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Thread: Do you want to be a Women?

  1. #26
    Member Maria_mtf's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your replies, wow.

    Helen, what you have described it's what I was trying to get across I.E I was born in the right body, I can use that.

    Michelle sorry to here you position but if you manage it and are happy then that's all that matters.

    Roxy, good way of putting it.

    Carol, good for you.

    Leonora. I like the way you put it, yes it is thrilling and I think that is a big driver for me. As for your wife the only way to know is to ask, if you are not happy maybe you should talk.

    Samm, think you nailled it, my feelings are similar to yours and your wives to mine. It's more than just clothes is something I need to get across. As for being a bit of both, guy and girl, I am not sure. I don't have any female mannerisms and I am not really feminine. However my desire to dress up has lead me to want to explore being more feminine to complete the look so to speak. I don't want to be a guy in a dress behind a mask .

    Alice, Very true.

    Diane, simple way of putting it thanks.

    Judy, ditto.

    Kelly I thought you were going in a different direction with that one. I started off dressing as purely sexual, so to now want to go out dressed up abd meet others is a huge change, so it might happen again.

    Jocelyn perfect explanation, thank you.

    Frann, thanks for sharing.

    Toni, diff situation but similar feelings.

    Georgia. I am also very envious, how can they not realise how unfair it was wearing pretty things as the norn.

    Karen, very similar feelings to mine.

    Jen, the last part is so true and important. My wife is the best thing to happen to me.

    Docrobsherry, my groups are a bit limiting I agree, as it's a spectrum there are unlimited possibilities I guess. What I am after is making it simple for my wife whilst being honest.

    Stephanie, I have recently repeated all those quotes.

    Sometimes_miss. Thank you for your insights and sharing your experiences.

    Rochal, so true, everyone on here has helped me so much. Biggest thing I have taken from this site is to never forget to appreciate my wife.

    Beverley, makes sense, if we enjoy and are good at it why not do it.

    Sophie, your signature is perfect x

    Thanks again all, I will try to explain it my wife again now I have some other ways of putting it.

    Maria x
    Last edited by Maria_mtf; 01-05-2019 at 04:28 AM. Reason: missed pple

  2. #27
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Dont't blame a girl for having the irritatingly feminine trait of wanting to improve the people she likes.

    3CA7F7F3-E65B-430B-AD0F-3CCE4AAB381C.jpg

    Me? I just wanna be myself!
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  3. #28
    Senior Member Lilith Moon's Avatar
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    Thanks to everyone who posted here. It has given me some more understanding of my own status and maybe some answers. I especially empathize with the 'two worlds' concept. For me it is vital that I can present as female...deprived of the opportunity the need is like a never ending itch, 24/7. But I don't want to transition...why?

    Well, I have this male body that I don't hate. I don't love it either..it just is. There's also my adoring female partner who I love so much. I feel she would be destroyed if the 'male me' ceased to exist. Also, when I occasionally have the freedom to dress how I want I will alternate between male/female modes after an initial female dressing 'binge'.

    So I choose to live in 'two worlds' with my mixture of what are regarded as male/female traits. I'm 'two spirited'.

    I remember answering the 'male<-->female' pill question...would I take it? Sure, if it worked both ways.

    BTW, my answer was seen and misunderstood by my partner. It caused her so much distress that I shut down my crossdressing for several years and had a mega guilt trip for causing such hurt. But here I am again under a different ID and still feeling uneasy.

    Just my POV
    Last edited by Lilith Moon; 01-05-2019 at 07:03 AM. Reason: Grammar/typos

  4. #29
    Member Leonora's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karen G View Post
    It's a little complicated to explain sometimes. For me, I'm very happy being a dude who crossdresses, but also, honestly, I would have been really happy to be born as a woman, but the bottom line is, in any case I would like and need my wife to be in any of those lives. About transitioning, it's not for me since I would be as happy being a man or a woman who likes women. So for me: Straight crossdresser man or a lesbian woman.
    I like your last statement, I would say something like that to. I could be a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Lol

  5. #30
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater View Post
    Maria,

    Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    Many women will tell you a man wearing women's clothing is demeaning and in no sense flattering.

    Stephanie,

    I don't want to stray off post but your observation intrigued me if only down to the number of positive interactions those who go out, including me, report when encountering GG's one to one. Add to that the number of supportive SO's, okay there's those who are less that supportive, but I don't think that's because they view it primarily as demeaning to them.

    I could understand it being more the case years ago when men dressing up on TV comedy programs created more a caricature, a stereotype, of women. Perhaps it's a measure of change in society.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member
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    Yes, I'd like to be a woman, but.......... It's not meant to be in this life, so I do what I can, when I can, to get as close as I can.

  7. #32
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Yes I want to be a woman! But looking at my history, that will change tomorrow or the next day. Transitioning isn't for me at this point in my life. Heck, I wanted to be girl 50 years ago.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  8. #33
    chucktownchick KatieGG's Avatar
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    Lots of interesting answers here. I have asked my husband this question when he was getting more serious about dressing and his answer was no, but he wishes he could switch back and forth depending on how he felt that day.

