Ac-cen-tuate the positive

[Macey]

Okay, I’m very new to crossdressing. So here are some positive things I’ve noticed 😊

Some of these are probably common to most, a few are unique to me, I’d guess.

1) I have an interest in new skills, especially cooking and make up.
2) I’m taking an interest in my appearance and personal grooming.
3) I’m motivated to get in better shape.
4) I have way more wardrobe choices.
5) I strangely have more energy.
6) I’m more inclined to allow my feminine side to show.
7) I’ve stopped biting my nails.
8) I’ve discovered just how relaxing a pedicure is.
9) I feel more spiritually balanced.
10) It’s another thing in our lives that my wife and I can share.
11) I can’t wait for what life brings next.
12) I feel so darn pretty!

[Lisa516]

Hey wait up! that's me too nice to see it all written out like that. Except for the wife part I don't have one.... Oh! an the pedicure! have got to try that one yet. I'm brand new an loving it + I'm to old to care what anyone thinks

Sincerely
Lisa

[Macey]

Lisa, it was actually my wife who suggested a pedicure. What a great way to unwind! I am very overdue for one, but with my nails growing, herself and I will have to go for a full mani/pedi

[Lana Mae]

No to 3,5, and 10! I am plus size regardless! No more energy! No wife to share with!(She passed away 3 years ago and was not accepting!) Hugs Lana Mae (Mani-pedis are great!)

[Beverley Sims]

I am right for 1 to 7 but after that it can get blurred.

[Rayleen]

Macey, it resemble me too, except # 7, enjoy girl

[CallMeHeather]

I have definitely developed a new interest in makeup, fashion, and hair. There seem to be so many more options for making a bold statement that I could never get away with in man dress.

Oh and seeing myself in a cute dress that's too tight around the belly has made me want to get back on the fitness train again. (No more one-size-too-large untucked polo shirts, I'm afraid!) I am a runner but I had stopped for a couple months, first due to illness and then due to laziness. But the girlfriend and I both wish to lose a few pounds so we're gonna be diet buddies.

I LOVE my manicure, and was heartbroken when I finally had to break down and clip my nails last night. (SIDE NOTE: We need to find a better salon, though. When my girlfriend told the ladies she wanted me to get a mani/pedi (and she wanted my nails painted, too), they all laughed at me- and they placed me in the chair by the front window so all passersby would see my toes being painted. Truth be told humiliation is a big part of my relationship with my GF so it didn't bother me, particularly- but they didn't know that. It might have been devastating for someone who's not ready for that kind of reaction. They also totally screwed us on the bill. It was like $200 for both of us and they wouldn't itemize the cost.)

[Tracii G]

Pretty much doing what 75% of what most CDs do when they get over the shame and guilt.
They start to claim things change and they start doing what they think women do.
Pretty much projecting and it borders on sexist sometimes

PS I have seen this happen year after year on here so its kind of old hat.
Don't get mad and try to lynch me over what I said because its my opinion based on what I have seen over the years.

[Crissy 107]

Macey, Good for you, as for having more energy that comes with being happier. I stopped biting my nails after my nail tech Traci rounded them off and she said that now there was nothing to bite.
It’s good to have you here! Crissy

[Tracii G]

Please understand I am happy for you Macey I really am.
Self discovery is a good thing and if CDing makes you a better person then that is a positive thing.
I went thru all those things too and it made me a much better person but I learned not to pigeon hole women in to just being home makers and clothes hounds and always going for pedicures. That is the sexist part. That is your man brain thinking what women do.
So you are you thinking I have to be that way to be a "real" CD?
Just keep things in perspective.

[Macey]

Tracii, I am not mad in the least and all of these thoughts cross my mind in ways that are far too complex to express in the simple form of a forum post. My wife and I discuss these things in depth as well and of course there are many sides, many ways, many expressions of 'femininity', and for that matter 'masculinity', and while I may be expressing myself in these ways, they are not indicative about how I feel 'women' should act, or how 'femininity' should be defined, but rather an expression of myself and areas of life left undiscovered by myself.

And, of course, even this statement is a gross oversimplification

[Sometimes Steffi]

Similar for me, except number 10. My wife does not want to share ... ever.

