Frightening situation while shopping...

[Brandi Christine]

I have been underdressing at work semi frequently lately and was doing so last Wednesday. And let me tell you did I have a scare.

So, one of the little games I play with myself is that I can only buy women's clothing, makeup etc… if I am dressed in some way and I wanted to do some shopping after work. Under my work clothes I was wearing a pink bra, nude thigh highs, a thong and a little zebra stripe camisole top with garters to keep my thigh highs up. I absolutely love the feeling of being dressed up right in front of someone and they don't have a clue. When shopping I take my uniform shirt off, so I was wearing a neon yellow undershirt & swapped out my boots for a pair of women's size 10 running shoes that aren't too obviously girly. I wore a gray zip up vest as the bra was kinda visible through the shirt.

After shopping at TJ Maxx where I found a nice pair of tights, I headed to a goodwill nearby in a rough area of town. I like Goodwill stores for their great deals and usually no one pays attention to me shopping in the women's clothing n stuff. Nothing girly caught my eye but one of my other interests are bikes, and here I found two good ones, one of which I decided to buy. As I am looking at it, another guy comes up and looks at the second bike, checks it out, and starts walking with it to the back of the store. So I'm headed to the cashier to purchase my bike, and while in line I see him park the bike he took a little off to the side of the front doors, walk up to the doors, then walk back to the bike, which he then proceeded to push towards the door. In a past life I was an AP Officer at a major retailer, and something just tripped inside me, so as he got to the door I yelled "Hey dude, are you gonna pay for that bike?"

He immediately veered away from the door, yelling at me "What do you mean, I'm not stealing it, are you trying to steal the bike you have" as he went around the registers with the bike and got in line right behind me, continuing to accuse me of accusing him of being a thief.

Oh My God he was such an asshole, he got up in my face and continued yelling at me, I told the cashier who was clueless that she might want to call the police, instead she called the manager, I explained the situation, and of course he was still yelling and trying to intimidate me. I had this vision of him attacking me, and what the small crowd of shoppers would see if that happened, at the very least my pantyhose, and who knows what else, not to mention me having to defend myself and possibly getting hurt.

The manager calmed him down and took him aside as I paid for my bike. He left as I was paying, and I walked my bike to the door and saw him get into a car a couple of parking places outside the door with another guy in it. I talked with the manager, she said he told her he would be back in three hours to purchase the bike, I told her she needed to be on the lookout for him. As I went to leave I saw them just sitting in the car waiting, and I was kinda concerned… But they backed out and I went out the door, but as I headed off the sidewalk they parked out in the lot watching me. I doubled back and hid behind a wall, and was getting ready to call 911 just to be on the safe side when they moved again, parking several spaces down from the door on the opposite side they were originally on, and I could see the guy get out and look towards me (he didn’t see me, I was kinda in a shadow). Just then a semi slowly came by and I was able to use it as concealment to get to my van, throw the bike in and get in quickly. Oh my god my heart was beating out of my chest but I got away. That could have ended soooo badly…

[Maria in heels]

WOW! I think that I would have done the same thing, and unfortunately, the rules are no longer the same. You were right in thinking that he was going to take the bike and run, and that it 100% wrong. However, in todays climate, it's sometimes better to just let things go, because doing the right thing can lead to something disastrous. The intimidation factor is a learned trait, and it sounds like that person has done this before. It's also a trait of an addicted person ... they will get in your face when being accused of something because they are trying to hide their problem, and eventually, it becomes an immediate, normal reaction.

Thankfully, you were not hurt and everything ended up ok ... you were able to leave without the two following you, and most importantly, he was not able to leave the store without paying. In hindsight, while I know that you did what you know was right, maybe Goodwill treats thefts like CVS pharmacy stores...rule is not to get into any type of confrontation and just turn around and walk away, allowing the person stealing to leave. You did your good deed, and i'm sure that some good Karma will be following you!

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Brandi,

Good for you for doing the "right" thing.

Theft is wrong and what he did afterwards was just as immoral. He'd been caught and was trying to deflect suspicion from himself. No he wasn't going to pay for it, that was obvious.

I agree the store should have called the Police. This guy was trouble and as you elaborated on was seriously considering causing you trouble. Never hesitate to call 911, especially in this case was him and his accomplice were obviously acting suspicious.

As this can happen anywhere you might want to consider taking a self defense class or something else. Just a thought.

