Cross dressing and weight

[OCCarly]

If you think losing weight as a biological male is tough guess what? It’s a lot harder for women. After a year or two of transgender hormone replacement therapy I found that when my estrogen was up, I was hungry all the time. My wife laughed at me and said, “Now you know how to be a woman.”

I’ve found that I have to work a lot harder to lose weight or maintain it. The solution? Ballet workout DVD’s (plus my Tai Chi DVD’s and my stationary bike).

The fun part of working out now is wearing all the cute clothes, especially a leotard and tights for ballet.

So get some women’s exercise DVD’s, get some cute workout clothes, and get to it!

Hugs, Carly

[kayegirl]

Carry, I am with you on the ballet exercise, except that rather than use dvds or whatever, I actually attend an over 55's ballet classes. I'm the only male in a class of 14, but it is very enjoyable, and as a bonus, not only does it keep the weight under control, but it tightens up the tummy muscles, and has improved my general posture no end.

[faltenrock]

I'm about 5'10 and my weight is between 160 and 170 pounds. I try to keep my weight in thatregion which is not very dirfficult for me to do.
Whenever I'll go out for a weekend I'll go down to about 160 and I keeo my eye on staying around 165 .

[Stacy Darling]

I know this chic!

She has the face, and I have the body!

Therefore neither of us could be content right !!! ???

YET when together it matters how?
More thoughts,
Stacy!

[MiniRock]

Wow, thanks for all the great replies ladies; it's been a delight reading them all. So here are my further thoughts based on what you've all said.

1) Dieting/healthy eating/exercise advice welcome and taken on board. I think in a sense, I was admitting to my own failure, i.e. the need to gradually eat less and less the older one gets. It certainly does take a bit of will power, and I'm encouraged now to try even harder.
2) I wasn't really implying that fat women are not attractive. Some larger women certainly are very sexy. And they have a right to look just how they want. Incidentally, @Roberta, you don't look overweight to me, at least not in your avatar. People come in all shapes and sizes and some people are naturally a bit cuddlier than others I think. But myself personally, I know when I'm overweight and I honestly don't like how it looks (irrespective of dress). I'm naturally athletically built and a sagging belly looks to me awful. Hitherto, when I've gained weight, as I have several times in my life, I've dealt with it by eating less (no rocket science involved, but sometimes easier said than done). I need to make the same effort again but, somehow, I feel the change of shape that I'm beginning to see around my middle, the loss of waist for example, is not just weight, it's somehow age related. And not in a way that makes a dress look better. Although I'm encouraged by the photos of those of you who are considerably older than me and still look great.
3) It does seem that there are quite a few of you out there who, like me, indeed feel the need to be of the correct weight to get the most from dressing up. I take this as a net positive for such men and I find it sad that some wives and partners do not therefore value their men's cross dressing proclivities as something to be valued for its positive health benefit on the men they purport to love. In a similar vein, my children's mother would have far rather I relaxed by drinking alcohol than by putting on a frock. Of course, she had no worries that the neighbours would frown upon the alcohol. I don't suppose they'd have cared much about cross dressing either but in her head it was a deal breaker.
4) One final observation which might resonate with other ladies: I once bought a dress with a belt and it was immediately apparent that it the belt couldn't be used because it sat around my chest, even though the length was about right. Skirts and blouse combinations don't suffer from the same problem although even then, the waist is not really where it is meant to be. And I suspect that is how the majority of us get away with wearing clothes designed for the opposite sex. Dresses, in particular the stretchy, form fitting types, don't really have much of a built in shape. Consequently, they adjust to the body of whoever puts them on. Disguise the fact that our shoulders are a bit too big and our hips a bit too small with a jacket and, hey presto, you look great (especially in a photo taken from a low angle). Agree?

Sorry for the long post, by the way. No need to read it all if you find it too boring

[Robertacd]

I am a size 16-18 and weigh about 220 pounds so thanks for the compliment.

Click on my avatar and it will take you to my profile where you can see more of the same picture.

[Tracii G]

Some dresses have belts just under the breasts thats just a style so why couldn't you wear it ?

Where the belt is located really doesn't matter.
Womens clothes aren't made for men so whats the problem? You have to work around small things like that to make the item of clothing work for you.

[docrobbysherry]

Minirock, altho I enjoy that Sherry has a sexy figure? That's not about hiding my hips. It's about wearing hip pads!

