I echo others that have said you first need to be able to walk in heels properly before dancing well in them. I have seen plenty of GGs who clomp around in their heels like a horse and wonder why they have trouble dancing in them. It's true that dancing in heels for some dances are actually easier than flats once you have your balance mastered. The reason is that for a lot of dances you are almost constantly on the balls of your feet. When you wear heels they automatically put you in that position and the shank running through the sole supports you. Plus you can kind of "rest" in that position. With flats you are relying purely on the strength of your feet and ankles. That is why I often practice in jazz or ballet shoes because my feet will get lazy. But first things first...balance.
Being balanced is almost all about alignment and less to do with the strength of your supporting muscles. A strong core helps when you are off balance to stabilize you but it's not what actually making you stay balanced. The balance point in your feet starts approximately between the web of your big toe and second toe and then runs down the center of your foot. You do not want to favor the outside edge of your foot near the pinky toe(sickling) but instead concentrate your weight more towards the inner 3 toes. From there you want to stack all of your bones straight vertically. When you are wearing heels you might think that standing completely straight up and down at a 90 degree angle is ideal but it's not. You will actually have trouble balancing like that. Again the balance point starts between the big toe and second toe and it will feel like you are almost leaning forward and will do a face plant. But, that's actually being in alignment. If you can't get your balance there's no way your are going to be dancing in heels.
Another thing is that you need to learn how to walk from toe to heel in many dances, especially faster paced ones. A stiletto or thin heel is not designed for you to be constantly putting weight on it. In dances like West Coast Swing where you are shifting weight back onto your heels several times I wear shoes with a small block heel (not stilettos). Which brings me to my next point. If you really are serious about learning the follower's role in partner dancing you need decide which dance you want to do the most. This is because certain shoes are better for certain dances. Tango heels look the most sexy and can top out at 105mm or more. They will usually have a leather bottom just like street shoes. When I dance Latin dances like Salsa or Bachata or another spin heavy dance like Zouk I wear Latin ballroom dance shoes. These usually go up to around 3" high and have different heel widths and have a suede bottom. These are probably what people think of when dance heels are mentioned. The reason you would want to buy specific dance shoes are fit and support. Unlike a lot of fashion brands, dance brands will usually have multiple widths. If the shoe doesn't fit well forget about really dancing in them. I wear my Louboutins, Choos, and Manolos for walking in the door and then sitting down at a table. I can barely dance in most of them because they are so, so narrow.
Anyway, if you aren't really that serious about learning to properly follow and dance in heels than what does it matter. Just go out there and try not to fall. Learning how to partner dance online is already bad enough. You really cannot become a good or even mediocre dancer that way. Someone describing how to dance through text in an online forum probably has about a zero chance of succeeding. I recommend you go take dance classes if you are really willing to learn. Alexander Technique was mentioned which I can recommend but to get any actual benefit you will need private lessons. This can get expensive fast. I took several lessons in Alexander Technique not to learn how to walk in heels but because I have scoliosis (of course I did have her spend some time on that as well!) The reason why Alexander Technique needs to be taught individually and in person is because there are many tiny adjustments in how you stand, sit, lie down, walk, etc. that you cannot feel or see without someone else's trained eye and experience.
I can give some general guidelines on basic follower's technique in another post but I'm wondering if people have even read down this far. This forum seems to want quick, superficial advice instead.
I totally agree with her.