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Thread: Who would you marry?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    Jan 2012
    East coast

    Who would you marry?

    For those who have completely transitioned, or are nearly complete, would you marry a cross dresser or become a SO to a person who is a cross dresser? If you are already married or in a long term relationship, feel free to offer your thoughts.

  2. #2
    Member Paula DAngelo's Avatar
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    Nov 2012
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Whether someone is a cross dresser or not has no bearing on who I would form a relationship with or marry. For that matter their gender/sex doesn't factor into the decision either. What matters to me is the person inside and not their physical appearance, and our feelings for each other.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    May 2016
    North Carolina
    As the saying goes, "Love is the answer!" Gotta be love before commitment! I have had enough with marriage and am not looking for anyone! But who knows? Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  4. #4
    Senior Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Oct 2015
    Riverside, CA near, Corona, Los Angeles.
    No he....! Because probably learn from me desire to transition, then I would be married with a
    See my daily posts and pics on tumblr, just look for @sexyvane

  5. #5
    Member Mirya's Avatar
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    Feb 2016
    It wouldn’t be a total dealbreaker, but it would be a huge negative in my view.

    • I’m attracted to men and masculinity. It would be a big turn off for me to see my boyfriend in women’s clothing.

    • Seeing him like that would evoke too many bad memories of my early and pre-transition days. I don’t want my boyfriend to stir up my bad memories with his CDing.

    • I’d always be wondering in the back of my mind, what if he someday wants to transition? Because sometimes CDs don’t realize they’re TG or TS until later in life.

    For all those reasons, almost certainly no. He would have to be absolutely amazing in every other way for me to overlook the CDing. Like maybe if he looked like Jon Hamm and was a vampire or something, lol.

  6. #6
    Senior Member KellyJameson's Avatar
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    Aug 2011
    No. It is not the cross dressing as much as the temperament that usually goes with cross dressing.

    Among cross dressers and some MTF there is a high degree of artistic inclination (usually musical) , emotional sensitivity or a type of logic that produces computer programmers and tech people.

    I don't resonate with people devoid of emotion who are all logic and analytical. I find them to cold but a man that is highly emotional is also not masculine enough for me to find him attractive. They lack an animal quality about them that appeals to me.

    I tend to be attracted to men who are outdoor types. Into hunting, guns & trucks with no feminine inclinations but with a soft side that is usually displayed toward their dog or children. A toughness but with a gentle side.

    I have no interest in hunting, guns, trucks or chopping wood but seem to be attracted to men that do.

    These men are absolutely comfortable in their masculinity and have no interest in escaping from it.

    They tend to be very binary in their thinking. Needless to say this is a problem for a transsexual woman because what she is attracted to is often disgusted or deeply offended by what she stands for which is the opposite of the binary as being non-binary

    Even before I transitioned my closes friendships were with men like this from very early in my childhood.

    I'm attracted to my opposite energy. I have several male friends who have a femininity about them but I feel zero physical attraction to them because I'm not attracted to that which I already am.

    It is not being judgmental but my sexuality is very selective. It is rare someone can make it wake up. I have no control over it.
    Last edited by KellyJameson; 01-10-2019 at 06:18 PM.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    Jan 2012
    East coast
    Interesting replies so far. Two who would would prefer to evaluate the entire relationship before knowing the answer. Two who express a clear preference for a very masculine type and with no hints of cross dressing, much like many women who find out their SO’s are cross dressers and have a difficult time dealing with the situation. One person does not like the idea of a cross dressing spouse, yet is currently married and transitioning.

    Hopefully there will be some more replies.

  8. #8
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    Jan 2015
    SW England
    I'm happily married, and I can't imagine there exists another person like her in the world, so this is hypothetical, but here goes. This is in the context that in my life, I have lived bisexually, so I'm not against either gender from that perspective. This is still not an easy question to answer.

