Hi Ilene, Sorry about the late reply to your thread. It must be really difficult for you both.
Reading about what happened, it seems to me that you have really upped the amount of 'Ilene time' recently. Your wife obviously dislikes it but puts up with it up to a point because she loves you and values your marriage. However, I suspect that for most wives in her situation there's only so much they can take before it all comes to a head. Certainly with my wife, while supportive, this only goes so far and I'm well aware that if I dress very frequently and don't spend enough time with her as the man in her life then this will come to a head too. As such, I manage the amount of girl time to avoid this.
Could you accept that you need to reduce the amount of 'Ilene time'? Maybe discuss this with your wife and acknowledge it's difficult for her and agree that while you need an outlet for your other side, you won't do it more than an amount of time that you agree? I would suggest that 2 or 3 times a week is too much for a wife that struggles with having a cross-dresser as a husband.
Now it may be that you take the view that it's your life and you should live it as per whatever makes your happy. But you're up against years of society's expectations of what is acceptable. It will be hard for her to change her views. A happy marriage is about give and take and you may need to decide how much you are prepared to risk it.
Good luck whatever you do. I'll be routing for you.
Sarah x