Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 87

Thread: Dealing With Male Attention...

  1. #26
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    🙈🙉🙊
    Posts
    1,740
    With respect, Mickitv, I'm not sure sexual orientation comes into it that much in this case. As CDers interacting with the public, it sort of behooves us to humor those who take our femininity seriously, in the same way they might be humoring us.

    I imagine even bisexuals sometimes turn down certain people.
    Last edited by Patience; 01-12-2019 at 11:39 AM. Reason: Being pretty is a tough job, but someone has to do it.

  2. #27
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    235
    Women have figured out how to gracefully cope with unwanted attention for generations. Just because a woman may be single and heterosexual doesn't mean that she welcomes all the attention she gets from men. Similarly, the fact that you aren't into men doesn't mean you have to get convulsive and start throwing up because a man finds you attractive.

  3. #28
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Ft Lauderdale Fl
    Posts
    3,785
    Quote Originally Posted by MonicaPVD View Post
    Similarly, the fact that you aren't into men doesn't mean you have to get convulsive and start throwing up because a man finds you attractive.
    Well said !
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  4. #29
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    🙈🙉🙊
    Posts
    1,740
    Honey, If I got convulsive and threw up every time a man thought I was attractive, I wouldn't need a gym membership. I'd be thin as a rail!

  5. #30
    Senior Member JaytoJillian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,958
    Quote Originally Posted by DeeDeeB View Post
    If you feel threatened, then alert the bartender, 911 or what ever else you would be appropriate for the situation. Do keep in mind that as trans folk we are the #1 target of hate crimes. So always be careful where you go...
    If you're out at a club/bar, the staff is responsible for your safety while you're on the grounds of the establishment. In my cautionary tale, I was out at my favorite LGBT watering hole in Harrisburg PA--Stallionshttps://www.flickr.com/photos/stalli...&new_session=1 A couple of guys who were having drinks at the bar began paying me lots of nice compliments--which I loved--, drink offers (which I had the good sense to refuse) and eventually an invitation to come back to their hotel. When I politely declined, they became aggressive and rude. I immediately sensed that I was in danger and by the way they stalked me around the bar, I felt that I was going to be assaulted the moment I stepped outside. I approached a bartender with whom I had become friendly and always tipped well. I explained that I was ready to call it a night but that I thought these two characters where going to follow me to my car. Right away, the bartender told me to come with him--through a door marked "employees only" he led me out of the bar and on to the street via a "secret passage" LoL. He walked me to my car and gave me a hug goodnight. Male attention is something that I don't mind, just be careful and recognize predators when you see them.
    Last edited by JaytoJillian; 01-13-2019 at 05:23 AM.
    WARNING:Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies, projects, or any other purpose - YOU DO NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION To Use Any Of My Profile Or Pictures In Any Form Or Forum Both Current And Future.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaytojillian/

  6. #31
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    15,964
    Also please be aware a guy might try to pick you up on the street.

    One night while walking to my car in the city centre this guy attempted to pick me up as I left the bar.

    To be fair to him he was polite and after about 5 mins he got the message I was not interested and walked away.

    I can hear you all thinking, "why did you walk on your own" well I wasn't on my own.

    I was with my friend so it was a bit of a shock to find this guy trying to pick me up.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  7. #32
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    New South Wales
    Posts
    1,652
    Male attention is top of my not like list!

    Possibly worse when I'm in drab and some male says that I'm an attractive MAN? not my scene dude!

    What can we do if we look nice though?
    Just work with it!
    Stacy!
    STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
    Stop breathing imagine none of this is real

    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"

  8. #33
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    🙈🙉🙊
    Posts
    1,740
    JaytoJillian, what a creepy story. Glad the bartending staff had your back.

    Thank you all for your replies.

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member Desiree2bababe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Georgia - Hotlanta
    Posts
    817
    I never set out in the beginning to attract a man's attention but once I had it, I found I truly enjoyed it. I see no reason not to enjoy both sexes. I still love women but also enjoy being the woman with a nice man.