The MAIN reason I stay in shape is for my health.
Looking good is nice, but feeling good at 75 is EVERYTHING!
And, I do most of the time. Which explains my energy and productivity.

Also, fat held around your middle is supposed to be the most deadly place. Besides eating better I recommend crunches to maintain core strength. I do 120 every morning on the floor. Along with stretching excersizes, while my tea is cooking!

Remember, diets and excersize r NOT weight loss tools in the long run. Only diet change will work for a life time!

[MiniRock]

Glad to hear it Sherry. You certainly do still look good though, even if it's only a byproduct of wanting to stay healthy.

[Robertacd]

Some dresses have belts just under the breasts thats just a style so why couldn't you wear it ?

Tracii is correct an "Empire Waist" is supposed to be that high and they work quite well on larger women. In fact an Empire Waist is my favorite dress style.

[MiniRock]

Ok Roberta, thanks for the clarification, I stand corrected. The particular dress I am talking about though was simply a poor fit on me, leastwise with the belt. Without the belt it was half decent, notwithstanding the empty belt loops. I suspect that my waist in the other dresses that I have is also at a different height than would be the case, were a woman to wear them. It´s just that the bodycon/shift style is very flexible in that regard and still looks OK. Perhaps the Empire Waist is also somewhat universal.

[Nancie64]

Just busted the 73 mark last week and over the last year it has been harder to get in the mood to dress. Of course I have put on a few pounds and have tried different things to take the weight off but nothing seems to work. Even a part time job that requires some harder work but no help. Maybe a little has to do with the feel that my SO and Nancie have drifted apart over the same period of time. Maybe it's just the age thing?

[TheHiddenMe]

Weight loss (or gain) is a math game.

Each pound is 3,500 calories. Burn 3,500 calories more than you eat, you lose a pound--and vice versa.

The main way to lose weight is by controlling your calorie intake. When I really want to lose weight, I count calories using the MyFitnessPal app.

Research shows there is no diet that does better than others. The best diet is one you will stick to.

Exercise will make you healthier but it is very hard to Exercise enough on a daily basis to lose weight. I exercise regularly--I do shorter triathlons and running races up to half-marathons--but you can still gain weight if you overeat.

I like to weigh less because my race times are better and If it into slimmer girls clothes. But it's a constant battle, and the graph of my daily weigh-ins looks like a roller coaster ride.

[Tracii G]

Everybody is different and no two peoples metabolisms are the same so you can't say "math" is the absolute answer.
Some people can eat 1500 calories a day and do moderate working out or exercise and still gain weight.
Some people are predisposed to gaining weight.

[Teresa]

MiniRock,
I know this question isn't meant to be provocative so I'm not going to start hopping up and down .

In some repects we have to say beauty is in the eye of the beholder , what one person finds attractive another will find it unattractive . Is it fair to give statistics ? I can't say, it possibly rubs it in to someone who is having a problem controlling their weight . I assume you have ruled out any medical problems so is it more to do with a lack of control over your diet ? To some they must find me annoying , I could eat a horse and not put on an ounce , some people only have to look at food and put weight on .

From your question you appear to have reached a crossroad , do you truly wish to present yourself fully dressed ? Also do you wish to go out more in the public gaze in daylight and not always in clubs and bars as you do at the moment . I ask that because of your comment about sexual appeal . I know it's a fine balancing act between looking good or not so good and looking attractive / sexy . This year I am seeing far more ads on TV for larger clothes to make more ample women look sexy for the the party season . Obviously there is a growing market , some women just have to tell themselves this is as good as it gets , I've done my best just go and enjoy yourself , good for them !

Sorry I've gone round the houses before I reply , I don't have the problem at the age of 67 , being 140 lbs at 5' 7" , I admit I love it . If I gained weight would it stop me , I guess if I drank and ate too much I would blame myself and possibly hate myself for it . If I had problems controlling it for medical reasons I would possibly say to hell with it this is me , I can still dress and enjoy life , it doesn't stop me having fun . As for the passing question , we all come in various shapes and sizes , it stil poses the same question passing as what ??

I apologise , perhaps I should have read all your replies before replying .