    I have wondered what life would be like as a man, I can certainly think of situations that would be better if I was. I grew up around a lot of boys and while it made me feel special being the only girl I would often get annoyed being told "oh thatd only for the boys" or "you don't need to be playing rough with the boys, you'll get hurt"

    I'm also a big football fan and it would be nice if I was taking seriously when talking about it, or even being able to play in more than the powder puff games in school.

    Of course you have the more serious issues of being scared to walk to my car at night and being paased over for a promotion for a man, and being able to pee outside with ease lol

  9. #34
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    No. I am mostly happy with my male side. That being said I don't remember a point in my life where I did not want to wear women's clothes. I have accepted that is who I am.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  10. #35
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    Yes, I was meant to be a woman, and I want to be one, 100%!

  11. #36
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    Though I spend most of my time in a dress I have never wanted to be a woman. I love how the clothes feel and how I look in them - I have been told that they suit me better than male clothes. Wearing them is fun in a way male clothes rarely are. I don't wear make up or a wig at home but do when I go out. There is definitely a buzz to going out in public dressed and acting as a woman but it is ACTING. I am actually getting more and more uncomfortable with the idea of pretending to be a woman so I am going out less and less. Yes, I have breast forms and a bra and I feel good in them. Can't figure out why - they make the clothes look better? I shave my legs and armpits because I find it more aesthetically pleasing but will not shave my arms or pierce my ears because my male perception (by others) is linked to these. I genuinely have no desire to be a woman and even when I go out pretending to be one I do not identify as one. I identify as a man who is acting. I admire the ability of many women to look amazing via an outfit and I want a piece of that. The reason I do not want to reveal to my colleagues that I crossdress is because the public (and some people on this site) believe that if you dress to resemble a woman you MUST be transgender. I am not ashamed of crossdressing - I just do not want the change in perception of my masculinity that would result from me being revealed as a crossdresser. I would not lose my job or my friends but there would be a change in attitude especially in how women react to me, and I rather like the way they react to me (as a man) now. So some of us guys just like the clothes and occasionally acting the part of a woman without ever actually wanting to be one. I don't pass which does not bother me - I get told I look really good and that is enough for me. Because now and again being a man who looks good when acting as a woman is where I want to be.

  12. #37
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    Nope. I like being male that has the opportunity to dress as a female. I do not hate my body (other than loosing a few pounds). I never did understand why I desire to dress enfemme but I just do. I love the time I get to be enfemme but I believe I would loose interest in fully dressing if I had to do it everyday. I am betting that many real women find wearing loose fitting clothes and confortable shoes a huge benefit (ie dressing like a man). I believe that standing up to use the restroom is something everyone would want if they could do it.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  13. #38
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    Yeah, I would like to be a woman, but a girl first, and in my next life.
    I would like to be reborn as a girl from birth in my next life. I'm happy as a man in this one.
    There is a part of me deep inside that senses this is so.

  14. #39
    Member Periwinkle's Avatar
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    Nah. I think I'm fine the way I am. I just wanna wear pretty things!

  15. #40
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    Do I want to be a woman? No.
    I have spent too much of my life working on being a good man, a good husband and a good father.

    If not, then what do I want from crossdressing?
    I crossdress because it makes me happy. My brain is just hardwired to release a host of feel-good neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin, etc.) when I feminize myself. I believe my brain was hardwired from early childhood, and I can't change this.

    Some guys release these neurotransmitters when they fix cars, win at playing sports, complete some tasks, solve problems, etc. It is a sense of accomplishment. It reduces stress and produces a sense of personal gratification, as well as being a sexual arousal point. It isn't unhealthy at all, in fact, it probably makes us better persons. I believe everyone needs an outlet that allows them to feel good.

    So for me crossdressing is about releasing my dopamine and feeling good. It doesn't mean that I have to transition, or even need to pass in public as a beautiful young woman. Trying on a new skirt or a silky nightgown alone does wonders for me.
    Last edited by Confucius; 01-05-2019 at 11:33 AM. Reason: spelling error, grammar error

  16. #41
    Member Brandi Christine's Avatar
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    Over the years I have come to the realization that yes, I want to be a woman, but my circumstances have always prevented it, my family, my wife, my job, my fear.

    I think that I am somewhat different than most on this forum in that I don't have any desire to be sexual with women (or other CD or Trans people) while en femme. My fantasies for a long time always have me as the woman and I am with a man, whether the fantasy is sex, family, love, whatever...

    Were it not for those ties (& fears, although the fears have diminished with age), I would proceed in a heartbeat, it is a difficult & maddening situation as I am over 50 and my 'passable' time is ticking by every day.

    I have recently started seeing a therapist for my crossdressing/feelings and talked about it and she is supportive, one of my concerns I related to her is that I honestly felt this way 25 years ago, but was afraid to tell anyone (including the therapists I was seeing for depression/suicidal thoughts at the time). As I look back, had I had the courage to move forward then, I might be in a much different situation now. What I am afraid of is am I going to think the same thing in another ten years???