  10. #35
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,266
    I love to be around "nice respectful" guys.
    One you can hold a conversation with.

  11. #36
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,486
    This is one fear that keeps me in the closet. I do like to look good, and like compliments from people, but don't want the risk of physical contact. My FB account gets requests from males that I turn away. I would likely only venture out with someone who would support me.
    My wife hates that all you genetic males on the site (and a few GGs) look at my clothed body. She considers it hers alone to admire. Pointing out that clothes catalog models get admired by both genders didn't help - she says they get paid to do that.
    Hugs, Ellen

  12. #37
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,209
    One severely creepy incident here in over 40 years of going out regularly. Although this one incident happened downtown in the middle of the day, I think the fact that I stick almost entirely to mainstream places keeps the uncomfortable encounters to near zero. Shopping and restaurants for me. I've never been in a bar alone, or even a restaurant/bar with live music alone.

    I had one incident in a mainstream restaurant in the evening that in hindsight was probably a close call. I didn't realize it at the time. My standard routine in male or female mode when dining alone was to order a drink, look over the menu, order when they brought my drink, then go to the restroom. Never thought about it until this incident, but this left my drink unattended while I was in the restroom. I had drank only a little, but started feeling "woozy" even before my food arrived. I thought it was because I hadn't had anything to eat all day and the alcohol was hitting me particularly hard. Really hard! I didn't think I was going to make it even till my food arrived. I didn't drink any more after it hit me, and ate a couple of bites thinking it'd get better. It didn't. I asked for my bill, and by the time I paid I could hardly walk. I sat in my car for a while hoping to sober up, and did a little. Made it to my hotel and went immediately to bed.

    In retrospect, I think somebody put something in my drink. At the time I was either unaware of date rape drugs, or at least never thought it'd happen to me. There were two guys at the table across the aisle from me. Maybe it was them. Maybe it was somebody who just walked by. Maybe it really was the combination of alcohol and not eating all day. It made me aware, though, to never leave a drink unattended.

    If you go where guys go to pick up women (or men), you'll probably get exactly what you expect. Stick to places where that rarely happens and it'll rarely happen.

  13. #38
    Member Yinlingyen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    298
    I have been at the end of both wanted and unwanted attention by men.
    The wanted attention no doubt left me feeling all smug, sexy and great.
    In fact I am dating a gentlemen I met for over 1.5 years now and I am deeply enjoying his company.
    The unwanted attention has occurred on several occasion and I have posted one of these nasty experiences here, if you search my posts you'll see it (Crude comments from a man).

  14. #39
    Silver Member Kandi Robbins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    2,129
    Been out several hundred times, mostly in mainstream situations. I fool no one. I've been in front of tens of thousands of people. Plenty of complements, have had meals purchased for me, drinks bought as well. I am frequently noticed. No issues, no male attention. None.

    What you make of going out dressed is greatly influenced about where you go and how you present and hold yourself. Being smart, appropriate and confident will go a very long way toward assuring you have no issues.

    While "CD friendly" places seem a comfortable way to get out, they also attract a negative element.
    Pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/.

    Google "Kandi's Land" and visit my blog for positive and uplifting posts!

  15. #40
    Junior Member Alenko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    42
    I'm relatively new to CDing so when I started to attract men I guess it was a shock to me, usually in clubs or bars which I hardly go to. I guess they're not my scene lol. I'd much rather dress up while with friends

  16. #41
    Junior Member Alexis00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    Near Boston, MA, USA
    Posts
    30
    Quote Originally Posted by Stacy Darling View Post
    Male attention is top of my not like list!

    Possibly worse when I'm in drab and some male says that I'm an attractive MAN? not my scene dude!

    What can we do if we look nice though?
    Just work with it!
    Stacy!
    Teenage girls are top of list for me. Observant, noisy, usually have no place to go. It’s like being followed by a pack of monkeys. (No, I’ve never actually been followed by a pack of monkeys).

