Spousal abuse, release!

[ElianaFrozenflame]

Stacy,

I have been in an abusive relationship with my current wife, who is also physically handicapped. Counseling is not for just the wrong-doer. You need an objective perspective from someone who knows what is going on, and is not emotionally involved. If they counsel professionally, all the better. I understand why you would not want to get the police involved, so keep your cell phone handy, and download an app to record what's going on. No one ever earns a right to physically, nor emotionally abuse another person.

Also, think of it this way, if you really love your wife, getting out can help her too. She might come to her senses and begin acknowledging her need for counseling, so she does not loose her spouse. This is exactly what had happened with my wife. I sought help, we separated for two years, we sought marriage counseling while we were separated. We've been back together for four years now. No more abuse. She owned up to her part during the counseling. She could not have done it without the separation, nor without owning up to my part (even though I was the lesser offender). I don't know your logistical situation, but all the more reason to seek help. These things do not always have a happy ending. But it is far worse to remain than to get out.

~Eliana

[Stacy Darling]

It takes some knowledge and understanding to post here Eliana! Especially if one is a carer, we have little rest!
Stacy!

[Cheryl T]

Sounds like it's time to leave.

[Raychel]

I know how you feel, There was some physical abuse in my marriage
but there was even more mental abuse. I left that situation almost 2 years ago.

Honestly the best move I ever made in my life.

Think about what you want to make your life happy.
life is to short to go thru that crap.

[Micki_Finn]

Is it possible, do you think, that maybe-just MAYBE-your wife wants the MAN back in her life that she married? Hmmm? I'm just sayin'.....
Jon

How, if this is even true, does it even remotely justify physical abuse?

[Crissy 107]

Micki, You are like a wise owl, very well put!

[Stephanie47]

Don't you think it's the WIFE who needs the counseling?

Spousal abuse, whether physical or verbal, is unacceptable. Yes, although it seems obvious a wife who is an abuser needs counseling, what of the husband who tolerates being abused? Do we not always advise a wife who is abused to seek counseling, establish an escape plan, etc?

I saw this with my father-in-law and his relationship to his girl friend, and, not even a girl friend in a sexual way. He constantly showed up with physical signs of being battered. He never sought to escape the relationship. Never was able to figure it out.

I can understand a wife not being on board with her husband's cross dressing and that may be a motivation to become irate "about the cross dressing," but, not to denigrate her husband as a person.

Just for information purpose, if a police officer was called to the residence for a physical disturbance, the officer is mandated by law in Washington State to arrest the physical abuser. It is NOT discretionary. It is mandatory. Your wife would have been taken to the jail and booked for physical spousal abuse.

[suzanne]

I'm not suggesting that you should ever hit her, but what would be the result if the tables were turned and you did? Would it be separation? Divorce? Criminal Charges? All of the above? Why are you not considering these options yourself?

You can't let it stand. You NEVER did anything wrong, although she'll probably imply that you're entirely the problem

[Patrica Gil]

Was in a abusive relationship for many years. She was very abusive and only got worse with the years. After we parted she wanted to be friends. Not happening. Life got instantly better without her around. Still she is very unhappy person, and took it out on me. You may just be a small part of the picture. She is responsible for her own happiness.

[ClosetED]

My wife did a poor job shaving my legs in anger a few years back and left me with a bit of bleeding. I did take pictures.She has a bad temper and more often says things she later claims she did not mean or throws things (which she apparently learned from her parents who fought all the time but did not hit each other and had police visit them).
As to a wife wanting the manse married, we are still the man they married. What about the thin, hard working, young wife I married? Don't I deserve to have her back? We change our appearance over a course of a marriage, and styles change in our various cultures. I am not sure if Stacy's wife was disabled when they married - does Stacy deserve have the non-handicapped wife back? SO that is not an acceptable argument.
Hope your photo shoot goes well tomorrow!
Hugs, Ellen

[Nigella]

This is not a crossdressing topic