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Thread: An unexpected bonus

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member
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    An unexpected bonus

    I live in the Highlands of Scotland, an area where everyone is supposed to screw their face up at anything so aggressively modern as crossdressing. The reality is very far from this. I go out a lot. Sometimes I am fully dressed sometimes I am a man in a skirt or dress and sometimes I shop for womenswear as a man. I shop in department stores, chain stores and boutiques. I try things on. Without exception everyone is accepting and lovely. The real bonus however is in one-off boutiques. The owners seem to love crossdressers. I am greeted like a long lost friend when I go in, and get helpful suggestions on what suits me and why, plus sometimes lengthy conversations about crossdressing. I have a woman friend I meet up with in male and female modes - I met her when wearing a dress at a fashion show and she has become a great friend. I would never have met these lovely women if I was not a crossdresser and I would have lost out on wonderful experiences. If you are one of those who orders off the internet I would urge you to get out there and use bricks and mortar shops. The experience of buying in person cannot be beaten and we are in danger of losing more and more of these havens if shopping moves to the internet. So there are more benefits to wearing a dress to shop than just experiencing wearing a dress.

  2. #2
    Banned Spammer
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    I agree go shopping and have fun stop being so scared.

  3. #3
    Oh my god, I'm a girl! jazmine's Avatar
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    ...I like what Tracii G said.
    So I like dressing like girl. BIG DEAL!

  4. #4
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    I agree. Both large and small ladies wear shops cosmetics shops and pretty much anywhere is glad of your custom and very welcoming.

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Mermaiden's Avatar
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    Susan, thanks for the encouragement. I have been internet shopping or self checkout at Target but have wondered about asking a boutique clerk for advice.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Susan,
    I also had that view of Scotland, maybe next time I will try pushing the boundaries or at least interact with some of the locals.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  7. #7
    Member Shirley Anne's Avatar
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    Susan Ive bought clothes shoes and cosmetics in may shops but have never gone out dressed in public in Inverness. I dont know what you look like but Im 6ft 2in without my heels so would stand out like a sore thumb. The things Ive heard said in general conversation I dont think Inverness is ready to embrace crossdressing yet.

  8. #8
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Well, Scotland does have a tradition of men wearing the skirt-like kilts as their traditional garb, so maybe that has something to do with run-of-the-mill crossdressing not being seen as that big of a deal there.

    Bear in mind, also, that the rugged Scots were never looked upon as being particularly effeminate despite wearing these kilts. A historical anecdote that underlines this tells of German troops who sometimes found themselves facing tough Scots regiments during the brutal trench warfare of WWI. They routinely dubbed them "The Ladies from Hell" during these encounters as a mark of respect for their tenaciousness and bravery.

  9. #9
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    Leslie - I don't think the positive Scottish attitude is remotely related to kilts. No one wearing a kilt feels remotely feminine and in Scotland at least no one wearing one is perceived as remotely feminine. I think the Scottish open mindedness is exactly that

    Shirley Anne - I don't pass as a woman and accept this. I am not as tall as you but I have a very male profile though I have a good figure and legs. I have only been in the centre of Inverness once dressed and it is one of only two times someone has said "That's a man" in my hearing. It was just a comment - there was no hostility involved. I don't have a problem with that as I do not identify as a woman even when fully dressed. I regard such comments merely as a failure of my acting skills. I have frequently been to the Retail Park and Holm Mills fully dressed and as a man in a skirt - no issues. There are shops in the centre of Inverness where I am free to try on dresses when dressed as a man (sorry - not prepared to name them). The ones where I dress as a woman tend to be in outlying areas such as Nairn and I know that at least one of the shops in Lossiemouth gets a LOT of crossdressers, not just me. My reluctance to go into the city centre dressed is purely down to the likelihood of meeting someone I know - it is not because of any attitude issues on the part of the locals, though I would not venture into a pub like The Gellions in a dress. Actually I wouldn't go into The Gellions anyway. I haven't invented all these lovely women I have encountered but if you have judged the situation differently that is up to you. I find that confidence and an open smile open attitudes wherever I go. If you are nice to people they tend to be nice to you. I am having coffee tomorrow with a woman friend I met when wearing a dress (though I will just be my male version this time) - she and I met at a fashion show and the first few times we met up socially I was fully dressed as a woman. We will discuss clothes at some point but they will be less than 5% of the conversation. This really is possible if you let it happen.

