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Thread: Need to meet other Girls

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Need to meet other Girls

    Do you find that you want to meet other CDs in real life?
    And if so how do you do it?

    I go back and forth. Sometimes it is nice to be in my own world only but sometimes I feel like it would be good to meet another girl like I. The problem is that it is so darn difficult to do it.
    Plus if I find someone, I want to ensure that I can be friends with that person and that CD is not the only thing we may have in common.

    Just to clarify - I am married and my wife is supper supportive. However we also have kids and that limits our ability to go out. Basically what I am saying is that I am looking for a CD friend. Nothing sexual.

    So here is my question to all of you fantastic ladies. Do you have news to find a “CD friend”. If so, how are you doing it? And any progress (good bad or between?)

  2. #2
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    Join a local support group go out and have coffee or a meal after the regular group meeting.
    I met a few really great CD friends and we are still friends after 8 years.

  3. #3
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I agree with Tracii. Support groups, which most of the time are more like organized social gatherings to help people improve their skills and to meet others, are a great start. Also, look for members here local to you and just start up informal conversations with them, read some of their posts and do not hesitate to meet up in male mode to see if there is any type of click. My first time out was with two people from this site, one of whom remains my friend since 2007. Several of my newer friends are also from this site too. Just keep networking and talking to those you meet at support groups or here on this site. Good luck.

  4. #4
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    Support groups are just people like you trying to find themselves too.
    Check with the LGBT office in your area and ask them if they know of any groups close to you.
    The groups aren't kinky sex/porn groups like you may be thinking they are more a social group that discuss CD and trans issues.
    Gaining a local group was one of the best things I have done because it help me discover more about myself.

  5. #5
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
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    I went to Trans March and to Trans Day of Remembrance- which is coming right up- check on google! you'll find lots of crossdressers in the trans community and a safe and accepting environment!
    We are all beautiful...!

  6. #6
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    There r large T gatherings all over the country. I was curious like u, about many of the dressers I chatted with here. So, 10 years ago I jumped on a plane to Atlanta for my first ever outing at my first SCC. I attended 4 and met maybe 100 CD.comers?

    I've attended events all over since then and found a local group of T's I see often. I believe T's r remarkable and interesting company! And, I'm straight.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Member Anne E's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Check with the LGBT office in your area and ask them ...
    There are offices?

  8. #8
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    Hi Amanda!
    I feel the same way and have wondered the exact same thing. For some reason, I don’t want to go to a group where there is a mix of guys as guys, MIADs, and full cross. I’m closeted (other than wife) and kinda introverted so that’s probably why not.

    Seems easier just to meet as guy friends knowing you have CD in common. And MAYBE at some point you have a friend to go out dressed together with.

  9. #9
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    Michelle you don't have to be in girl mode to go to a group meeting.
    Its all about meeting people like you.
    Anne google LGBT in your city and yes they have offices and what they call pride centers for group meetings.
    All this is not going to drop in your lap Michelle you have to make the first move and put some effort into meeting like minded people.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Let's see, how did I do it?

    I found someone on this forum who lived nearby, and we arranged to meet in neutral territory in a trans-friendly bar (in girl mode). It was my first time out meeting another girl. She introduced me to 2 friends, and they introduced me to two friends, and soon we were a group. This group consisted of 90 girls at last year's Christmas gala ball. I

    I found someone on this forum who lived in a city where I was going on business. One time we met in boy made at a local restaurant. Another time we met in girl mode and went to a restaurant with her social group. We also went to Maurice's as a group for after closing shopping.

    I went to Keystone where I met hundreds of other girls, and kept in touch we several girls who lived near me. One of them I meet in girl mode once a month. Another girl and I have met in boy mode a couple of times.

    I've met several girls on the forum and invited them to meet me at one of my local girl's social group.

    I've met about 1/3 of my friends on this forum FtF.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 11-19-2018 at 10:54 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Michelle you don't have to be in girl mode to go to a group meeting.
    Its all about meeting people like you.
    Anne google LGBT in your city and yes they have offices and what they call pride centers for group meetings.
    All this is not going to drop in your lap Michelle you have to make the first move and put some effort into meeting like minded people.
    Thanks Traci! Yeah, I haven’t been expecting a “real life” CD friend to appear without putting myself out there first. Like Amanda said, I’ve lived my whole life without one. Curious from those who have met CD friends, was it worth the effort? What do you get that you don’t get here on this forum?

  12. #12
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    Yes it was very much worth it !!
    I have made a few trans friends to go out with and go to concerts or out to historical places or to just hang out as friends.
    You get true friends to talk to and not some random person on the internet that you really don't know.
    Its a no brainer IMO. Meet others in person is the way to go.

    The way I look at it its better to experience others as real friends rather than wishing you could find a friend but were too scared to try.
    You can't expect change if you keep doing the same thing and hiding in your closet.
    Its nerve wracking at first sure I totally understand but once out and having fun in public all the fears and doubts fade away quickly.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 11-18-2018 at 02:00 AM.

