An interesting end to a good day

[Helen_Highwater]

Wednesday I showed, shaved, dressed and set off for Manchester inthe car about midday arriving at my destination, a wig salon, about 2'ish.

The guy in the shop started by asking if I wanted a private booth or was I happy in the main part of the salon which I was. Asking what I was looking for I replied I was considering a shorter look. A bit like Ollivander choosing wands a small selection appeared. On with the first one and I must say iwas surprised by just how much I liked the look. Two more were tried on, one discounted so now a choice between 2. I chose the first one, the good news bekng there was 20% off so with 2 new wig caps the bill came to £80.

Having left to buy a sandwich froma convenience store I was waylaid buy a GG doing a shopping survey. We chatted as we progressed through the usual rate out of 10 type questions. That done back to the car to eat said sandwich.

Having a bit of time to kill I went over to the John Lewis store at Trafford Park and browsed for 30 minutes before heading off to meet Eemz in the Gay Village.

Well we met in OnBar, found they didn't do food so switch to another pub, ate and chatted before switching back to OnBar to meet other CD'ers.

As that group began to disburse Eemz and I switch to another pub called Mollys. Quieter it gave us the opportunity to talk some more.

We werejoined at the other end of the bench table we were sat at by a guy who initially just sat nursing glass of wine. After a while he asked if he could ask us some questions.

It turnec out he was a HR manager for a large clothing retail chain tasked with writing a policy document onhow staffshould deal withTrans/CD customers. It seems a rival had failed a customer, been sued and paid out big money compensation.

We must have talked for an hour, him complementing us both on being so brave in getting out. His one big question was, what's the one thing of greatest importance to us when we look to try things on, apart from not being directed to the mens changing rooms.

Well both Eemz and I were flagging a bit, it was now 1 o'clock, I faced a 90 minute drive home so we made our excuses and left.

Eemz and I vowed to stay in touch, hugged and went our separate ways. Another good day.

[Macey]

I do hope Eemz pops on with her details as well! Sounds like a blast

[Beverley Sims]

Helen,
I love trying on wigs at a salon, they nearly always make you feel so at home in the environment and other women doing the same thing offer good advice on the look and appearance of the hairpiece you are trying on.

[Teresa]

Helen,
For a moment I thought it was a new chat up line but ended in a useful conversation . The rival must have really put their foot in it to be sued , did he give you any more details ? What would have been your answer to him ? As I haven't encountered any problems I'm not sure what my answer would have been , so far I've not been directed to the male side .

I had some fun today shopping , we are going to raise some money for charity but we need to wear a Xmas jumper , I found a nice one in Peacocks along with a selection of Xmas dresses , being Black Friday everything was discounted . I tried the dress on , the SA asked me to pop out and show her so I did , it fitted fine for a size 12 but she said, " I bet it fits even better when it's not back to front ! " She was right it did ! I may even wear it on Xmas day when I cook the Xmas meal for my daughter and her family .

It's good to meet other forum members in reality , so now you are back to drab land I assume , that week has gone far too quickly .

[docrobbysherry]

Helen, I think wig caps r the things I get for 50 cents from China and at the 99 Cents store. Did u mean caps or actual wigs for 80 quid?

[Helen_Highwater]

Sherry,

1 wig, 2 caps.

Teresa,

Apparently the company shelled out £80k for badically directing an trans woman to the male changing rooms. They fell foul of the discrimination laws.

I did say to him that in the previous 4 days, going into many shops, trying on in 3, I was always treated just like any other customer. Perhaps it was because it was different branches of M&S, they having sorted their staff out I don't know.

There are still a few "cold shoulders" about. Last night on my way to the cinema, so smartly dressed, I called in the 5 star country house hotel just down the road from where I'm staying with a view to eating there tonight if it wasn't too pricey. As I approached the front door a middle aged man dressed like he'd been playing golf appeared and opened the door for me.

Thinking he was a polite guest I asked for reception. He replied he was the owner and could he help me. When I asked to see the menu and would I need to book for a Friday night I got the distinct impression he'd rather not have me in his dining room. Nothing obvious but we can all read body language.

I was so tempted to say sod any expense just to make him serve me but why antagonise the daft old git, he wouldn't change his mind about me no matter how polite I was.

This lunch time I ate in a decent 4 star hotel, single course £8 plus a drink. Busy with tourists out for the weekend I was treated perfectly such that I may just put on a dress and heels and go back for an evening meal there. They can have my cash not that miserable old sod!

[Eemz]

Hey sorry for the delay it's been a long day. Yes I met Helen yesterday in Manchester - first thing, she needs to post a new avatar, she's much better looking in person.