[Allisa]

Wasn't sure how to respond without harshing your buzz. I remember someone(sorry can not remember who) once said that since we did not get to do the girly stuff growing up we now have to practice and catch up in a hurry and it can be overwhelming and we become almost euphoric.We all have our own learning curve and the time will come when depending on what side of the gender spectrum(we lean towards) we are meant to be we settle in to a groove and all seems so natural that we don't even notice anymore and things just fall into place. Just my slant on things from my own personal point of view and life. Like it has been said this is a journey of many steps, enjoy.

[Macey]

Allisa, you're not harsh in the least, and honestly, it's the groove I'm looking forward to as this all shakes out

[Tracii G]

Its a lot to take in and its different for everybody.
I see guys pushing so hard and ruining their marriages It makes me worry that might happen to you.
I'm sure you will finally find your groove and all these "new" feelings will settle into a comfy thing for you and your wife.

[Leslie Mary S]

snip - -

1) I have an interest in new skills, especially cooking and make up.
2) I’m taking an interest in my appearance and personal grooming.
3) I’m motivated to get in better shape.
4) I have way more wardrobe choices.
5) I strangely have more energy.
6) I’m more inclined to allow my feminine side to show.
7) I’ve stopped biting my nails.
8) I’ve discovered just how relaxing a pedicure is.
9) I feel more spiritually balanced.
10) It’s another thing in our lives that my wife and I can share.
11) I can’t wait for what life brings next.
12) I feel so darn pretty!

1, 5, 7, 9, and 10 are not me.

[Macey]

Its a lot to take in and its different for everybody.
I see guys pushing so hard and ruining their marriages It makes me worry that might happen to you.
I'm sure you will finally find your groove and all these "new" feelings will settle into a comfy thing for you and your wife.

Tracii, I know everything you say is out of love and concern. I wouldn't worry too much about my marriage, we have a long history of love and support for one another through good tines and bad, and all of the unusual changes that life throws our way. We love each other, not each other's hair styles, or interests, etc. And yet, we support the things that make the other happy. Rather than tolerant, my wife has been downright encouraging, guiding, and helpful.

[docrobbysherry]

I got exhausted reading your list, Macey. I noticed u stopped at 12? Superstitious?

I wondered because your list looks like a combo of things my young grand daughter mite feel and New Years resolutions! And, if u listed a 13th it mite jinx them all!

However, I hope it all works out as u planned!

[Macey]

Meh, ran out of items from the top of my head

[DaisyLawrence]

Well I see no negatives there. You see, I've been banging on recently about how we may all be a little bit less binary than we think and, if we just learnt to throw off the shackles of the pressure to conform, we could be happier people and happier usually means better and nicer people to boot. It seems you are tying to prove my point for me. I thank you

[Macey]

Thank you Daisy! Naturally, there are some negatives, but for me thus far, the positives far outweigh them. One of the reasons I wanted to join this group after lurking for a bit was that I figured a few more positive experiences would be a good thing to share.

[DaisyLawrence]

Indeed Macey. The proof of the pudding is probably in what your wife thinks about all this. I mean, does she see more positives than negatives? I guess what I'm saying is, are you a better husband now due to being a happier husband, can she relate to that concept? If so then we can eat the pudding and enjoy it. Maybe ask her the question and pass her the keyboard?

[Macey]

She's not much for web forums, though she's flirted with the idea of joining. Naturally, especially in the first weeks, we've discussed these things at length, and she sees how much happier I am and spoils me as a result. For our marriage, I've seldom, if ever, bought anything for myself, and once this crossdressing odyssey came up she jumped at indulging me with clothes, make-up, etc. and is actually a little surprised that I know how to coordinate an outfit. She tells me that she's thrilled to see me happy, but also I notice the change in her, how happy she looks as well. Mind you, we still reaffirm to each other how happy I am with my maleness as well, it's just that I've done 'male' for all of my adult life, so this is a bit of a reaffirmation of my feminine side which was never hidden, just woefully under-expressed. No doubt as the pendulum settles, we'll settle into an even more comfortable place. She's commented more than once, when we're both sitting about and relaxed, and I'm in my more casual girl clothes with minimal or no make-up, just how 'natural' it all seems for us.

[DaisyLawrence]

So you do, indeed, prove my point for me. I thank you once again. Enjoy your even happier married life together, I'm doing the same with my lovely wife.

[Maid_Marion]

Hi Macey,

It is great to hear about your relationship! I think it helps that you are talking about it, so there are no secrets or misunderstandings between the two of you!