Well as creepy as it is, you should still take it as a compliment.
As you must have passed or his comment probably would have been much more crude.
Well as creepy as it is, you should still take it as a compliment.
As you must have passed or his comment probably would have been much more crude.
I haven't read the other comments in this thread but honestly you're overacting a bit like you're surprised whit the man's comment. I think, if that was true, that you should feel complimented and not insulted.
One more thing, in Spanish there ie a said, the guilty does belong to the pigs but to who feed them. (I hope it makes sesnse)
I've seen some of your post and the way you like dress is openly provocative sexy and sensual.
I don't condem you. I was there before too. I can imagine the rest of the attire. If you add the breast plate and a tight miniskirt the scenario is that you're asking it.
I saw in one of your threads no so long that you were thinking on transition. I have bad news for you, no everything in the life of a woman is sex. More than that, in many women, transwomen, sex plays a small role.
Last edited by Devi SM; 12-18-2018 at 03:31 PM.
HRT 042018; Full time 032019
Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
Breast augmentation surgery 012022
GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION
I didn't hear how those words were said, obviously, but I got the feeling that the beer you saw him holding wasn't his first one that day.
What a way to experience the kind of vulnerability women feel as a matter of course. Some of us can only dream of experiencing that aspect of femininity, for better or for worse.
Nobody should feel discouraged from presenting themselves how they see fit; but on the other hand, people must accept that for every choice they make there is a price and there's no way to separate one from the other.
When haters hate, I celebrate!
You were maybe the most attractive woman he had seen in a long time, and those heels would turn any head. Some guys are so starved for attention, let alone sex, that a beer will loosen their tongue, when they see someone pretty strutting by. It is not right though.
Guys of this type need to be removed from the Earth.
1. I once got called "tramp". I caught it on video. You should not take his comments as a compliment. We can't desire the equality with women to wear their clothing and then turn into guys when this stuff happens. Inconsistency will lose us support. You need to dismiss his comments with the same disdain as if he has said them to a woman... i.e. a slur on her fidelity.
2. We all know what should happen, and we all know what does happen. This knowledge does not infringe on your freedom to make any choice you wish. I would think your personal safety is more valuable than your valuables. I am in no doubt that you keep your valuables airtight...
I understand that sometimes we want to wear something special. When that's the case, then there is the option to adjust venue and accompaniment to compensate and reduce risk.
It would be so nice if we could eliminate the risks, but that remains a hope.
- Lydianne.
Lydianne, you speak much sense on a thread fraught with hysteria.
Well done.
Not too long ago I watched a video of a young woman walking down a city street. She was minding her own business. She was not dressed provocatively. Her companion walked in front of her with a hidden camera recording the insulting comments of a sexual nature for quite a long time. She was nice looking. This is the life a woman endures in our society.
If you think this just happens to women, it also happens to guys. Maybe not as much and not as brazen. When I was twenty-four and just out of army I was at my military weight (175 pounds) at six foot two. I was traveling on the #7 IRT Flushing line to a job interview in a suit. Minding my own business. I guy came up to me and offered a sexual service." Only in New York! Another time a guy made an advance unseen by me on the same train line, but, this time I was accompanying with my eight month pregnant wife. It was obvious my wife and I were to together. Rude and crude is all over. My wife endured the same the OP did many times in her late teens and early twenties. Totally unsolicited sexual comments while minding her own business in mid town Manhattan.
Last edited by Shelly Preston; 12-19-2018 at 08:29 AM. Reason: you have been here long enough to know some things are not allowed
Lydianne (#30), yes, that's what I wanted to say, particularly your point 1, which is lost on very many peope here.
Sorry that this happened to you.
I once got a bad comment as well. I was at a party at Triangles, which doesn't exist anymore. A guy watched me and asked 'Are you a top or bottom?'....
I thought that was pretty bad as well.
Interesting that many folks take it as “passing”, however the comment was probably to project the stereotype of crossdressing of being for a sexual purpose.
One of the yardsticks I use to judge these things by is if you were walking a few yards behind your SO or your daughter and I guy made an obviously demeaning remark to them how would you react?
I seriously doubt that you'd consider that the guy was complementing your SO/daughter.
If that's the case then if such a remark is made to you when dressed then you should view it in the same way. If you take it as a complement upon your ability to "pass" then I'm sorry to say you're part of the problem. It you're condoning sexism and bigotry.
This isn't a witty chat up line from beer guy. It's a demeaning, belittling remark showing contempt for women.
One wonders what beer man would have made of a comment based on his appearance. You know, along the lines of 'Your liver must cry itself to sleep'.
Also, perfectly put Helen.