  13. #13
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    I am just starting to get active in crossdressing after years of hibernating and I used to think that way, but I have this overwhelming need to get out and socialize with other crossdressers at this time in my life. I am a very introverted person normally, but for some reason the thought of getting dressed up has me becoming more social and extroverted; however, each person is different and I have a long way to go before I get to that point.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    As everyone says join a local support group and maybe the meet ups section here will be of assistance for you.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  15. #15
    Member Happilymarriedguy's Avatar
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    I live in the middle of Nebraska and there isn't a support group near where I live. I would have to probably have to drive 2 1/2 to 3 hours just to attend one and I'm not even sure if Lincoln or Omaha has support groups. On top of all the traveling, I am not sure how comfortable I would be meeting others. I am glad that most of you live close enough to others. My only support is my wonderful wife and this site.

  16. #16
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    AmandaR.,
    I have to agree with others find a social group , most will offer some sort of dressing facilities , so you may be able to dress just for those few hours . Many also welcome wives / partners so they can dress up as well and possibly chat to other women to help them with accepting the situation.

    HappilyM...,
    If you have to travel why not do a weekend stopover , once you've joined you may find a local member prepared to offer changing facilities in their home or even a bed for the night , I don't have any problems with that , we share a cab to the event so we can enjoy a drink as well . We do get a mix of dressing styles but at least it is a safe situation to find your confidence .
    The real me ,no going back.

  17. #17
    Kali Sopwith Kalisopwith's Avatar
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    I just found a local group with monthly meetings and get togethers! I am so looking forward to it!

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Kali,
    Keep us posted , I hope it goes well for you .
    The real me ,no going back.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    I just meet people when I go for a night out for karaoke, I started at gay establishments to get my feet wet and become more comfortable. I have made many friends that way gay, straight, CD and trans. I don't go for the social gathering or support group, just not my thing, I went once and it felt like an AA/NA meeting. Like others have said there are groups out there if you need. Good luck.

  20. #20
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    Amanda, you've already done one thing right that will get attention .. you showed where you live... NYC. Watch for sisters' postings that include NYC or nearness and contact them by PM. Support groups are a start and will give you a reason for you and your WIFE to go together as many couples do. Does your wife approve of your looking for other CDers in your area? If yes, if they have supportive wives, always try to make your wife a part of your "off premises activity".

  21. #21
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    I was scared to get out and go to a support group meeting too and made up all kinds if excuses not to go for several months so I know the fears people have.
    I just wish people would be honest with themselves and the members here and just admit they are too scared to do it and stop making excuses of why they can't go and meet people.

  22. #22
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happilymarriedguy View Post
    I live in the middle of Nebraska and there isn't a support group near where I live. I would have to probably have to drive 2 1/2 to 3 hours just to attend one and I'm not even sure if Lincoln or Omaha has support groups. On top of all the traveling, I am not sure how comfortable I would be meeting others. I am glad that most of you live close enough to others. My only support is my wonderful wife and this site.
    How far are you from Denver. That's where I met the girl from this forum who hooked me up with her social group. That's where I went to dinner with a group of 15 girls, and then shopping at Maurice's.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Michelle Vinova View Post
    Curious from those who have met CD friends, was it worth the effort? What do you get that you don’t get here on this forum?
    It's so worth it. We can go to a restaurant/bar just like the normals. My BFF and her wife go to eat out together as 3 girls, go shopping in the mall as 3 girls, go into the ladies' dressing room to try on clothes as 3 girls.

    We hear a lot of growing up stories FtF, rather than in a forum. We get dressing tips, can see how others have applied makeup, can commiserate with others in DADT and be happy for and jealous of CDs with a participating wife.

    I guess the best thing is that we share the bar with the normals. We often have absolutely wonderful conversations with the GGs (and sometimes even the GMs) who share our space. Sometimes there a yound women who are staying at the hotel for a soccer or swim meet. The are much more appreciative of us and often comment about our glam look, how much fun we appear to be having, how brave we are, and sometimes even join in our karaoki or photographs.

    I think we all use the ladies' bathroom without fear.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  23. #23
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    So I originally went to a local trans friendly bar, though I live in the city. I also go to a local trans group where I met Steffi.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  24. #24
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Tracii,
    Social skills are a separate entity to CD issues , if you have problems with both it may never happen , not much anyone can do about that . I feel Majella's comments are a little biased as they only relate to one experience . I attend social groups and not help groups , saying that they do help people deal with their issues .
    The real me ,no going back.

  25. #25
    New Member lisa11422's Avatar
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    I'm with you Amanda, I like my own world but would be nice to meet as friends as well.

    I guess finding other common interests other than dressing could be a good way other than 'cd groups'

    If you like golf Im out in LI, maybe catch a round or hit a bucket sometime

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