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Thread: Moday's Adventure - It's all in the mind

  1. #1
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    Moday's Adventure - It's all in the mind

    It seems that the dam has burst and there's no putting the toothpaste back in the tube if I may just mix my metaphors.

    Today I went out again. This time I left home overtly dressed, nothing covered up and set off. I was wearing a knee length denim skirt, opaque tights, boots, and a waterproof jacket to keep out the weather. I drove for about 10 minutes or so and parked on a quiet suburban street just off from the town moor. The weather was cool, dull, grey and threatening to rain. I got out of the car, pulled my hood up and set off walking down the street.

    After 100 yards or so there was a male dog walker coming towards me on the same side of the road. We got nearer to each other and passed by. He was quickly followed by a female dog walker and we, passed. Again, nothing. A couple of cars passed by. I could see a couple of hundred yards ahead of me there were two fire engines attending an incident. Not an emergency, there were no flashing lights. They'd probably been there for days. They had that air about them. I had to cross the road to get past and as I walked past them, a fireman got our from the front fire engine, walked back along and then got into the second one. He didn't pay me any heed.

    I continued for another couple of hundred yards and approached a parked car, facing me. As I got nearer I could hear the engine running. It was probably somebody parked up having lunch or making a phone call. The person in the car would have been able to watch as I approached and as I passed and yet he didn't look up, or take any obvious regard. Next, a footpath joined from the left, I could see a couple, mid twenties, approaching and we passed as they reached the pavement. As we passed he leant to his girlfriend and probably said "That was a man" but they contined on their way, didn't say anything, didn't stop, didn't look around.

    And I contiued on to the end of the road, by now I was about half a mile away from the car. It had started raining.

    I walked along to where this road joined the main road and set off back down and parallel to the way I'd come. There were cars approaching me and passing. Nothing happened. I approached a set of traffic lights, and walked along the line of stationary traffic as I walked towards them. Nothing happened. There was a man waiting to cross from the other side. I walked across and behind him and he probably didn't even know that anyone was there. I continued down the road and passed a house where two workmen were on scaffolding. Nothing happened.

    I was walking along the pavement of the main road and traffic was constantly driving both ways. Nobody beeped their horn, nobody flashed their lights. I got the bottom and turned back. My adventure had to come to and end, but I had about half a mile to get back to where I had parked the car. On the way back I had to pass a larger building site where they are constructing several houses. The security guard was sat in his booth, probably bored. Most of the men were concerned about getting a large digger from a low loader.

    After about half an hour I was back at the car. I got back in and drove back home.

    The whole way round the loop I took, was, according to my Ornance Survey app 1.2 miles. I walked past probably about 30 - 40 people. There would have been well over 100 cars pass by in both directions, and nothing happened.

    Well, one thing happened. I had a grin on my face. I was loving every minute of it. For the first time in my life I was dressed, outside in daylight among real people. This is how I was meant to be.

    What I have come to realise over the past week, isn't that the hardest thing to do is to go outside the door, it's to make that chnage in your head, to develop a new mindset, that says, I want to wear a skirt, I want to wear a skirt outside, so I going to do just that.

    I know that there will always be risks with this. I'll have to face name calling and such like, I know that I will, but hey, it's their problem, because as today told me, for any one person who may have a problem with it, there are hundreds of others who just don't care. And you know what, I might be the first person like me that they've ever seen and I think that there are more positives in that than negatives. And, as I know that it will happen, I'm on the way to being prepared when it does.

    What I've also decided is that I need a knitted hat, a knitted scarf, some gloves, and a better bag. I'll also get myself a new coat when I find the right one. These are all things that I haven't needed until now, but now I do. And. I'm also going to get myself a really feminine umbrealla, probably one of those clear plastic ones. I've always liked them

  2. #2
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    Happy for you. It does get easier when you see that the worst demons are in your head.

  3. #3
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    You know you had a good outing when a lot of nothing happens. Except for the grin, of course. Leaving home dressed is pretty major. I've only done it once and I go out frequently.

    Congratulations.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  4. #4
    Member Anne E's Avatar
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    Hi Charlotte,

    A hat and scarf sound nice. Thank you for sharing.

    Keep walking.

    Anne

  5. #5
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Good for you, Charlotte! There can be problems out there but most of them are in our heads! Get the gloves, scarf and coat ASAP so you can get out again and enjoy it! I had to get a coat last week to be able to go to church as Lana Mae(dressed)! I bought a man's coat but it is very androgenous! Best wishes for being able to get out and about often! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  6. #6
    Banned Spammer
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    Why did you leave the hood up on your car and walk away?

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Why did you leave the hood up on your car and walk away?
    Ah, yes, I see the confusion here, hood of jacket not bonnet of car. As has been said, two people separated by a common language.

  8. #8
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charlotte7 View Post
    ................for any one person who may have a problem with it, there are hundreds of others who just don't care.
    And, for those hundreds of others who just don't care there will be some, maybe more than you think, who actually like the idea, who actually think 'cool, interesting, different, that is someone I may like to know better'.