  10. #10
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    Back on shopping out in town. I hadn't been out long but I can say shopping for under things with the wife, she has a nice set but doesn't have a clue what bra looks good on her and what doesn't. Anyway in the male mode I have been told many times by the sales girls they wished there husbands took more interest in what they wore under their clothes and have not gotten any negatives. I hope some day to experience that in the feminine.

  11. #11
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    I'm glad the Highlands and Islands have dragged themselves, kicking and screaming in some cases,into the new century Susan

    I think fashion boutiques have realised that your average CDer who visits their shops are pretty knowledgeable in what they like and in what they want. At the other end of the spectrum I find charity shops are the same,at start of my journey I went to a shop where the lady would put things away for me was a huge help to me in my formative Years

    As a wee aside,for non Scots you do realise your average Scotsman will probably be lucky if wears a kilt 2 or 3 times in their entire lives

    Sophie
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

    ========================================

    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
    A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
    Facebook:Sophie Johnson

  12. #12
    Member Shirley Anne's Avatar
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    Susan, I actually have no problem with shops or the women in them although I havent tried on clothes in any shops< im far to well known in the town for that, Like yourself there is no way I could openly walk about the town without meeting someone I know, and as for the Gellions your spot on. I dont think there is much problem with women but in my opinion a lot of the male population of Inverness are still in the dark ages

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    I've asked for help plenty when it comes to makeup, just not clothes yet. Although I often find they're no better than me in picking suitable stuff. Same for clothing, I'm pretty confident in my sizing and style so I don't need an SA. As Rochel said I, too, often get complimented on my engagement when out clothes shopping with the wife. She's had strangers asking to borrow me after the heard me pointing out a top that would look nice with an a-line skirt. I've never been the hubby who sits forlornly outside the dressing rooms.
    But yeah, I do shop bricks and mortar and I even have SAs I could call friends (so I'd agree, Susan. 😁 ) as they know about my dressing. I've shown them pics of my shoes etc. (They were so jealous. 😬 ) And in return they find me a breath of fresh air compared to their near-mute hubbys. Sad really, how programmed males are in suppressing rather than expressing. 😒
    Last edited by abbiedrake; 01-03-2019 at 09:12 AM.

  14. #14
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    Mail order is not an option for me unfortunately so I have to buy in shops. That said I have yet to encounter any problems with me buying female items openly for myself, in fact most SAs have been very helpful and courteous.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  15. #15
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I also agree that it is more fun shopping in person. Also I think it is nice to support the small local shops rather than give our money to the big chains and the internet. At least our money stays in the community, and keeps our towns thriving. Besides once you cultivate a relationship with a local store owner, they keep an eye out for things you might like and they'll give you a second opinion of what works for you and what does not.
    I found this one gown that I fell in love with at this one store I shopped at, in my pink fog I would have bought it, however the owner told me that it really didn't fit right and she was right. Once the pink fog drifted off I probably would have never worn it, but to this day I still love that dress and I wish that it had fit.

  16. #16
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    Of course most SAs love us. We buy stuff. Who doesn't like being paid?

    Shop in person. It is far more fun.

    In the past 20 years, I have worked with countless SAs and spent an enormous sum. Only two objected to my presence while trying on things in drab: one who made a snide comment about me to another shopper and one who loudly demanded that I leave a dressing room that I did not ask permission to use. Neither made a sale.

    I love working with a store's professional shopper, wardrobe consultant, whatever the title. They know where the best stuff is. They have a good idea of what looks good on my body. Their help is worth the few extra dollars. I get my best items with them.

    If I have the good fortune to find an SA who volunteers to "start a room", I have hit the jackpot. They help me with finding the good stuff, answer questions, coordinate outfits, and even bring me garments another size while I am in the dressing room. I owe my favorite suit and coordinated outfits, my favorite designer, my best dresses, and my workhorse tops and skirts and shoes to them. And they kept me from some wasteful spending. Their help is worth every penny in commission.

  17. #17
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    Though I agree that shopping in person can be a wonderful experience this was not my point. My point is that I have met some lovely women I would not otherwise have met. A friend I now go shopping and have coffee with in both male and female outfits is not in retail but we would not have met if I had not been in a dress - we were both attending a fashion show. And with some of the women who are in retail, we have become sufficiently friendly to socialise outside that situation. As an example, I have been for a drink with a very pro-CD owner of a lingerie shop, and I have set up retail opportunities for her. The owner of a boutique has invited me to go shopping with her and her daughter (whom I have also met when dressed) in another city - so this is not a commercial situation for her - just her being friendly. All of this socialising would not be possible if I had not been a crossdresser who was prepared to go out dressed.

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