I flew in from Ireland and stayed in an AirBNB in walking distance of Canal Street, having been completely upfront with the host in advance: I'm TG, I plan to arrive looking like my passport, change at your place and go out for the night, if you're not OK with that let me know. No problem, sounds like fun. (I might start a thread on that)

So back to the story. I met Helen at OnBar which was fairly typical gay bar where a local CD group meet on Wednesdays. It was dead when we arrived so we went for food up the street and came back later. It was still a bit slow at first, but a bunch of CDs of all shapes and sizes arrived later and hit the dance floor. It was a bit loud now and we wanted to talk so we moved to Molly's pub, which was the exact opposite - quiet and zero CDs (or women of any kind I think?) except us.

We had a good chat about life and yes just when we were about to go we ended up in a big discussion about trans rights with this HR guy. You never know where these nights will lead.

He was interesting, though he'd clearly had a few. Short version, he says in the UK you simply can not say to a customer "your changing room is over there MATE" regardless of how the person looks or sounds. The law is actually on the customer's side and a rival had recently been sued and lost such a case so all the other UK chains are scrambling to update their policies (caveat - acting on legal advice from a drunk guy down the pub is typically not a good idea, but fwiw that's what he said). I decided to test his chain out the next day. More on that later.

We wrapped up and went our separate ways (and have already talked several times since). I went back to the AirBNB and proceeded to destroy the nice man's white towel with foundation and waterproof eye makeup, having brought the wrong cleanser bottle. I showed it to him the next day and offered to replace it but he thought it'll be ok... alright I won't argue...

I had a few hours before my flight the next day so I went shopping and accidentally found one of his chain with some really nice stuff. Bear in mind I was going to the airport so was "looking like my passport" again. Screw it. I'm trying stuff on. And I'm using the women's changing rooms, drab or no drab. Complete anti-climax the SA was as nice as could be and even went and got me different sizes as I stood there in a dress and my man socks. Fortunately, I don't really do embarrassment.

Back on the plane and home. Oh and I bought the dress.

[Macey]

Eemz, welcome back! Sounds like Helen and yourself had a grand time of it, can't wait to see more details in your other thread

[Helen_Highwater]

Eemz,

Yes our HR guy had been at the red a bit I must admit. Interesting all the same. I plan to reseach the who's who of the Next management team and see if I can find a pic of our guy.

Thanks btw for the complement. I'll see want I can do pic wise.

Trying on in drab is something I've yet to attempt. So for all you hesitant to go out Eemz is showing you what's possible, certainly in the UK today.

[DaisyLawrence]

Come on ladies, what was going to be the answer to the guys final question? It's like one of those films where they leave you to decide the final outcome yourself, most unsatisfactory.

Eemz, don't forget that thread you mentioned.

Helen, yes I think all avatars need refreshing now and then, something more up to date would be good. Until recently I thought Eemz was a 2 dimensional cartoon like Jessica Rabbit (although, sadly, probably not quite as alluring as the real life Jessica Rabbit of course, no offense).

I try on in drab, nearest changing room is the one for me, if you're in the women's section that is rarely the men's changing room. But then my drab is not exactly what most genetic males would call men's clothes, on account of all my clothes being women's, but you know what I mean.

Eemz, as a former holiday cottage owner, I feel sure that the Air BnB guy will soon learn that you don't supply white towels if you have any sense

[Eemz]

What? I *don't* look like Jessica Rabbit? It's the ears isn't it? I knew it!!! LOL

I do try things at home as well now, but I use the men's changing room and am usually at least wearing enough that it's pretty obvious the stuff is for me (though why would I try on clothes for someone else?). I'm not sure why, but that makes things easier all round. I think the key is that yes these are for me and yes I'm OK with that, and people tend to go with the flow. If you project the message that you're doing something "wrong" then they'll go with that flow instead.

[DaisyLawrence]

Yep definately the ears Eemz. It's not Jessicas' fault she was so beautiful, as she said afterall, she was just drawn that way. If only I hadn't been such a close friend of Roger.

[maya1]

Thanks for sharing these stories. As. A newbie I dream about having other cool CD friends one day and sharing experiences like shopping or dining together.

[Helen_Highwater]

Maya,

One day you're prince will come. We all travel a journey to get to where we're out and about. Those journeys start with small steps.

Overcoming the little demons in your head saying if you go out the world will come crashing down is the hardest thing to do. I can tell you however that once overcome a whole new world opens up.

I and many others here write about our little adventures in the hope ours inspires others as others have previously inspired us.

Good fortune favours the brave.

[Charlotte7]

...I and many others here write about our little adventures in the hope ours inspires others as others have previously inspired us.

Yes Helen, I was so inspired and hopefully others will be too