    I'm so happy for you Charlotte I could burst.

  9. #9
    -1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    Awesome! Some sweet sentiments there:

    - Expecting to get laughed off the planet when you encounter your first passer-by, but...nothing .
    - The dissipation of worry after walking past a few more.
    - Getting past a line of stationary traffic .

    Any tears?.. Like after getting home and reflecting upon what you had just done, the wait you had just brought to an end, and the potential you had just unlocked?

    Congratulations! . Now you have an additional perspective on your current wardrobe and how you'll expand it. You're going to need to road test your entire repertoire now .

    - Lydianne.

  10. #10
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    The whole point is we as a group that do go out try to explain to those that don't that most people just don't care what clothes you wear.
    The only way for some to find out is actually getting out in public and experiencing it for themselves.
    Only then will the fear go away.

  11. #11
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    Charlotte,
    Nothing happened is the best part , you returned with a smile on your face , how good does that feel ?

    Thoughts on clothes , this has always been my point the more you do it the more you realise the holes in your wardrobe . If you choose to wear a skirt maybe do as I did and choose something like a cord one , I found a very fine brown cord from M&Co fitted the bill , I choose chocolate brown thights with my tan leather boots , nice beige lightweight raincoat from Matalan with a neat scarf to keep warm and tidy up the neckline . I've been to the cinema three times in that outfit and blended in very well . I also knew I would have to buy a more sensible waterproof jacket to walk the dog , Mountain Warehouse had one reduced from £80.00 to £25.00 and then found matching hat , scarf and gloves in the EWM shop in their bargain basket .

    It's an odd feeling , you want to be noticed but not read !

    Each time it does get easier until you don't give it a second thought , I agree, your own front door is the hardest part but I have great neighbours who are happy with the situation .

    Daisy ,
    Interesting point, I've convinced myself I don't pass 100% , I just feel it's not possible . Maybe I should try and see it the other way round and think people who do look might be thinking what a nice lady ! I do tend to brush off compliments like that , in our situation it's probably better to keep both feet firmly on the ground and not float off in a pink cloud .
    Last edited by Teresa; 11-19-2018 at 01:52 PM.

  12. #12
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    And another day walker is born. I knew you would go out soon just reading your posts leading up to this big leap of faith. Next is talking to strangers.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  13. #13
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    Warning! getting out can become addictive, no excuses now. So happy for you that your trip out went so well
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  14. #14
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    Allisa beat me to the punch. I've watched many Youtube videos of cross dresser walking on the street; in a park; and, so forth. I've also watched videos of interaction with the general public. I too have taken evening strolls. Yes, nothing happened. I've read the exploits of some visiting shops or makeup counters. What I have not read is interactions with neighbors inviting anyone to dinner attired as a woman. Halloween does not count.

  15. #15
    Gold Member Maria in heels's Avatar
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    Sounds like you had a wonderful, uneventful, day and its great that it was a good walk.

  16. #16
    carolyn todd carolyn todd's Avatar
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    Well done charlotte.
    Christmas is coming you need buy these lovely presents for charlotte and what better time to do it.

    Carolyn

  17. #17
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    See, that wasn't hard. Now for more adventures. Rock on!

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member GracieRose's Avatar
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    Welcome those of us walking around in public with smiles on our faces.
    No turning back now.
    Feels great, doesn't it?

  19. #19
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Charlotte, you are on your way, enjoy the journey and keep that feeling growing.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  20. #20
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Charlotte,

    I don't pass but today while enfemme boarding a train a 20 something allowed me to board ahead of him. He was showing good old fashioned politeness. Deference not prejudice. It's good out there.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  21. #21
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Charlotte, sounds like a great outing.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  22. #22
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Gosh. I thought that you were going to tell use that the Earth stopped spinning and you fell off because gravity stopped working. Now that would have been bad.

    I so remember my first few times out. I even got clocked several times, but still didn't see any pitchforks.

    Congratulations. Continue having fun.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  23. #23
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    Its that first step that's the hardest. Once you get past that hurdle, theres nothing stopping you except yourself. Don't go backwards. You already know what's there.

  24. #24
    Member Helena's Avatar
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    Well done Charlotte. Nothing happened is a great result. It is a big moment when you finally prove to yourself that the world doesn't stop.

  25. #25
    Septuagenerian member Carole's Avatar
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    Charlotte, welcome to the world of those of us who have taken that first step outside, dressed. A group of us regularly meet for coffee and a shopping spree in an outlet centre, in the last 18 months of this activity I have not experienced one adverse moment with joe public; most folk are too interested in their own world to bother about others. I have had female shoppers ask me for my opinion on a particular item they were looking at, a shop manageress hunting all over the shop for a specific dress I was looking for, so head up, chest out and get out there again soon, the more confidence you show the less likely you are to be 'called out'. Who knows we may even see you at the Lynx Ladies meeting one day.
    Carole

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