    I prefer to go out with my own posse of friends when possible.

  17. #42
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Nation's Capital
    Posts
    4,112
    I've been hit on while en femme by a dude a couple of times and a chick a couple of times. I don't think I'm all that attractive so I chalk it up to beer goggles.

    I'm not sure what I would do if someone made a serious attempt to woo me. If it was a guy alone, I'd flash my large (faux) engagement ring and/or tell him I was only into chicks. If it was a guy from a group of men, I'd try to get rid of him, but give him a story he could tell his guy friends and save his dignity.

    If it was a chick, I'd be thinking, "Where have you been my whole life?" But I'd still be very careful to make sure that she wasn't "procuring" me for a guy friend.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  18. #43
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,578
    Attention from men can be exciting or scary. Depends on whether or not the guy is attractive to me.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  19. #44
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    🙈🙉🙊
    Posts
    1,740
    I believe GGs feel the same way, Ressie.

  20. #45
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    38
    Nothing for me to report yet as haven’t really been out, except late at night for a walk around the block or three.

    But I have learned so much from you peeps with good advice, to always be aware and on my guard at all times for when I do venture out to a bar, a restaurant, or even on the street. Might have to buy myself a ring to pretend I am taken if confronted by a creep. A very informative topic.

  21. #46
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Alberta, CA
    Posts
    179
    I had something creepy happen to me.

    It's Halloween. I'm dressed to the nines but the agreement with the wife is it needs to be obvious I'm a guy in drag (I can do better than this when I want to).

    We go for dinner. I have a beer and need to hit the washroom. I get up and head into the men's washroom. I'm dressed like a girl so I need to sit down in a stall. A short time after I entered, the bathroom door opens, someone comes in, says "damn", turns around and leaves. The timing was too weird. It was like after I got up to walk to the bathroom, someone noticed and decided to follow me in.

    I don't know what they had in mind. A compliment? Something more sinister? I don't know but I sensed something odd was going on.
    Why fit in when you were born to stand out? - Dr. Suess

  22. #47
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    5,310
    In the past at a local gay/cross dresser bar I have been hit on several times. I always said thank you, but not interested. I always wear my wedding band. One time a very attractive male sat next to me and became very direct, running his hand up and down my leg and tryimg to reach under my dress. I felt he maay have had a bit to drink but there are always a few present that seek this attention and are willing to hook up. I am not one of them. But I have to admit that this attention was a bit enjoyable. I was also hit on by an attractive cross dresser from out of town. Unable to pull the trigger, but thought about it for sever days afterward. Fantasy does not become reality for me.

  23. #48
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,151
    Alice, if this guy ever ran his hands up the legs of a GG trying to reach under her dress, she'd have grounds to press charges for sexual harassment. Can you imagine the gall?
    Reine

  24. #49
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,417
    I have been out over 30 times in 3 countries over the years. On more than one occasion I have been ogled by guys but not in an aggressive manner, I have seen men stare at my boobs (which always makes my lol inside - if only you knew they are fake).. I have only ever had one 'incident'.

    I was at a bar with another girlfriend in San Francisco, just an ordinary one. We got separated and I landed up talking to what I thought was a couple.. (turned out they didnt know each other) suddenly I saw these lips coming towards me alas not from the woman but from the drunk guy. I turned my head like I had been avoiding kisses from guys for years. He said to me "Why?" I said Why back to him. He repeated "Why don't you want to kiss me?" I said Why would I want to kiss you? and moved off. I never figured out if he was saying why would I not want to kiss a man because I was dressed as a woman or why would I not want to kiss him? Although he was quite drunk he was not at all aggressive, but still I felt quite vulnerable and uncomfortable. That incident definitely heightened my awareness to how women must feel a LOT more often than once...
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  25. #50
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,450
    I've never been hit on, mostly because I avoid situations in which it might be possible. Pretty sure I'd throw up on the spot were it to happen. Hugs, Michelle

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State