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Thread: Age-appropriate dressing

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member kaleyg's Avatar
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    Age-appropriate dressing

    I've felt torn often times when I see a CD who is wearing clothing that just isn't age appropriate. It isn't that it isn't flattering (it usually isn't) -- I would have the SAME reaction to an older gg who was wearing an outfit designed for a 20 something. And I say this as an "older" cd myself, who fantasizes about being that young sexy thing! It just isn't reality given body shape, etc. Even wigs and make up can be wildly disconnected from our age.

    Now, let me say -- it is a different thing when someone is just living out a fantasy in front of the camera, and sharing the pics here. I'm mostly talking about someone who is trying to go out in public.

    What do you ladies think? Should I just shut up about other people's preferences, or even support them unconditionally? Or should we be helping each other learn what is appropriate for public presentation?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    You mean like wearing a pair of pink Barbie gloves for kids? I have small hands and they fit perfectly. I think I look pretty decent with a 26 inch waistline right after the Holiday season.

    I have short shorts that fit me perfectly at the waist and hips, but I don't carry enough weight in the thighs like a GG to get that skin tight look.
    I work out in the yard so I have nicely toned legs. They don't have sun damage like a lot of GGs because I like to work in the shade of my yard.
    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 01-05-2019 at 09:22 PM.

  3. #3
    Member Cynthia_0101's Avatar
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    I try not to judge other people at all, if that's what you like, by all means, rock it. We all have our own styles and fashion sense.
    Be Yourself, And Be Fabulous While Doing it!

  4. #4
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    It's a learning process, for CDs who started the journey in the closet usually meant less time spent practising than the average gg. It takes time to find ourselves, and to find a style that suits us. Just say it normally takes 4 years for a gg to learn about themselves, stretching that 4 years into part time hours means a lot more years is needed for a CD to gather the same knowledge, so mistakes are inevitable. It's like we take the adulesant years and experience it part time. All adulesant girls make mistakes.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I have read other places, that since we missed those early years by being stuck in male clothes, some of us progress through those earlier age clothes before settling on something typically more age appropriate.

    My wife hates when I wear skirts that are more frilly or cutesy and I should wear something my age. My mother in law says some of my skirts are too mature for me and I should wear something my age. But most of the time I do wear something close to my age, even if I do go outside of age appropriateness sometimes.

  6. #6
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    It has been a challenge to find a style I am confident in. I probably started with too old, more shapeless clothes. As I have become more confident I perhaps look at styles that are too young for my age in shops. However I normally refelct and watch what GG of my age group are wearing and copy them. I have been known to ask where a lady had purchased a dress she was wearing.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    I like to observe others, take mental notes about what works and what doesn't, and apply what I learn (filtered through my own fashion sense) to improving my presentation in the future. I am liberal with compliments when someone looks good, but keep negative comments strictly to myself unless I am asked directly. Even then, I try to be gentle and constructive and often try to focus on one thing that needs improvement, even if my internal impression may be that the look is a train wreck!

    - Diane

  8. #8
    Member Diane Taylor's Avatar
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    To each their own when it comes to how some of us dress. That said, I think it's somewhat important to look presentable when going out in public if you want to go by unnoticed. Part of that means looking your age, otherwise you'll stick out like a sore thumb. We can still make ourselves look a little younger than our actual age with nice clothing and proper makeup application but if we try to make ourselves look 40 years younger than we are, it just doesn't work.

  9. #9
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Wear whatever you like, and try not to be bothered by what other people might think. After all, to >99% of the people who see us, EVERYTHING we wear is that is considered female clothing is 'inappropriate'; doesn't matter what age group it's specified for. If you're 50 and wearing an outfit for a 15 year old or an 80 year old woman, you're not going to be considered suddenly appropriately dressed just because you're wearing a dress for a 50 year old woman.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Tania75's Avatar
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    I'm sure, like many other people, we see people who really don't have the body for the clothes that they are wearing, male and female, CD, or whatever, I just let them go and do their thing, and if they feel great, then all power to them.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Does it seem like something becomes appropriate just because it looks good on some celebrity who gets to spend all their time looking good? Never mind that most of the population can't do that?

