"Lucky" as in, a CDer who lives in one of "those" cities or towns. One where people are "accepting"?
Or is this ^^^ thought process a CDing Myth?
"Lucky" as in, a CDer who lives in one of "those" cities or towns. One where people are "accepting"?
Or is this ^^^ thought process a CDing Myth?
There isn’t a city on the planet where 100% of people will be accepting. That being said, there are places that are more progressive than others. I live in one of the most LGBTQ friendly cities in the country and I can go out and do pretty much whatever I want and most people are friendly and accepting. However there are still intolerant people scattered around. I also have spent a good amount of time refining my presentation. I’ve seen girls around that look like they just dressed and put on makeup for the first time ever and yes, they do tend to draw looks and stares.
So no there isn’t a magical land of crossdressers, but there are lots of places where we can feel relatively safe to present.
Wildaboutheels ,
Lucky or not I just go out there as Teresa . My new home town did have a bit of a reputation but acceptance hasn't been a problem , nothing is off limits but that's how it should be . It really does depend what you want or need for being TG , want it bad enough it has to happen .
I live in a fairly tolerant area in a generally intolerant state. However, I've found so far that once people get to know me I have had no problems.
Suburban Houston. I have a mustache and routinely—2 or 3 days a week—go out fully en femme; eg, jeans or slacks, blouse or polo shirt, flats, usually a purse. Nothing frilly or especially girly. Shopping here and in Houston, includes trying on and buying dresses, lingerie, and other clothes in Target, Old Navy, thrift shops, &c. No one ever says anything negative. Most people don’t notice at all, I guess.
I live in he 4th largest metro-plex in our state. We have a very large number of transplants due to the nature of the work here. Space and Rockets and electronics. Never any trouble with the transplants, it is the "born and raised here" types that are the problem.
Leslie Mary Shy
Remember this:
You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
_________________________
I have been here a long time, maybe too long. The one thing I have learned from all the posts here is that if you more or less dress to blend, own it wherever you are, smile and talk to people, like strangers and regulars, and stay away from certain areas/places you will see that most places are safe places similar to where I live near San Francisco. There are many members here from the deep south, small towns and even Texas (you need to read some of the posts from our Texas members) who all go out, have fun and enjoy life with little to no issues. So, yes, there are those special cities like San Francisco, Austin, Texas, Los Angeles and New York City that are great places for those that do not have the confidence and courage to go out, to go out. However, most other places can be similar if one wants to be themselves out and about. I also understand and agree that sometimes we need to create our own "no fly" zones close to where we live. But, where there is a will there is also a way!
Setting aside one's no-fly zones (places where there is a reasonable possibility of encountering some whom you'd rather not be out to), and places where there's likely to be greater concentration of a dangerously intolerant demographic (not naming names, but you probably have a good idea)., and you're not likely to have a problem. Appropriate dress and comportment will almost always prompt people to treat you like the person you're presenting. It's true that we seldom rate a second glance in Houston's Montrose neighborhood, but even out the burbs, I have never encountered anything more threatening than a disapproving scowl.I
You don't need luck. Just age and venue appropriate dress, and proper comportment.
move to Canada, simples!
I lived in probably one of the better places for gay and tg's, Greenwich Villlage NYC. The East Village and Hells Kitchen were OK too. Also lived for a bit in Mount Vernon Baltimore which was OK. But the problem never comes from people one knows in the hood, it comes from strangers who visit the area to cause trouble. There were always people coming to the village to start trouble, thinking if they attack gays and tg's they would not get much thrown back at them. It's probably different today, it's better. I now live in a mostly red neckish, area, hunters and such and no one bothers me. Maybe I don't care anymore, maybe I don't go out much either.
In solitude where we are least alone. Byron
Yes. I am ponderously lucky. That's why I live in Las Vegas.
Actually, Las Vegas is where luck goes to die.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
I have been luck all my life, just take care and watch your surroundings.
I don;t live dangerously or take unnecessary risks.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I live in Central Kentucky and my city has a fairness ordinance which by law gay and trans folk are treated fairly as far as jobs and housing for example.Other things as well so life is fine here and very few issues.
People here are kind and for the most part very accepting.
Sure we have our share of nasty people but they are generally scared to even get close to a trans person.
They fear they will get cooties off a tranny lol.
Hell-o Wild,
Like Micki said, expecting 100% would be a myth. I’d be willing to bet that EVERY city will have some percentage of “accepting” people.
