyne who shows how to dance in super high stilettos using that method. Very much worth checking out! After a couple of weeks practice at home I was able to go to nightclubs in 4” heels, and dance for hours!

    I have taken dance classes in various styles, and have also taught dancing. Long before I ever thought of cross dressing, I volunteered to be one of the guys who would do part of the dance class on the ladies’ side, to even out the numbers. I will agree that leading and following are different skills. A good lead gives their partner subtle cues for what they want to do next - especially in the more free-form styles where twirls or even supported lifts might occur. A good follower has to sense these cues from their partner, making it look effortless.

    After I started going out dancing a lot as a woman, I attended several classes on “queer tango”, where same-sex couples, mostly pairs of women, would learn both to lead and to follow. They appreciated my prior experience in both roles.

    Most of my social circle these days are lesbians. Observing older and well-established couples dancing together, I saw that for some, one always leads, where for others, they take turns, sometimes even passing the lead role back and forth several times in one dance! There are no hard and fast rules, but often the person who invites someone else to join them on the dance floor will assume the lead role, or will clearly ask the other if they want to lead. At dances, a lot of same-sex dancers observe other couples and try to determine who prefers which role.

    How to “dance like a woman”? Observe them! Learn by their examples. Watch videos of women dancing, or attend dance events and watch other people, and try to copy the kinds of moves you see them use.
    Last edited by Ceera; 11-18-2018 at 06:07 AM.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    Practice, practice, practice.

  19. #19
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I'm well into my 70's and dance for hours almost every time I go out!

    I prefer 4"+ spike heels. NEVER try dancing in platforms! Or, loose hi heels!

    Couples dancing is not common in clubs. And, whenever another trans or GG tries it with me I SUCK!

    But, otherwise? I suggest getting comfortable walking in heels then practicing at home in front of a mirror to get the basics. Then, add moves that u see GG's doing in clubs. That's what I do!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  20. #20
    Member CourtneyJamieson's Avatar
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    Hi Darci, I go out dancing in 4" heels all the time and I LUV it. It feels sooooo fem and sexy to dance in heels. I practice a little bit at home but you really just need to go out and do it. And I just go out dancing to clubs. Nothing formal so I don't need to worry about leading and following. And I can never understand how girls have trouble driving in heels. I have never had any issues when driving in 4" heels. Just seems natural.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Glenda58's Avatar
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    Dancing heels are about 2'' high. I did ballroom dancing my SO at the time taught ballroom and country line dancing I would help by dancing in reverse to show the ladies how to dress it wasn't that hard. Now I can go out dress and go dancing.
    GLENDA
    I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

  22. #22
    Silver Member Meghan4now's Avatar
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    Great question Darci!

    In addition to what has already been said (Ceera's was particularly good), I have observed that the quality of the shoe, and especially heel attachment and size is pretty important. I would never dance in my 5" sandles. First, the stiletto is too narrow. They feel like they could buckle at any time, and frankly feel like they aren't centered quite right. The narrower the heel, the more difficult. Also the higher the heel, the more challenging the stability can be. It's basic math, and too long to go into here. Then top it all off with ankle stability. My knee high slouch boots with a 4 inch heal are so comfortable and solid, I could do that basketball commercial. Even better than my pumps.

    Plus practice, and while liquid courage may help, just being dressed gives me so much more confidence.
    Put on a Happy Face.

  23. #23
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    Ginger Rogers was once asked if she liked dancing with Fred Astaire , and she replied, " Yes, but remember, I have to do it backwards and in heels!"

  24. #24
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    I found that dancing in heels and a skirt/dress is actually a lot easier than dancing in male pants and shoes. I think maybe its a combination of less restriction with the dress and a balance thing with heels.. with flat mens shoes I feel like I am clumping around and therefore feel restricted. In heels (I am not talking 6" stilettos) being more on my toes makes me feel more fluid. As others have said for both walking and dancing its vital that the shoes fit you properly and that your foot is very snug in the shoe.

    Of course you might want to master walking first before dancing
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  25. #25
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    Perhaps as an advise, try to wear lower heels first and go slightly higher when you feel comfortable in them. I would start with a 2" heel and go up to 3". A three inch heel looks beautiful already. my highest heel is about 4" which feels different over a 3" heel, especially walking in them. Most of my pumps are about 8 cm - 9 cm.

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