  12. #12
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    Concerning how the judgement of others affect us, I am reminded of an old Aesop fable.

    There was a middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair. He had two girlfriends, one of whom was twenty years his junior and the other was twenty years his senior. When he spent time with the younger, she was in the habit of plucking out his grey hairs, a few at a time, to make him look more of a match to her age. The elder woman often did the same, but plucking out his dark hairs. Eventually, he was bald.

  13. #13
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    It is true that amongst the general population there will be those who, no matter what we wear, will think we're incorrectly dressed. Those same folks will, if they see someone not of our community, who's garishly or guilty of outrageous style faux pas in their presentation, react much the same.

    If in going out being read is of concern to you then if like me you're in your sixties dressing like a teenager who's on a night out with the girls while doing the food shopping is going to draw less than approving glances.

    True there are GG's who's build doesn't lend itself to certain styles wearing them regardless. Even if they don't say it, folks will be thinking, "That doesn't suit her", and that's the point. Knowing what really suits you is a skill. It starts with the realisation that you most likely don't have the same figure as the gorgeous 18 year old you're lustful of. Dressing like her won't make you look like her.

    Hence keep those clothes for you and the mirror. Going out requires a more sensible pragmatic approach. Yes you'll be guilty of conformism but as is written time and time again here and for good reason, if going out dress both time of day and age appropriately.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    What is “age appropriate” for a given person can depend a lot on apparent versus actual age, as well as mental versus actual age. Regardless of the actual or apparent age of the person, I will agree that if a certain outfit or wig does not look good on a person, they should reconsider wearing it in public. And I will also agree we are not doing many favors to refrain from politely, and preferably privately, telling a lady that what she is wearing is not a good look on her. Personally, I have no issues with someone politely telling me a given look is just not working, from their perspective. Even if I may disagree with their opinion.

    That said... I am full time as a woman, I am 61, but others consistently state I look closer to 40 as a woman, and my ‘mental age’, as far as what I feel like internally, is closer to 27. My complexion is fairly free of wrinkles, and the skin on my legs and arms is firm and smooth. So I frequently wear clothes from Hot Topic - a store that caters mostly to ladies in their teens to 20’s - and most of the time, those outfits look quite good on me! So I wear what pleases me.

    Personally, at this point in my life, I refuse to wear grey or grey-streaked wigs, or to dress like an ‘old lady’. There will come a time when my appearance won’t carry off such young clothing and hair styles, and when I can’t dance the night away with the same energy as a woman half my age. At that point, I may embrace my status as an elder, and show my grey, and ‘dress appropriately’. But until that day comes, my feminine side, who has had far fewer years given to her to enjoy life, will revel in my apparent youth, for as long as I can.

    I will, however, also acknowledge that for many in our community, nothing short of reincarnation into their next life will make them look ‘appropriate’, in any sort of opposite-gender clothing. I honestly think they deserve a little more consideration. If they are comfortable, and wearing that outfit makes them happy, why detract from that happiness?
    Last edited by Ceera; 01-06-2019 at 06:38 AM.

  15. #15
    Member Brandi Christine's Avatar
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    I think this mirrors what some cisgender women do, there are women out there in their 40s, 50s & 60's who dress as if they are in their 20's. Some can pull it off very well, some cannot. What is funny is the reactions of other women towards the ones who can pull it off are usually negative, while the reaction of men is typically "Hell Yea" when they see a sexily dressed woman who can pull it off whatever age she may be.

    I wouldn't necessarily dress for going out (which I have never done in daylight anyway, yet…) like I dress for the pictures I post, but I also know women dress for men, not for other women… And if you got it, flaunt it!

  16. #16
    chucktownchick KatieGG's Avatar
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    I was going to post somthing similar to this, my husband tends to dress more like how girls did when we were in high school, which is when he really started dressing. He loves the mini skirt over jeans look, which I used to rock back in the day.