Playing nicely with others is something learned as a child. Being safe, and knowing your surroundings should be as well.
Much Love,
Kristyn
Traci...is that anywhere near the town of Luck Stop, Ky. ?
I smile because you are my friend, and
I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!
Micki I'll ask you what's been asked of me zillion of times, show us two pic's of your refined presentation. One face, the other full body. Thanks
I think people I have encountered are generally quite decent. For every, say, 10 people who might disapprove of me being out en femme, I can't imagine that more than one or two would want to see me physically harmed for it, and probably just one who would be inclined to come and challenge me themselves.
So if I go out during the day into a reasonably well populated place and someone gives me the death stare, if I just walk past them without looking confrontational, what are they gonna do? Tell my mom?!??..
(Umm... actually, that would be pretty effective against me
).
Seriously though, after I'm past them with all those other people around, there isn't really much more they can do other than to stop looking at me and carry on with their day. As for me,.. I'm long gone. I can't really expect much more than that.
It's quite similar to my male mode experience as a youth, when I think about it. I had more frequent shoutings at me from passing cars as a young male than abuse hurled at me when out en femme.
- Lydianne.
I don’t see how my pictures are relevant to the topic at hand.Originally Posted by deebra
I don't venture out into my home town,other than to hop on the train,which is 2 minutes from my home,not convinced how good an idea it would be
I usually go into the nearest big city to me,Glasgow,which for many years had an infamous reputation,In the city centre I haven't had any major incidents,the odd quizical look aside.And that helps make it easier for me deciding to be out and about a lot more.The normal safety measures apply,always be aware and don't go to dodgy areas.As has been said before nowhere is truly 100% accepting but its much better now than it has ever been imo
Lydianne,you've summed up perfectly how you should react to any adverse looks,I mean once by them that's them out of mind,your not likely to see them again
Sophie
We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire
========================================
A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
I'd like to think I'm lucky. I live in the North West of England. I know plenty of girls who can certainly enjoy a decent nightlife without fear of injury. Sadly, I've yet to confirm.
2019?! Subject to spousal negotiations.
Lydianne,
That does sum it up , stop looking for a reaction and you won't get one ! I'm usually pushed for time anyway so it's all about fleeting glances , OK sometimes you do wonder what they are thinking , exactly what did I register as ?
Up close maybe going through the clearance racks , some GGs don't care who gets the elbow as long as they get the dress , I'm just another female checking out the same items .
Abbie,
Make it sooner rather than later you won't regret it , I hope you get your wife/partner on board .
Yes I would absolutely call myself lucky. I live in London which is such a fantastic accepting city and has so many social events going on for us peeps you never get bored. London people are so busy and enthralled with their own lives they don't seem to even have time to care. I've been out fully dressed daytime on a few occasions and always a pleasure. Add to that some of the best shopping in the world. Genetically too I'm blessed with 5 7' height and a natural slim/athletic figure. I have a pretty large nose and hands but can't win em all eh? haha
I've come to the conclusion that there are very few settings now where social conservatism or predatory instincts are a dominant force controlling people's individual behavior. That is why we hear from members that their small rural town is fine with them being themselves.
IMHO, being fully present, owning our presentation, and doing whatever we are doing while radiating peace with ourselves is the key.
If we look at someone and wonder what they feel about us, it triggers them to wonder why we are wondering- what is our internal weirdness we are wondering if they will accept? Uncertainty breeds discomfort, and the desire to avoid us.
If we look at someone and smile and think about how nice they are, they feel good and respond in kind. The penalty for unfamiliarity lasts only a few seconds- in which people go- "well, I just met my first crossdresser, and it is not actually a problem to know what to do with them."
We are all beautiful...!
"Lucky" Crossdressers are the ones who pass well enough to not have to worry about where they live :P
Deebra, I've been out with Micki-Finn. She's a beautiful young lady! I envy her feminine presentation.
Yes ,
There are places with more support, where others have gone before, and the path is very wide and easy you could say. Like where Carla Lives in Vegas, they have a drop in center, a place you can go and just hang out. I have been there, good people, that are there with help and support if needed.
Lucky, you could be referring to me.
Was I just in the right place at the right time for me, or could anyone have come alone and done what I have?
Allie, I've been to SF, I just haven't spent much time there, no problems, other then there is no parking.
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