Stacy,
I have been in an abusive relationship with my current wife, who is also physically handicapped. Counseling is not for just the wrong-doer. You need an objective perspective from someone who knows what is going on, and is not emotionally involved. If they counsel professionally, all the better. I understand why you would not want to get the police involved, so keep your cell phone handy, and download an app to record what's going on. No one ever earns a right to physically, nor emotionally abuse another person.
Also, think of it this way, if you really love your wife, getting out can help her too. She might come to her senses and begin acknowledging her need for counseling, so she does not loose her spouse. This is exactly what had happened with my wife. I sought help, we separated for two years, we sought marriage counseling while we were separated. We've been back together for four years now. No more abuse. She owned up to her part during the counseling. She could not have done it without the separation, nor without owning up to my part (even though I was the lesser offender). I don't know your logistical situation, but all the more reason to seek help. These things do not always have a happy ending. But it is far worse to remain than to get out.
~Eliana