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Thread: 7 months, really changed...

  1. #1
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    7 months, really changed...

    I'd been waiting to write this post to let feelings and thoughts can refine and settle well.

    I'm sure that many are curious about others transgenders body changes but the main purpose to write this thread is the deep changes in my mind, so please read up to the point on mindset changes:

    Physical changes:

    Obviously the first and more evident change is on the breast. As a 58 years old that once was overweight, I had some male boobs that hang a bit. Now they are bigger and women's shape that wife says C cup and that size bra fits me perfect. I can't go full time yet so when in male I always wear a sport bra that flatters the chest, without it hard thick nipples always pointing front and boobs bouncing while walking. Still some discomfort on the breast that sometimes is strong and very sensitive nipples. When I hit my chest is painful. I can't longer carry heavy weights against my chest. Sometimes laid back on the bed even the sheets and blankets push down on boobs. Wearing regular padded bras is the more comfortable way.

    Hair almost dissapear in all the body except head is more abundant now. I shave my whole body monthly just for any black thick hair could appear. Of course the more than a year using a hlp machine has helped a lot.

    Skin is very soft.

    I've lost some muscle mass as for example in wrists I had to reduce watch band. The triceps on the arms are noticeable thinner.

    Fat relocation is making the tighs a bit thicker but not noticeable on the butt.

    It has been hard to loose weight.

    Libido is almost zero but with wife had learn new ways of stimulation that keep the boy working but sensual spots had moved to new areas of my body as the chest, nipples and down there in the back between legs,( you know what I'm talking).

    The finger nails are very weak and easily break.

    Mindset:
    this is very important for me to get some feedback from you ladies.
    The first change that most of us report is the peace experienced with a reduction on the dysphoria. It's definitely not a placebo effect.
    Another change is the less or almost minimum need to post pictures of myself, especially those sexually loaded that I enjoyed in the past. Now I feel more secure about my femininity and even I'm clear and not delusional about my image as a male I see changes that Male me feel happy and more definited.

    The main change has been the completely change in my sexual orientation: for years I was bisexual. As I had been with more men than women I was arriving to the conclusion I was gay but that change soon after start hrt. Of course libido was kind of zero but now the images or porn videos that in the past could arouse me start bothering me.
    I reviewed tons of pics of myself on the past being very sexual and explicit, others showing a very promiscuous sexual life and I start feeling bad, very uncomfortable.
    Now just memories of that promiscuous life turn me sad. I remember had enjoyed touching hairy legs or the chest of a man and be aroused. I'm not going to be explicit with things that I used to enjoy that now more than no produce any arousal effect on me, really make me feel bad and sad. This is something that really bothers me, makes me sad everytime it comes to my mind. I don't know what to do about it.
    Fortunately, we enjoy so much sex with wife but in new and different ways that I guess lesbians do.

    Thoughts about it?
    HRT 042018; Full time 032019
    Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
    Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
    Breast augmentation surgery 012022
    GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION

  2. #2
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    Thank you so much for sharing this. I am of a similar age for starting HRT, and about three months behind you on the same course. Very exciting to be able to peek ahead at what may be in store for me.

    Mental side:

    I am feeling happier and more at peace than I have for years, now that I have stopped repressing who I am.

    I have also noted a distinct shift in what sorts of erotica / sexual situations stimulate me. I spent quite a few years prior to my own self-discovery writing erotic fiction - both for my own enjoyment, and as a semi-pro writer, creating stories and occasionally art on commission, for clients. I could crank out a detailed, high-quality 10,000 word story in just a couple of days of free time. But about the same time that I accepted my feminine aspect, and started spending a substantial portion of my public life as a woman, my interest in most types of erotica waned. Writing projects that could bring in ready cash were difficult to work on, and writing just for my own enjoyment almost flatlined. And this got even worse after HRT started kicking in! I attribute this mostly to allowing my female mindset to take control of my life, rather than striving to live as a straight or even bisexual male is expected to act in our culture. In short, the kinds of things I still found interesting tended more to love and romance, and less to hardcore smut. Now, a lot of what I used to enjoy writing or reading doesn’t interest me much at all.

    In my case, I was widowed a few months before I decided to quit repressing myself and really look at where my head was at. I went from identifying as a bisexual male who had agreed to a straight, monogamous marriage, to thinking of myself as a primarily lesbian female, to whom males were ‘okay, I guess, but a less desired choice if women are available.’

    Physical:

    Same tender breasts issue. Went from just under an A cup before HRT to just under a B cup now.

    Libido is lower, for sure. Even when I think it might be worthwhile to seek some self pleasure, I often lose interest. Everything still works well enough when I want it to badly enough, though.

  3. #3
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    Hi Vanessa,

    I have peace too, 16 months on from E and 11 months on from anti-A. I am now happy to see pictures of me, to see myself in the mirror, and also feel quite reserved in presenting any sexual image. An asexual female is how I feel, zero libido, and luckily my wife is happy just with our cuddling, which we do all night. I feel no anger now, which is wonderful. I guess i'm seeing gradual shifts in worldview for myself, being gradually more treated as a woman or at least neutrally.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  4. #4
    Member Anne K's Avatar
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    At 10 months and an estrogen level of 193, I am experiencing many of the same changes. Most notable is the mental changes and the peace I feel. Ditto on the erotica and libido. Breast development is noticeable, yet not major.

    I have no expectations or time schedule. I’m just letting the changes happen. My wife gave me a mani/pedi and painted my nail a nice, sparkling red. I have left it on and went about my daily errands in guy mode. Nobody said a word. So, that will be part of my transition.

  5. #5
    Member Lisalove1976's Avatar
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    Hey Vanessa,
    my changes are very similar to yours especially the peace of mind, I now somehow feel that I'm right and not wrong any longer. I get these thoughts in my head that would usually make me cringe but now just feel normal. I am self contious about the breast growth but also cannot go full time right so try to be careful especially when playing volleyball.
    I still haven't told the wife but for some reason I feel that if I tell her how much better I feel and that the thought of GRS isn't my main preoccupation anymore I think she might actually start accepting Lisa... hope it's not all just in my head.

    I find that most of the changes so far have been mental changes and most are related to sensitivity to others.... still haven't been able to cry but I'm sure that will come and I'm looking forwards to it

  6. #6
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    Wow Vanessa I've been keeping up with your changes and it sounds like you are proceeding very well. Thanks for writing and letting us all see how HRT is for the real. I will probably never go that route but the education of the progress is very interesting to me and I'm sure a lot of others. Please continue to keep us up to date on the progress.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lisalove1976 View Post
    I still haven't told the wife but for some reason I feel that if I tell her how much better I feel and that the thought of GRS isn't my main preoccupation anymore I think she might actually start accepting Lisa...
    Hi Lisa,
    Hormones are big deal. Hiding something that big can ruin the marriage regardless of what and how it makes you feel. My wife was just as horrified but I new that I had to tell her about hormones before starting and then give her few months to digest. She went with me to my apointment with endo in the end.
    Trust me, I understand the fear. Even after being on E low dosage for a year, I was hesitant to tell her that now I decided to ask for higher dosage because I want as much of the changes as I can. A year ago I was concerned about breast growth and now I embrace all the changes I get. I too more clear now that I am not interested in GRS. And yet, I felt for the marriage sake, I had to be open and tell that I will ask for higher dosage before doing so.
    You need to bite the bullet. The longer you wait, the worse off it may look on you.

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