I don't know where the guy was relative to where you were walking to, but I would have gone the long way around him. You identified a potential danger, which is good. Avoid going near threats like that, if possible.
The comment does not mean she passed. He could have read her and just wanted to make a rude comment. Either way I wouldn't be flattered.
Seriously? If everyone on this earth was allowed to remove everyone he or she disagreed with, there would be no people left on this earth.Guys of this type need to be removed from the Earth.
Let's be real here. What the guy said was crude but by no stretch of the imagination does it rise to the level of capital punishment. It wasn't even a crime. We are allowed "freedom of speech" in this country even if others don't agree with what we say. If you encounter speech that bothers you, ignore it, go away and don't come back or tell the person you don't like what he or she said. If we're going to leave to comfort of our homes and go out and face the public, we're going to have to learn to deal with the public, good and bad.
Krisi
Yes it happens to me in guy mode too. I have been propositioned by men and women it guy mode too. Wearing a t-shirt and jeans. None of them were drinking beer. Some people? It is just part of life.Originally Posted by Stephanie47
You can do as I do and ignore these people. If not possible like a customer I simply say I'm married. I had one women then say I am too. I didn't say anything else.
You could do like my oldest daughter. She would have torn him a new one. Her mouth is completely uncensored. She will tell you exactly what she thinks. She will even cross the street like if some guy from a construction site whistles. Really you do not want this crazy redhead in your face.
Sorry this happened Yin and thank you for sharing this incident.
It would not happen to any person, but unfortunately it does. It is inappropriate to be referring to a stranger's imagined sexual habits.
You can view it as passing as he did not seem to offend you differently than a GG.
What is the best response to this inappropriate behavior? Capital punishment? Physical attack? Snappy comeback? Call the police? Or just ignore it. You moved away quickly, possibly giving him some satisfaction he got to you. Did you really feel he might directly interact with you?
We can turn this thread into a discussion to prepare others for a similar situation and the best way to handle it.
I vote for ignore it unless he followed you, then I am not sure of the next best step - yell out for public awareness of the unwanted attention or try to move off quickly. Depends on your comfort level with public scrutiny.
Hugs, Ellen
Cheers,
- Lydianne.
Last time I was at a convention center I escorted a GG to her car as we were part of the event clean up crew and the parking lot was nearly empty. Can't be too careful these days.
I was called a wh*** once...by a middle age woman. All for the crime of wearing a knee length skirt and, presumably, just being me. The guy in the original post was a bell end and so was my interlocutor with the inferiority complex. Just walk on.
I know that train. Took it many times from Jackson Heights to the city. I had a guy sitting across from me on that train doing something I can't write here cause it would get deleted. As long as he stayed in his seat I didn't care.
I can't tell you how many times I run or have run into these situations. It happens almost every time I go out and it's not a nice feeling. In NYC guys always come up to me with crude remarks and it doesn't matter what I am wearing. Even as a youngster guys said the same stuff to me. Bad men are bad men, it doesn't matter how one looks and dresses they are bad men.
There were times at night in NYC when I turned a corner and down the block a bit was a bunch of guys coming my way. I would turn around and walk the other way. If they yelled at me I would jump into a cab and take it for a few blocks, pay him and get out and continue walking home. There were times when I was off guard and a guy managed to follow me to my building vestibule. I wouldn't open the door with my key, I would ring my own bell knowing there would be no answer and walk away and come back later on.
You got to learn how to handle yourself in these situations. The word I use is street smarts. Sometimes it happens so much you get a "spidey" sense that it's going to happen when you see a stranger coming up to you. You can feel a bad situation before it gets to you. That's why some women cross the street when they see someone they don't trust standing up the street.
Last edited by Amelie; 12-19-2018 at 06:55 PM. Reason: Added stuff
In solitude where we are least alone. Byron
Amelie, You nailed this, I could not agree more. Good post!
Crissy
Well said Krisi. If we could hear audibly what other people are thinking, the world would be empty of humans soon, as we would all be at each others throats. Its bad enough, the way things are!
Rule #1: The world is full of assholes. Look at the bright side, you aren't a woman who has had to deal with this kind of nonsense on a daily basis.
I was called a fat ass today so I said thanks so much for noticing and continued shopping.
OK, drunk guy on a bench makes an inappropriate comment. Scary, truly, since I've had the same thing happen, although it wasn't in front of a mall.
On the plus side (kind of) was the fact that he didn't call you out with the usual homophobic slurs. He was, in fact, complimenting you (in a lewd crude way) by intimating that you are so desirable that you spend a lot of time on your back.
Please note that I am NOT condoning this behavior, but it could have gone a lot, lot worse.
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