    I always joke with him that its time to leave the junior section behind and start dressing like a big girl lol

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Sabrina133's Avatar
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    Dressing age inappropriate is a great way to get clocked. If you are trying to pass, then being conscientious of the way you dress is an important consideration. It doesn't mean you cant dress flirty - just be aware.

    Having said that, if you are going to go to a place that openly welcomes CDers, then girl, wear what you want. Have fun with it.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    KatieGG, I also started dressing in my teenage years and have been yearning to buy cargo skirts like I envied on the girls in high school (both a knee length and maxi length, and why are these not more available nowadays, cargo shorts are totally in style still, and weary of buying online for sizing variance of manufacturers).

  19. #19
    chucktownchick KatieGG's Avatar
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    At the end of the day wear what you like and feel comfortable in. Especially around the house obviously nobody will see. But I tell him people are more likely to notice the girl dressed like a 16 year old in 2007 lol.
    We go to concerts a lot where he blends in a little more dressed like that, but I started buying him clothes more appropriate for a girl in her late 20s for when we go out. They still have a lot of fun and cute stuff he likes. Older doesnt have to mean boring.

  20. #20
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    Myself, my wonderful wife and most of our female friends are about the same age range so it is easy for my to gauge what ladies around my age are wearing.

    x x x

  21. #21
    Member Heather Anne's Avatar
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    I agree completely that any CD that is going out in public dressed as a women should be should dressed age appropriate. Pay attention to what women your age are wearing will give you a good idea what to wear. Also the venue where you are going. You would not wear a formal gown to go to a nightclub. Something goes when going shopping you would not wear really tall high heels. My goal when I go out in public is to blend in the best I can. If I were a working woman my entire wardrobe would appropriate to wear to work.

  22. #22
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Any woman who goes out in public asmutton dressed up as lamb is open to ridicule.

    I wear younger clothing most times but it is tops and pants and easy to get the right balance.

    Most of my skirt hems are above the knee as I look dowdy in below knee dresses.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  23. #23
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Personal preferences matter a lot in everyone's choice of attire. I am of the age appropriate, blending school of thought. A lot of people, even though they don't say anything, judge us based on how we look and behave - the image we project. And that plays into how much they support our freedom to express ourselves and what side of the fence they fall on with regard to opinions regarding mental illness. There are a lot of people that still think transgenderism is a mental illness - we know it isn't but they do and behavior that validates their thinking is a negative influence.

    In my experience here in Denver, it is pretty rare to see a trans person who is not dressed fairly age appropriately. And it is pretty rare to see a GG who isn't dressed age appropriately. The general attitude here is blend in and look "normal" if you want to be accepted in that way. But others may have other ideas and want to be noticed and inappropriate dress is certainly a way to do that. I agree it is up to the person and what turns their wheels, but the trans community as a whole is trying to be accepted and embraced as just another variation in human diversity. If an observer sees you and concludes you are wacko that does factor into their opinion of trans people as a whole. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. That is negative that is not helpful. Do as you please, dress as you please, but remember everything has consequences, both good and bad. I believe if we want to be accepted we have to make an effort to be acceptable.

  24. #24
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Age appropriate, as has been said, depends not only on age, but on apparent age.
    My wife always tells me I look about 45 when I'm actually somewhat older (not telling). Therefore I dress as other women in their 40's dress. I don't feel it's beneficial to dress as a 2 year old would since my purpose is to blend in and be accepted. Then again, if I was say 5'4", 120# I might dress younger than 40 (probably ), but I'm not and if I tried to pull off that look I'd be pegged immediately.
    The same is true if you are not dressed for the venue. Midday shopping at the grocery store in a fancy dress, black stockings and high heel sandals screams "look at me" and you will not only be noticed, but you will be read.

    In the privacy of our homes, anything goes. Dress like a little girl, a hooker, a maid, a bride, a ballet dancer or whatever. Just remember that unless you are trying to draw attention, look like you belong.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  25. #25
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I dress age appropriate. And as a matter of fact, my wife tells me I commonly dress like a mother of the bride.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

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