[Beverley Sims]

Maybe a frightening thing but you have the satisfaction of preventing a crime and being a good citizen.

[docrobbysherry]

I think your post was an important warning for everyone, Brandi. When u confront someone who may be dangerous or criminal? Expect negative consequences!
It was nice of u to get involved, but NOT directly!

In your situation I would simply have pointed the man out to a store employee and let them follow their "possible theft" procedure. Stores have at least one security person trained to handle those situations.

[Georgia K]

Good on you for standing up to the thieving scumbag .

[ToniG]

We DO have a lot of transients, homeless, rehabs, and various sorts in my area here. They cause "issues" at the walgreens, GW store, junk-in-the-bag, subway etc.. Best to report things to store folks- and to avoid confrontations. We have constant PD activity & presence--mostly due to the # of no-tell motels here. On my bank-walk enfemme today--did two detours to avoid poss intoxicated transients at the bus stops. While back the junk-in-the-box folks removed their outside tables---as the "motel-rats" would congregate there and bother customers. Any time I leave my place--have one of my canes with me-- Dressed or drab. Have reported things to the store & restaurant folks on occasion-- but Never directly confronted Anyone. Be Safe out there---Dressed or not. Toni G..

[Aunt Kelly]

Brandi, so glad you came through it OK. I must say, as I read your account, I was impressed by your willingness to do the right thing, and especially by your situational awareness and cool headed actions when things went a little sideways. Well done, girl!

[Tracii G]

Stuff happens but you started it remember that.
You could have alerted the cashier to the situation and let her deal with it.
By blurting out you put yourself in that situation so be advised putting your nose in other peoples business isn't always the thing to do.
I dislike thieves in general.

[GaleWarning]

Kudos to you, Brandi.
Too few people these days ARE prepared to 'get involved'.
Thieves thrive on the reluctance of the general populace to stand up to them.
Ditto for bullies.
I salute you.

[ambigendrous]

I'm reminded of a situation that happened to a friend of ours a few years ago. They were shopping in a local Joanne Fabrics store and were waiting in line at the checkout. There was an older lady paying for her items, and near the door there was an older man standing with a cart containing 3 sewing machines. The lady finished her transaction and walked out the door - as she passed the man with the cart he fell in behind her and headed off into the parking lot, pushing the cart. He did not follow her to her car, but got into a different car, It turned out that he had just shoplifted those 3 sewing machines!

[Ressie]

Stores are loaded with cameras now days and I'm sure that any evidence has been videotaped.

[Majella St Gerard]

Report theft but don't get involved, that's a nice way to get yourself hurt.

[OCCarly]

Probably the only reason he backed down is that in most states a theft becomes a strongarm robbery if the thief gives any resistance to anyone trying to stop the theft. Before gender transition, I probably would have called the guy out and confronted him too.

But I’m a woman, and I’ve lost a lot of muscle to hormonal transition. And at 5’7,” I’m small and totally non threatening in appearance. As such, my days of confronting anybody are over.

As a woman, you have to rethink your role in society, where you go and under what circumstances, and how you handle bad behavior.

Please, be careful out there.

[Brandi Christine]

Here's the kinda funny part, or call it the intriguing part of all this. As a guy I'm the confident strong silent type, I can take care of myself, and I have several tools that I carry at work (and was carrying at the time) that easily could double as self defense weapons (tactical flashlight, electricians scissors etc…). I am also a CWP holder and when not working I am always armed (I was not in this case as I had been working). The odd part is even though I spoke up, I was afraid when confronted when I usually wouldn't be, whether it was because I was afraid of being exposed, or my feminine side taking over I don't know, but I was honestly afraid when ordinarily I would step up without hesitation…

The same happened on one of my outdoors walks while dressed a few weeks ago, I had never been out dressed (this was my second outing ever, and the second that week, and it was at night), it was in a small town up north, I thought someone was following me. I had my flashlight but nothing other than that, until I determined that no one was actually following me I was terrified…

[susan54]

I salute your willingness to do the right thing when someone was doing the wrong thing. I suspect the US is no different from the UK when it comes to people with mental issues. They call it Care in the Community but go easy on the care bit. There are thus people wandering around who do not play by ANY of society's rules and could kill you even without provocation. Yes, the proportion is small but it might be greater among those who are already breaking rules - I don't have any knowledge of this. And in your country they might have guns. I would be scared.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Kudos to you for having the fortitude to do your civic duty, and the smarts to stay safe after the fact.

Cass