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Thread: Is a 2nd birthday stupid?

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Is a 2nd birthday stupid?

    So... I've only been more properly dressing for a year (the usual on/off underdressing previously).
    But on the 5th of this month was when I came up with my femme name. Today I created an Xbox avatar for Abbie and was asked her date of birth. I paused. Typically I've used 'his' DOB but not today. This time I entered 5th Dec 1976 (bit optimistic but I'm hoping to knock 5 yrs off with the makeup, along with quitting drinking. ).
    So Abbie has a birthday. This must be a thing surely. So how many girls have a 'new' birthday??
    Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go - T. S. Eliot

    How glorious it is, and also how painful, to be an exception - Alfred De Musset

    Sometimes even to live is an act of courage - Seneca

    We suffer more often in imagination than in reality - Seneca

  2. #2
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Some folks here wonder why a 75 y/o man presents as a 20 something, Abbie?
    But then, I explain that Sherry's barely 21!

    I think selecting your fem bday and name r entirely up to u!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    When I was younger I had a birthday once a week if it suited. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  4. #4
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I use my avatar creation date from secondlife as Bridget's birthday

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Well then I shaln't worry my not-so-pretty lil head about it. 😄

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Abbie, Happy 2nd Birthday!
    Nice avatar!
    Crissy

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Thx. 42! (Again 'he' says, sighing wistfully)
    Is it weird that I now aspire to look like my avatar? She actually has slightly masculine limbs (though all the new Xbox avatars look a bit weird) but her makeup, hair, clothes. Yeah I'm gonna aim for that. ☺
    Last edited by abbiedrake; 12-15-2018 at 08:06 AM.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Abbie, no it is not stupid. We all have our anniversaries.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  9. #9
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    The dates of major events are important to most GGs. Never forget this.

  10. #10
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    Abbie,
    No matter happy .....th. birthday forget the actual year ! Well done for finding your true self .

    It would be nice to have february 29th , that would knock years off me !!! It looks like my new birthday could be the 18th. Feb. it's when I separated from my wife and moved into my new home and Teresa went full time . It may sound sad to some that I would want to celebrate but it felt like a new life had just started .

    Like it or not my avatar is , " What you see is what you get !"
    Last edited by Teresa; 12-15-2018 at 11:48 AM.

  11. #11
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Abbie,

    No, it's not silly at all. It's a significant day in the life of that part of you which you're looking to express to an ever greater extent. I look upon the day I joined here in much the same way. Helen didn't really exist in the way she does now. I dressed but didn't have a grasp upon just what it meant to me. That day was the birth, the start of a new affirmed me. Enjoy your special day.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  12. #12
    Member Lisa516's Avatar
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    No nothing is stupid and you're lovely...

    We're gonna have a good time tonight
    Let's celebrate, it's all right
    We're gonna have a good time tonight
    Let's celebrate, it's all right...

    Lisa,
    As many as 43 percent of all people with gender dysphoria attempt suicide in their lives. dont let yourself become part of that very tragic statistic.
    Balance-Dignity-Acceptance-Responsibility-

  13. #13
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    I had your same idea and created a thread time ago.
    I had one from when I fully dress the first time, the birth of Vanessa but later I decide to transition and many trasgenders see the first day on HRT as a new birth, several transsexuals see the birth when they have SRS so you're not wrong, is a common practice.
    HRT 042018; Full time 032019
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    Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
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    GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION

  14. #14
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    A while back, I used to celebrate my birthday every month. Gave me a good excuse to do whatever I wanted on that day; got me some free desserts at participating restaurants. After all, who's to say what's right or wrong? I'm also willing to celebrate every religion's holidays. The more, the merrier!
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Wow! I'm bowled over. I'm mean, it sounded like it should obviously be a 'thing' but this last year has been like a slow-motion whirlwind. But choosing my name and actually feeling quite definite about felt more of a watershed.
    @vanessa I'm too new to have yet trawled enough to have seen your thread and I would logically assume that such traditions and practices carry more weight for those who are transitioning.
    I've never had a sense of gender dysphoria so will not transition. However, I do feel like it was a watershed moment for an essential part of me long denied.

    Now... If I can only tell the wife. Gulp.
    I'd have liked her help in choosing a name but we're not there. I know that all the GGs probably collectively shuddered but the name came and felt 'right'. She's been patient thus far and I want her to dictate the pace. There will be a time, I know. Our marriage has been through more than most. She already knows of Abbie. She just hasn't been introduced by name.

