Not sure if this has been posted before... But I was hoping I could get some advice here.
In the last week or so, I've noticed myself growing a massive urge to go with an admirer. But then 5 minutes later I don't, then I do, then I don't and so on... This is how I used to feel when I was dressing. I felt almost a guilt for it and now I feel no guilt for dressing, but I feel like I want to but guilty all at the same time.
Any advice would be great, thanks.
k x
You mean like a date? If you're unattached and you want to, why not? If you like the person, just do a nice safe public coffee shop type date. Be safe, and don't give too much personal info until you know where each other's head is at.
KatieEvans,
I assume you mean a male admirer ?
One question , do you go out or are you still in the closet ? The reason why I ask is going out to a social group might provide some answers to this dilemma , seeing and meeting other Cders does bring a balance to your thoughts . For me it just confimed I'm still attracted to women and would like to find one to share my dressing with . I'm not attracted to other men dressed or not , I also admit that these thoughts did occur to me some years ago , I'm sure many others have had similar thoughts at some time , dressing can be confusing at times .
I'm sort of in and out of the closet... Not fully out yet, but not all the way at the back of it either.I do want to go out as Katie and I hope so soon too... I find myself with a massive attraction to male admirers lately... I watched a guy on webcam and I found myself overwhelmingly turned on by it. I got a weird knot in my stomach. I've had the feeling come and go lately.
Katie,
Just checked your age , I just about remember having all that energy and thoughts going in all directions . I also remember young kids and a mortgage round my neck plus my new photography business ! I'm not sure if I envy you or not care to swap for a while ??
I agree with Macey. If unattached, then go for it in a safe environment. Most true admirers understand that and are willing to wait to see if it will lead to physical intimacy. Make it multiple dates over time with time in between to actually think with your head and not with your sexual desires or needs. Good luck.
Lots of us have the same feelings. It is up to YOU what you want to do! If you are single, why not go for a coffee or a drink? Public place and see how you feel! The other option is another girl like us. Either way, just remember, you are an original, there is no other person like you!
Back when I was young and single I would befriend an admirer, a coffee or a movie were the usual treats.
Nothing more as that was not my scene.
Just a friendly encounter usually in company with someone else.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
These back and forth feeling are telling you the answer you seek.
Katie, we know very little about you, such as how often you've been going out, where did you meet your admirer en femme, are you possibly Bi-curious, etc..The more you can share with us (not about you EX living with you) the better we will understand what makes you tick, as far as giving you requested help. Consider that, Katie.
The vast majority of "admirers" are actually "lusters" and their end goal is to be physical with you at some point, some also are looking for a steady relationship or marriage even. i have only met four, in a span of 7 yrs. Only one did i meet twice. But, i made it clear, that i don't do any penetration sex, and that was a turn off to them.
I suggest you don’t complicate your situation until you are comfortable with yourself. Love yourself first then the rest will come naturally.
You sound confused Katie. You're on the fence, which is an uncomfortable place to be whichever sex you are.
This is a really boring answer, but have you considered seeing a counsellor?
Going with your instinct, which may be purely lust-based, could have very serious consequences in terms of both health and self esteem, not to mention safety.
One test to learn more about your true feelings might be: when you look at a guy on a webcam and get turned on, do you orgasm, and if so, does the attraction vanish for a time? If that's the case, then I'd strongly advise you against casual sex. It could make you a whole lot more confused.
If on the other hand this attraction is increasingly steady and solid, then perhaps a little experimentation might clarify things.
Whatever you decide, for god's sake be very careful...and good luck!
I used to have a short attention spa
What to do?
It's desire! and I'm guilty of it also!
It's how we deal with it which is most important. I find some doting Girls to be quite attractive! even stunning! but hey.
What to do? Maybe some chill time when hot under the collar, just my call though!
Stacy!
STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
Stop breathing imagine none of this is real
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"
Oh my. I get those feelings as well. And I know they are much more than just physical. I often daydream about marriage, love (not passion, but Love!), and belonging. Lord, I am a Sweet mess! But I think, at times, of something different, or "Better"!
Roxanne Lanyon
As Sweet As I Can Ever Be
The Internet is not the same as real life. Being turned on by a guy on the Internet is not the same as dating a man. Be sure you can handle it before you try it in real life.
Krisi
The lust can be really strong at times. When looking at a guy on cam I am immediately turned on... I would love to try penetration at some point, that's one thing I definitely know. I do seem to attract a lot of admirers and t-girls too who tell me I'm extremely attractive... I don't see it haha.
Well I've been Katie inside for as long as I can possibly remember, but only taken the plunge to dress as far as I have for about 3 weeks, the photos you see are 100% early me. I'd love to improve with time.
Katie, I understand how powerful the pink fog is, and it overwhelms our thinking too often, and we cannot see the consequences of making fantasy a reality. I would abstain from any penetration sex or tongue kissing, for disease prevention, at least. An hour's fun, can cause a lifetime not fun Sexually transmitted pain in the ass disease.
Not even with protection?
Just speculating here but I’m guessing that the fantasy is playing tug-of-war in your head with reality. The only thing I can tell you is to figure out your sexuality WITHOUT the clothes first.
Katie, u r young and need to try things to find out who u r and what u like. I see no reason why u shouldn't experiment with your desires.
Except that you may want to do it with someone u know and who knows u. I have met and been hit on by a number of nice guys at Mary's on their monthly T girl nites.
I suggest u visit gay/trans clubs in your area as Katie. Get to know the guys that come on to u in a safe, public enviornment. Then, go where your heart or stomach butterflies leads u!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
If you haven't yet, you may want to do some personal experiments with a "toy". If you know what I mean (They are long and made of rubber).
It certainly gives you a great idea of what it would be like, and if you would like it or not
(Random side note; you live just a few towns away from me! It's a small world!)
Keep in mind that strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig doesn't make you a woman. You have no vagina.Originally Posted by KatieEvans1989
If you have sex with another man, that's gay sex. That's fine if you are gay or even bi-sexual. Just be sure you understand this ahead of time. I think the suggestion to get yourself a rubber penis is a good one just to see what you might be getting yourself into.
Krisi
I find it helpful to acknowledge my sex fantasies, approve of them, and indulge them as fantasies. It gives me the fun with a clearer head. I also talk out loud to myself or even better a self video, what I am trying to experience and why. It is very helpful in reducing the compulsive urges and letting me see the risks of rushed dating sex.
Using people or letting them use you as a sex toy doesn't really satisfy beyond a thin layer of sex fantasy fulfillment. That can seem like it is worth it, but the whole STD risk set is pretty staggering to day, and protection is not all that reliable. Much safer and therefore inescapably better to use inanimate things for the penetration fun and experience, and date non sexually first to build relationship with a person, after which you can enjoy all the sex you want without worry, in a fuller context of emotion and committment.
I also intensely wrote my fantasies out, writing in great detail like a bodice ripper novella,and then add in the cooking and cleaning. That helped drain away the urgency, so I could focus more on the facts of real life relationships.
We are all beautiful...!
Katie, I agree with that.
I've been in many situations when guys wanted to flirt, touch or kiss me.
I've never been turned on by men, I just don't feel anything, I love and adore women and my wife.
Figure out your sexuality....
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