I finally came clean and told one of my closest besties. The response was so all-in supportive that I was moved to tears of relief and joy. My world just got a whole lot less lonely.
Here's my letter with names omitted for privacy:
"... you're one of my most trusted and respected friends. I have always admired and appreciated your open-mindedness and your sense of humor. However, If I had to name the quality in you which I value most, it would have to be your honesty--It has always been "straight, no chaser."
It is in fact, honesty that brings me to the crux of this letter. For more than 40 years, I have wrestled with issues of gender (and to a lesser extent, sexuality) that have resulted in me living a life that has been less than fully authentic.
It was after many years of confusion, fear and shame that I had some sort of epiphany. That was circa 2006. Without much fanfare, I quietly came to the conclusion that the very strong feminine identity that I'd had for as long as I could recall was definitely not going away. Years of contact sports, military training, serial dating and eventually marrying had not "flipped the switch" and at a point 12 years ago I came to the conclusion that I was trans. Just so you know I'm not making this up, three therapists--two women and one guy--back me up on my deduction.
I can only imagine what you must be thinking as you read this, and I hope my imagination is dead wrong. You can rest assured that I am still the person who likes working on cars, getting their hands dirty, talking shit, etc. I just really like wearing makeup too, LoL. Okay, maybe this isn't the best juncture to inject humor, but of all my friends who I considered most capable of handling the truth, I kept coming back to you.
The last thing I wanted to do with this was to drag you into the closet with me, but I will ask that you not discuss what I've shared with anyone--especially our mutual acquaintances, as I am still working out how to fully live and walk in truth and freedom.
Based on rules I learned from you to apply to my communications, I think I am 4/4:
*Truth--Every word is the God's honest.
*Kind---Yes because I trust you with this.
*Necessary--Yes, because you should have the opportunity to know the real me.
*Timing--------I am definitely not getting any younger.
If you dare, I've included pix."
Jay
so how did your friend respond?
Originally Posted by Kandi Robbins