    But once again thank you all. Not just for your replies on this thread but in this community in general.
    I have a related story but that's another thread.

  16. #16
    🌺🌸🌻🌸🌺🌸🌻🌸🌺 Patience's Avatar
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    I never gave the matter much thought, but I suppose the first time I went out crossdressed counts as a birthdate of sorts.

    My first anniversary is next year. Having two different birthdays makes me feel like a queen. Lol.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Daisy, As one of the members who help crowd your inbox thanks for the partial clarification.
    Crissy

  18. #18
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    Me and the wife have our 'Tranniversary' which celebrates the day that I told her, all those years ago, that I cross dressed. I'm sure though that it's just an excuse to put on some glad rags (me, not her) and have a good feed (both of us)

  19. #19
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Daisy, I think that you're way to see this "dream" is sick of pragmatism. People needs to dream. Thanks dreamers we can enjoy so many advances in technology science and civil rights freedom. I can see you're a cross dresser and haven't experience the freedom of finding your own you as a woman, but there are others that need to landmark their lives, so don't look down dreamers because is a natural and really important human being need. To create a new birthdate is not a new thing, Egyptians and other cultures use it as way to be reborn and leave back the sadness, frustration of past mistakes and errors. A reborn is a way to drop your heavy backpack and walk again in freedom, for some is to fly for first time.
    HRT 042018; Full time 032019
    Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
    Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
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    GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION

  20. #20
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Abbie,
    I think what you thought of/up is a lovely way to see your journey in this world, sure its not your realtime birthday but thats not to say you cannot create an alternative birthday.
    Creating this alternative birthday you can say to all and sundry how young you feel! In any case no woman reveals her true age so yes go for it girl and create BD you feel happy with, I would!!

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Abbie "Is a 2nd birthday stupid? NOT at all, it is life and what you want from it and how you feel about it, so no a second birthday is good and part of your character and a part of youand what goes to make the real you that you feel you are.
    Last edited by Bobbi46; 12-20-2018 at 03:15 PM. Reason: clicked twice to attach thread
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    @charlotte 'tranniversary' lol
    I'm loving that. Not sure the wife would. Just as I thought we were making a little headway she's gone into push-back mode. Oh well. Glad you and yours get into it though.

    Perhaps if I take @sometimes_miss suggestion she'd get on board. Free desserts just might do the trick.

  22. #22
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Abbie, You are new here and we have all seen where a little acceptance by a SO can lead to us going overboard and then the pushback. Slow everything up and just see how it all settles in. One of my biggest fears is that I overstep my limits from my wife’s view and I lose the acceptance I currently have. Slow is always the way to go.
    Crissy

  23. #23
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Keeping secrets isn't good for a relationship. My guess it is the number one reason CDs have problems. Not only will she worry about what other secrets you have, but she won't know enough about you and make guesses about your gender and sexuality. Then there is the pink fog, which can lead to the family being ignored. Not only take it slow, but put time into your relationships.
    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 12-21-2018 at 05:18 AM.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Thanks ladies. All good advice as ever.

    The wife and I do have a very solid relationship generally given that we're together 24/7 thanks to her disabilities. Many couples would have killed each other. 😄
    To clarify I don't resent her current position, her anxieties. It's perfectly understandable. Patience and communication are my bywords - two things we had to cultivate as her condition has worsened over the last decade.
    So with secrets, Marion, there aren't any (other than my femme name and that's just not been top of the list of things to discuss). Secrets are hard to keep when you live so much of your life in your spouse's company. Indeed I didn't so much come out as put on a dress and my wife was there to see it. Telling her I liked it was where the typical confusion began. Likewise she has very good reason to not question my sexuality (though her brother coming out as gay at 58 to his wife of 30 years might have raised the odd doubt!).
    I understand her sticking points pretty well now so it's just that patience and communication now to reassure her that nothing else has changed.
    I've also found it helps for 'him' to up his game. Though it's more down to a deeper desire for a better life, even better marriage, spending more attention on the wife and on 'his' male appearance have paid dividends. I guess it's a tad easier to accept femme me when 'he's' making a greater effort as a man.

    She just bought me another two Joe Browns dresses so I'm getting something right somewhere, whether by accident or design. ☺

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