[MiniRock]

Hi Teresa,

No, I'm not trying to rile people. I'll happily defend anybody's right to be any weight they wish. I'm just interested in whether there are other ladies out there who keep their weight under control as a byproduct of their desire to look a certain way in a dress. Tracii is right though, everybody is different. If you eat more than your body needs you will gain weight. If you eat less, you will lose it. The difficulty is that, in many cases, our enjoyment of food exceeds our need of it. That is certainly the case for me. Irrespective of what other people think, I regard myself currently as too fat. And I have only myself to blame. And it does spoil how I want dresses look on me. Which, in a sense, is a motivation to me, over and above the health benefits, to lose the weight again. And reading the replies here, it does seem that there is a significant number of ladies who are of the same mind.

Mini

[Teresa]

Mini,
At least you know you can control it if and when you wish to , my weight control is basiaclly now because I live alone , I cook basic meals, one day I 'll make sure I eat vegetables another I will have a meal with salads maybe a treat is something with chips ( French fries ) , last night I had with burgers and salad . I also walk the dog every morning , I admit she is a tie but it gets me out in all weathers to exercise her and I meet some lovely people on the walks .

I hope to return to your city , I had the briefest of trips on a river cruise along the Danube , it is a wonderful way to see part of your lovely country . Two things on my bucket list , retrace my steps and do the cruise again as Teresa and ski some of your lovely slopes in winter .

[Mickitv]

I do understand how you feel about how you look as you age. I have been trying to keep the philosophy of "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." However, there are many days that I struggle with it just like any woman.

[DanielleCD]

I struggled with my weight for years.. the larger I got, the less my feminine side could exist... feminine clothes when I was 270 lbs at 5'9" just don't look good or feel comfortable at all. A friend of my wife's gave her a book Wheat Belly that we read. The science behind it, actual science rather than ancedotal, supported it's process. It's very keto oriented. We went all in... I lost 1-2 lbs a week for a year.
Today I'm 170 lbs and comfortably wear a size 14, with Spanx a size 12. I look and feel good now. When I see myself in the mirror dressed, I look and feel feminine. One day I intend to write a long post of my weight loss and exercise regime.. don't want to hijack this thread. Goal, see where my body settles weight wise... and hopefully a size 10. Maybe?

[TheHiddenMe]

Everybody is different and no two peoples metabolisms are the same so you can't say "math" is the absolute answer.
Some people can eat 1500 calories a day and do moderate working out or exercise and still gain weight.
Some people are predisposed to gaining weight.

I agree that the largest calorie burn is your basal metabolism, and everyone's basal matabolism is different. So what I can consume on a daily basis is different than any one else on this board.

But the math is the same for everyone. One pound is 3,500 calories.

As to diets such as the Wheat Belly: Diet books are mostly marketing campaigns with little (or no) scientific proof. There are at least 100 (thousand) diet books and they all can't be right. The only part of the diet that works is consuming less calories than you burn. All of the rest of the claims are 99.9% bunk.

[Jane G]

I am 6ft 4. I have spent my entire life trying to stay in shape. There was a time, just a few years ago, I crept up to 17stone 8lbs. Best clevage I ever had. . Bit to heavy for comfort though. Hard work and a bit of discipline and I am back down to 15stone 9lbs these days and still trying to lose just a bit more. I feel far better for it. Though that wonderfull clevage has vanished.

[Tracii G]

I don't feel I have lost any femininity in my presentation due to my weight and in ways it has helped to round out my figure in certain places. I don't feel at all negative about it.
I actually physically feel much better now than I did at 155-160 lbs.
Its all been because of medication so its not a genetic thing and I really have no reason to complain.

[missynicole]

I agree 100% with Angela. I exercise about 8 times a week, cardio and weights, wear my fitbit and log most of my food...i am her height and am currently at 165# heading for 160#....i feel great and i think look good in shorter skirts and dresses....some days it is difficult but i keep motivational pics of women i want to look like on my phone...and i think of my man or rather my future man and I want to look good for him....xoxoxo MN

[LovingThePanties]

I've always been in very good shape...for a guy! Not that I'd necessarily want to do anything about it because I spend the overwhelming majority of my time as a guy, but I'm way too muscular to look sexy in most female clothing. It's kind of frustrating because if I didn't have such a muscular build, I wouldn't only pass, but I'd be legitimately attractive when dressed. The upside is that I fill out a pair of yoga pants very, very nicely and will never need shapewear to augment my backside.

[Eemz]

Larger men's sizes are usually taller as well which doesn't work for me. It's actually easier for me to find women's clothes that fit. But if I lost weight it would increase the range of clothes I could wear, so that is a motivation. But overall I'm just trying to look like me, which as someone mentioned earlier may be the difference.