    Since HRT my sexual interest is pretty close to zero, if not quite zero. So, any relationship would be in the context of companionship. Having removed the smell of male urine in my household, do I ever want it back? "Not on your nelly." I remain really put-off and disliking of hairiness, so I reckon a male companion would not be high on my list, but the right type of CD (slim, dark, unhairy) could work for me, possibly. Energetically, they would have to come across really feminine, and I reckon their mind also, and emotionally open.

    We never know for real, though, unless we put our foot in the water, do we?
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  9. #9
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    Apr 2006
    I am quite happily married and Sandra has travelled this journey with me from start to end, so I can only answer from what if.

    I have noticed that my sexual preferences haven't changed one bit, if I was "on the market" so to speak, I would seek out females, but not sure if I would be able to have a relationship with a bi-sexual female, I'm certainly a monogamous individual and wouldn't like to share
    Sometimes you need to listen to what is being said
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    Jan 2012
    East coast
    Answers seem to come in twos. Now there are two responses from women who have transitioned and are married to their wives from BT (before transition). My interpretation is that both appreciate the feminine traits of their wives.

  11. #11
    Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    Oct 2011
    I was asked this very question a couple of months ago. My answer then was brief, referring to "the whole package" instead of throwing the baby out with the bath water. After thinking about it, and reading these responses, I can now offer additional thoughts on the matter.

    I like Kelly's preference for tough, masculine, outdoor types (men of course) that have a soft side. I like the outdoors too. I am NOT going to chop any wood but I do like wood. Snuggled up under the stars on a cool night watching a camp fire burn down would be very nice. The next morning, before he left for the deer blind or the river, I would love to prepare him a hearty breakfast. And later in the day, after thinking about me the whole time, he would return all smelly and I would coyly hold him off at arms length until he got cleaned up. Then, he would ooh and ah over the feast I had been preparing for him.

    I'm not sure how often masculine men might be disgusted or deeply offended by a transwoman. I have had men exhibit an attraction to me. Evidently for some there is a certain mystique at play.

    That being said, I have to agree with Lana Mae. "Love is the answer!" For me to make a commitment to marry I would have to be assured that he loved me unconditionally. I have never felt loved like that in my entire life. From my mean, abusive mother to my two ex-spouses I have never had anyone in my life who genuinely loved me, who's love wasn't conditional. It would be wonderful to have someone who completely accepted me, loved me and wanted to spend the rest of their life with me.

    What might that person be like? I dunno. There are things more important than outdoor stuff. He wouldn't have to like the things I do like sewing, cooking, growing orchids. He might have an interest in, and spend time with, machines, cars, tools, planes, etc. There would be adequate overlap in the things we both like. I know that he would love to spend time with me, maybe long conversations over coffee in the mornings or riding in the car on a shopping trip or long walks together. He would love my cooking.

    I know that he would also be generous and intuitively know that one of my love languages is the language of gifts and love to speak it, look for reasons to speak it.

    I know that he would "get me" and I would "get" him, understanding each other like no one ever has. There would be an unexplainable connection of our souls.

    He would be very intelligent. Would he be smarter than me? Probably not. He would think so and I would humor him and let him go on thinking so.

    Would he be a crossdresser? Maybe, but his attraction for me would make his Y chromosome dominate most of the time.

    I am realistic about this. I know that men like this are few and far between, if they even exist at all. I live alone. Most of my living is in the past. I get lonely. But, I will not settle.

    In the meantime I have my roommate, not very tall but certainly dark and handsome. He is cool. He loves my cooking and listens when I talk, sometime.
    IMG_1354 (1).jpg
    Last edited by Jeri Ann; 01-17-2019 at 10:49 AM.

  12. #12
    Member DanaM64's Avatar
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    Aug 2011
    I think everyone has valid points and it goes to show that we are very much individual when it comes to treatment all the way to preference of a partner...

    Myself, I met my future partner via a gaming site through her son... A long story, one day I will share but till then great thread!

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