Is it essental that we venture out dressed, in order to further the 'cause'?

[Teresa]

Now I've read the rest of the replies I guess I must be a bit of a flag waver .

I will be attending the pride week again in Boston College ( UK Boston ) to help any students with TG issues , last year I joined two other members of my social group talk to a group of delegates on how well the NHS has cared for us with TG issues . Last month I collected in the hotel for the Lincs and Notts air ambulance during one of our social meetings and will be doing another collection this month .

I do believe we have to show our faces because we are still active members of society . Everytime I read a good story about acceptance at work or other public places I hope that the ones who have stepped out in the RW have contributed something to that outcome .

To take Wild's point I dress to integrate , that encompasses the fact I have been read and I don't pass 100% the important point is I have been accepted .

[Becky Blue]

In my opinion going out is a totally personal thing. For me it is an essential part of who I am and what I need to do, but I am not doing it to further any agender (SP pun intended). When I am out I am however representing this community even if I do not want to, so if I am picked I am being judged. I hope that people that I come into contact with can see that although I am dressed as a woman, I am a nice, kind gentle decent person and that I hope I am creating a positive vibe. That is why for me its important to try blend in and be as 'normal' as possible.

[Kas]

What is the “cause”?

Are you referring to the LGBT movement?

Everything I do is for me personally and I don’t care about any greater “cause”.

[Lana Mae]

I go out dressed for me! If it strengthens the "cause" then it is just a side effect of my going out! Hugs Lana Mae

[Nikki A.]

I don't have an issue with those that don't go out. It is their prerogative.
As for myself, I do go out on a regular basis. I do it for myself, not to further the cause. On the other hand, by being out and about I do hope that I do set an example and do try to change people's opinions of what we do and why we do it. I do think I have made a difference at least one person at a time

[sometimes_miss]

One of the big problems with being 'out', is that everyone just assumes that your support for TG people is all because you have a self interest agenda that you're following. Staying in the closet, and demonstrating acceptance of those with alternative lifestyles is just as important, because it carries more weight with the normals, as they assume that I'm one of them. Much of the fear comes from homophobia, so helping them to get over that as well will be a positive thing.

[Jaymees22]

Sometimes I go out just "cause".

[Diane Taylor]

The longer we stay invisible, the longer it'll take to be accepted. However, I respect one's desire to remain closeted.

[Cassandra Lynn]

In it's simplest terms we go out firstly for our selves, and secondly, while we are out the greater good get's done. Provided of course that we do so confidently and politely.
I'm one of those mixed gender non-binary types, and I've had many discussions with everyday peeps and have done my part to loosen up some thick headed folks in the process.

If anyone thinks "i'm just one person, I can't make any difference", well your wrong it's numbers that makes a change, mostly a very slow one, but it does help.

When I first hung out around this site several years ago there was a much more militant vibe about getting out, and I for one am glad to see it has lessened, we don't need to be brow beaten.

I do more for the cause in my local community (I'm in the recovery field and LGBT people are a plenty and they can be marginalized there just like they are in other places), and by being active n the U.U. church.
Cass

[giuseppina]

Thank you and well put, Sometimes Miss (#31).

[GaleWarning]

Thank you to everyone who has contributed so far.
I am assimilating your comments.
Please carry on ...

[t-girlxsophie]

I don't go out to be a flag bearer or to further the cause, but I do believe when out I have a responsibility to carry myself in the best possible manner, so even if I get looks it's just the person's curiosity their not thinking WTF is that. For the longest time I was of the school that thought oh I can't wear trousers I must be in a cute dress or skirt, but I've learnt a lot and feel I blend pretty well in each situation
But you'll never hear me say one thing against those that stay closeted

Sophie

[Andrea2656]

It is certainly not essential to further the "cause" to go out in the real world. For members (or non-members) who are just exploring there gender identity a clarion call to "Go out dressed for the cause" is not a good message. One thing we know is that we have a diverse community. Those who are out in the real world have made that decision for a reason that fits with their personal identity. There lifestyle is certain an inspiration to many of us, including myself, who is not out in the real world. They may help to normalize the appearance of TG/CD girls in our society and thereby gain acceptance. However, this is not an obligation for the TG/CD individual.

[kimdl93]

No one is under any obligation to go out. Being out should to be a positive, freeing experience, not a chore.

One can advance the interests of transgender people in many other ways. Expressing tolerance, educating others and pushing back against bigotry all help...especially one person at a time.

[Krisi]

The real question is; What is this "cause"?

[Helen_Highwater]

I suppose other questions that could be asked are, "What would happen if non of us went out? If we all stayed in the closet?".

If non of us are out there then there's no need for tolerance and acceptance. Effectively we wouldn't exist. We'd be a problem that didn't need a solution.

So as others have said, It's not that any of us go out with the sole and prime objective of furthering our cause but if non of us go out then there is no cause to further. Perhaps if you swapped furthering the cause with going out and also creating a good impression then that suits what we do better.

[suzanne]

OMG, no. You don't have to get out there and be seen if you're not ready for it. We all have our own lives to live, with our own particular constraints to obey. Some of us are permanently closeted, some are completely free, and anything in between can happen. Only you know where you stand.

But those fortunate few of us who are free are making it easier for those who are less free, if only indirectly. In time, enough people will see a crossdresser and realize she is not to be feared or obsessed over that it becomes No.Big Deal. I say indirectly because I don't go out to make any statement other than "This is me, and I'm claiming my place in the world." But in so doing, I know I am a de facto ambassador for all crossdressers because I am often the first one many have seen in person. By dressing as tastefully as possible, I hope to show us all in a positive light and make it easier for more to come out and break down more barriers.

No, you don't have to get out there if you're not ready. But know that others are helping in their own ways to make it easier for you all the time. So if and when you are ready, please do, have fun and add to the snowball effect.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm assuming when u say, "the cause", u r referring to those crossdressers who wear masks?

In that case, then, YES! I am a walking, talking advocate for all of them wherever Sherry appears!

I wonder what have u done for our cause lately, Gale!?

[GaleWarning]

I wonder what have u done for our cause lately, Gale!?

Thanks for asking, Doc. The question can be answered on two levels: the superficial and the deeper.


On a superficial level, in recent years this site has encouraged me to open up to my flatmates about my crossdressing. The two gay guys did not, and have never commented. My female flatmate K struggled to accept it. I very rarely wore anything feminine, for many months. There was a spat with our landlady and we were forced to move. The two guys went off on their own. K and I found our own place. I started to dress more and more. For a long time she was very unaccepting. But slowly over the course of about 18 months resistance has dwindled and greater acceptance has emerged. I now dress freely at home. I very frequently underdress when going out.


I am closeted because of my work situation. My immediate colleagues know that my toes are painted, having caught a glimpse of them on a couple of occasions. Just before Christmas, I wore a bright orange blouse to work 'because it is Christmas'.


On a deeper level, I challenge those who make homophobic comments on fb. A member of this site who is quite active in the transgender movement in NZ sent me a pm. In my response, I revealed to her that CDing is not my main passion. I told her of my true passion and shared with her how it applies to our shared lives in NZ. Sadly, she has not yet responded.


Let's see how this thread unfolds. I may reveal more a bit later.

[abbiedrake]

Got to go with the consensus here, Gale.
Those who venture out, as I'm intending to soon, are doing it for themselves and are under no obligation to any cause. We do it for ourselves. As others have said any benefit to other trans people is collateral.
In the meantime no-one should feel obligated to the trans socio-political campaign.