  17. #42
    Aspiring Member
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    I must admit the older I get the more I want to be a woman, not just in appearance but with all the female plumbing
    I have been married for almost 35 yrs to a wonderful lady(only out to her for the past 8 yrs) and will never
    go the full route and transistion and hurt her anymore than I already have.

  18. #43
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    When I was very young I prayed I would wake up and be a girl....well that didn't work out so well. In my male life I have been all male, bodybuilder (seriously competing) sports ect. maybe as a way to stay the forces, but always a nagging concept that I should have been a woman. After 73 yrs it aint gonna happen so try to be happy with what it is - crossdressing - and trying to do it right...…...best to all of our endeavors to emulate the feminine ……..sincerely …………………………..Debra

  19. #44
    Aspiring Member Sabrina133's Avatar
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    What a great question. From my perspective, while I am not a female, I am, by every other measure, a woman. I dress like woman, my mannerism are that of a woman, and my wife says i think like a woman. The fact that I have not taken the final step to become a female doesn't make me any less of a woman. It is how I see myself, how my wife sees me and how my colleagues see me.

    I will admit that as I grew up, that was not always the case. Probably like many here, i struggled with who I was when i realized that something wasn't quite right. I didn't like to play sports, i had an eye for what girls my age were wearing, and i had a definite effeminate way of acting. I struggled with both my sexuality and gender identity through my college experience and in the time I spent as an officer in the Army. Due to friendships and mentorships i recieved from many in the drag community in Austin TX, i realized that while i might be a male, I am a woman. This point of view has been reinforced and encouraged by the wonderful person who i met and married when i moved to the midwest.

    So, do i wish I had been born a woman - I was. Do i wish I would have been born a female - certainly would have made growing up easier but, frankly, no. I am glad I was born a male.

  20. #45
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    When I first read , or saw the idea in of "shape shifting", the concept totally enthralled me. To have the ability to change from one state to another would be so good. You could get up in the morning and your mood, or desire would lead you into a day of your choosing. That being said, I would probably spend 75% of my time in male mode, like work, business, exercise. The 25% in female mode would be relaxing, shopping, and people time. I find that my feminine side is more relational, than my masculine side. I guess what I am really attempting to say is, I would like to get the best of both worlds, but in a polarized society the male side has way more advantages.
    Last edited by Gillian Gigs; 01-05-2019 at 12:59 PM.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  21. #46
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    That is a steep slope in my life. I think my answer is MAYBE, in a very limited sense. I have had a very fulfiling life and fun one as my male self. I feel I have accomplished a lot on a local, antional and international scales. Thus my male self is very established and known. I did not start expressing my female side until late in life and totally love it. For me it is very easy to switch from one expression to the other and have acceptance from family and close friends. So I should be totally happy, BUT I want real breasts. Not massive, but somewhere between a B and C cup. That is as far as I would want to go. To be able to openly express both sides of my personality at the same time. Yet the world I operate in would never accept this. It is very late in my life to do this

  22. #47
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    Maria,
    I posted two threads in NB section titled , " If only " and " Lovely present but ... !"

    Did I believe I would ever get to this point ? I separated from my wife in February last year , moved twenty mlies away ( possibly not that far from you !) to attempt to go full time . It has worked out better than I expected so now I've reached a point of wanting to be seen less and less in male mode .

    Debating about labels and the " passing " situation , I now accept I go out as Teresa , nothing is off limits . When I first joined here a member who sadly has moved on called her situation social transition , she went on to continue her career in the Canadian Army as a female major . As I recall she never claimed to be a woman as she always said labels are for soup cans, she simply went out as Marcelle .

    So to answer your question do I want to be woman , well lets turn it round and say I prefer now not to be a man . At the moment I'm still a husband , a father and also a grandfather , I posted recently about a wonderful day out with my daughter , grandaughter and her mother in law . I felt comfortable and dare I say it felt normal , what people actually view me as I can't say so I'll just use Marcelle's phrase and say I felt good as Teresa , if some like to think I'm a woman then that's a wonderful bonus for me .

    I'm not impersonating anyone as I'm out as Teresa .
    Last edited by Teresa; 01-05-2019 at 02:43 PM.

  23. #48
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    Sure, if possible I would love to be a 20 something curvy attractive woman for a year and see if I wanted to stay or go back. Imagine all the clothes that fit, no tucking, clevage, non violent female world, express your true feelings and not be macho male, pretty and attractive to your self and others, soft and feminine and I could go on and on.

  24. #49
    Aspiring Member ShelbyDawn's Avatar
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    Do I want to be a woman? No, not really. I like who I am and am perfectly happy with the current balance I have in my life. Having said that, if I woke up tomorrow as a woman, I think it would be pretty great.

  25. #50
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    I have to agree with Shelbydawn and Deebra's post. I like the wording and agree with what you said. Thanks for explaining it so well.

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